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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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User95 How do I make sense of this?
  • replies: 3

Me and my ex were in a relationship for 3 years. We agreed on no contact due to us both still having feelings for eachother, and the breakup was very respectful with no bad feelings involved. During those 3 years, we got a dog together which we both ... View more

Me and my ex were in a relationship for 3 years. We agreed on no contact due to us both still having feelings for eachother, and the breakup was very respectful with no bad feelings involved. During those 3 years, we got a dog together which we both agreed would stay at his house and I can see her anytime I want asking as I message him before hand. I messaged him asking to see her Thursday which he said she would love to see me and ‘might see you Saturday :)’. On Saturday, I got there to see her and found out he was there, he stayed inside on the couch, and made me feel very sad and awkward that we were so close yet he chose to ignore me and didn’t even say ‘Hi’. It’s got me feeling very confused and sad. I can’t make sense of him not even acknowledging me when we were a glass door away from eachother. I messaged him afterwards saying ‘Sorry I didn’t say hello, I didn’t know if you wanted me to or not.’ He has seen it but didn’t reply. How do I make sense of this as I’m struggling how to interpret it??

Vanilla_Bean Hello
  • replies: 2

Hello This is tough for me, but I'm at a place now in life where I'm not sure where to go. Thankful this place exists. I'm just here to talk, look for advice and hopefully offer my own at some point to someone who may need it. I'm 35, I have Spinal S... View more

Hello This is tough for me, but I'm at a place now in life where I'm not sure where to go. Thankful this place exists. I'm just here to talk, look for advice and hopefully offer my own at some point to someone who may need it. I'm 35, I have Spinal Stenosis and osteo arthritis which causes round the clock chronic pain. I also live with crippling anxiety and depression, I see a clinical psychologist and take medication, most days it's not enough. I used to hurt myself when I was younger, I have scars left over my arms because of this, I wish I could erase them. My husband ( the love of my life ) also suffers severe anxiety and depression. It's more terrifying for me when he's having an episode than when it's myself. Over the years we've both had some pretty big mental health breakdowns, a couple of which lasted the span of about 4-5 weeks. It's terrifying. After my first major one in 2018 my husband bought me a small stuffed elephant as a gift, I haven't slept a single night without it in my arms since he gave it to me. We are both unemployed, long term. This is the source of a lot of our anxieties, dealing with job agencies, being forced out to do things we can't handle. Some days I think my husband would be better off without me, that if I wasn't around he'd have a better handle on his mental health issues, he'd probably have a job and not have to deal with this stress. Some days I just wish I didn't exist. That's a grim note to leave things on, I'm sorry. Thank you for reading.

CaptainCab Ex-Wife Has Me Almost Running On Empty
  • replies: 6

My ex-wife and I are trying to negotiate what's fair for our kids with their time with each parent. We have consent orders in place but so much has changed in our circumstances that it's not really applicable now. To make matters worse she is refusin... View more

My ex-wife and I are trying to negotiate what's fair for our kids with their time with each parent. We have consent orders in place but so much has changed in our circumstances that it's not really applicable now. To make matters worse she is refusing to budge on her stance and I have made proposals and compromises as to what I believe is best for the kids. She refuses to go to mediation to sort it out and I don't have the time, money or energy to go through Court. At the moment I see the kids every Sunday for the day but they are desperate to have sleep overs at my place and I have to keep telling them "Mum and Dad are working on it". I feel like I am breaking inside, giving up to her unreasonable proposals.

Jimmuck what to do ??..
  • replies: 11

hi all, i am 63 years old and still working 6 or 7 days a week to pay the bills, we have a mortgage that i will be long passed away before it is paid off, we had the house built, so i have labored long and hard landscaping the front and back, as well... View more

hi all, i am 63 years old and still working 6 or 7 days a week to pay the bills, we have a mortgage that i will be long passed away before it is paid off, we had the house built, so i have labored long and hard landscaping the front and back, as well a lot of interior work, but no matter what i say or how i say it the house inside and out is awful. my wife wanted lawns and gardens but does nothing to them, the two spare bedrooms are full of her junk, the pergola i built is not usable because it is full of junk, if i say anything it leads to an argument. she always tries to impress people and wants to seem indispensable to them, regardless of how it affects me. so far it has cost us a lot of money in lawyer fees when somebody tried to sue her and myself personally 15 thousand dollars for an insurance claim, because she didnt renew the policy. that is just some of the serious problems over the years. whilst i can fully accept i am in the wrong sometimes, it is impossible for her to even consider that she could be remotely wrong, when i say so cries to anyone who will listen,she just lies to everyone to gain their sympathy , what is really sad for our relationship is she cannot even tell her own self the truth,on one occasion, after i was driven to seek help from a counselor, she was asked to come along to a session to support me, all she did was sit there crying about how bad her life was.i have asked her many times to stop keeping all our money in an account in her name only, but she still does. so the latest event sparked by my asking her something three times and being completely ignored each time, which led to me getting angry and her, as usual, running away to hide. that was over two weeks ago, since then we have not said a single word to each other, NOT ONE WORD. i have stood by her through a lot of serious things,right now i feel like i am just taken for granted, right at this moment she is on a boat helping to organize a firework display when she should be here at home least trying to talk about our problems, i dont want to leave my house that i have put so much hard work into, i cant leave anyway as i dont have the money to do so.. i feel so trapped, i cant leave and cant stay here living like this, i am at my wits end, but she just will not accept any responsibility whatsoever in what goes wrong in our marriage, it is completely one sided,i have absolutely no one to talk to here as i have no family and i have allowed my friends to drift away..

Jacobi1911 Forming connections with others
  • replies: 8

Good evening, Recently i have been longing to form a close relationship with someone But have been unable to feel a connection. While others say i havent given Enough time i think its something else. I feel as if i dont have a close connection with a... View more

Good evening, Recently i have been longing to form a close relationship with someone But have been unable to feel a connection. While others say i havent given Enough time i think its something else. I feel as if i dont have a close connection with anyone or anything even though I crave it. I feel this is a subconscious thing my mind has decided to do As a defence mechanism from being scamed out of half of what y oiu own which Has happened to some of the people around me. I need to break this i desparately want to feel a connection to someone based of somthing other than physical attraction. The point of this post is to ask for help, im not sure where to go to, or who to contact about this issue.

Anonymous999 Feeling alone and helpless
  • replies: 1

I’m not very good at explaining this well, so here we go: 2 years ago my struggles with an eating disorder began and it ruined all of my friendships and stopped me from participating in my sport which is my favourite thing in the entire world. It has... View more

I’m not very good at explaining this well, so here we go: 2 years ago my struggles with an eating disorder began and it ruined all of my friendships and stopped me from participating in my sport which is my favourite thing in the entire world. It has taken 2 years to finally gain a healthy relationship with food but I still can’t compete in my sport which is so hard to watch everyone else excel whilst I’ve been stuck on the sidelines for years. I graduated high school 2 years ago and have not spoken to my old ‘friends’ ever since because a lot went on and I wasn’t treated well by anyone. So much has gone on in the last couple of years and I have just been stuck in such a dark place and am really struggling to move on from all the things that occurred because I still can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had no one to help me through that time and still have no one. Every time I open up to someone (which is so so so hard to do) I get left on read and never spoken to again. I feel so alone and helpless and really don’t know what to do. I just want someone to love me and make me feel like I belong in this world, but no one understands me even takes the time to understand me.

Jojosdrowning Watching the man I love fade away.
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have been with my partner for 4yrs. The most caring supportive man I've ever meet and a love I never knew possible. Very amicable with our exs. We have a lot to do with them as we share 5 kids between us. This changed with his ex unexpectedly 3... View more

Hi, I have been with my partner for 4yrs. The most caring supportive man I've ever meet and a love I never knew possible. Very amicable with our exs. We have a lot to do with them as we share 5 kids between us. This changed with his ex unexpectedly 3 months My partner still owed $ from their settlement which they had agreed payment over 10yrs. Its been 6 yrs and she started to demand the last lump sum. She said she made some misteaks with her money. We had to go to bank to borrow but said we'd get to her Asap. We borrowed $ of parents to give give a lump sum to get her through while waiting on bank. Then emails started. Demands and threats of getting dhs, police, cps and lawyers involvin. Then her taking a domestic violents AVO. She made change with child support to have 100% custody stating kids didn't want to see him. They just finished a 3month stay with us while she was in hospital. Everything went Great. Long story short she did put out an AVO. We were not contacted by any departments, and were so supprised by this all. We were working on the money, she knew that and we have no idea how and why its all lead to this. His now the most broken man I know. He can't see his children which is destroying him and the AVO is nothing but a false claim. We've had to fork out $ for legal advise who said its not worth fighting the AVO as long as he abides by it without admissions. It won't affect him legally. The kids call, missing him and wanting to c him. But no she has an AVO. His just beside himself. I worry so much for him. His such a strong, gentle, caring man and she's destroyed him and his relationship with his kids.He worries they have no idea whats going on. Due to AVO though he can't do or say anything! Im sorry for the long post, I needed to get this out. After investigating and speaking to people this kind of thing happens alot. It kills me to see people put others through this kind of thing and for what!? It happens to both women and men. And is a massive issue that plays on peoples mental health. What can I do? I feel so helpless. I'm watching the man I love slowly dying inside for lies, manipulation and money. Thats what it seems like. His ex has affected so many others within the family because it's not just about her and her issues with him all of a sudden. It affects so many more. We trying to see physiologist but so far there's months waiting lists and legal fees continue to climb. Open to any advice or suggestions! Thanks for reading.

Debbie2021 Advice needed
  • replies: 2

Hi all I am over 50 and divorced 5 years ago. Not interested in dating until recently.. super happy and love my life. ... very very positive person snd happy in my own space. I have been dating a man for 3 months. Very deep person (unlike me) and hav... View more

Hi all I am over 50 and divorced 5 years ago. Not interested in dating until recently.. super happy and love my life. ... very very positive person snd happy in my own space. I have been dating a man for 3 months. Very deep person (unlike me) and have such a connection and fallen in love feeling lucky but cautious. tonight I find out by accident (long story) that he is on medication for anxiety and depression. He hadn’t shared that. Such a deep connection that I want to pursue... but looking for our advice Please share your experiences.

Girlfriend_to_a_cop My boyfriend is new to the police force
  • replies: 4

I am 21y/0 female, my boyfriend has just joined the police force. For about 5 years I have struggled with depression and anxiety, my partner struggles from mild anxiety. I have concerns about him being a cop just like I have concerns about most thing... View more

I am 21y/0 female, my boyfriend has just joined the police force. For about 5 years I have struggled with depression and anxiety, my partner struggles from mild anxiety. I have concerns about him being a cop just like I have concerns about most things, I have read many articles and the book “Emotionsl survival for law enforcement” an excellent book I might add. I am looking for pre assistance into understanding what he will be seeing and how he is going to cope in the work force, with shift work and the trauma that police officers face daily. I know it might be a few years before he sees anything traumatising or that will give him PTSD, but I want to be prepared. Is there any way I can prepare for the future? Thank you in advanced.

DaniellaM Struggling to cope after relationship ending
  • replies: 2

Hi all, this is my first time posting here. Just a couple of days ago, my boyfriend of almost 3 years decided to end the relationship. He told me that he loves me dearly as a person, but is no longer in love with me. I am really struggling to accept ... View more

Hi all, this is my first time posting here. Just a couple of days ago, my boyfriend of almost 3 years decided to end the relationship. He told me that he loves me dearly as a person, but is no longer in love with me. I am really struggling to accept that it is over and I will most likely never see him again. This was my first long term and serious relationship, and being alone all of a sudden is proving harder to manage than I thought. As of right now, I can barely eat or leave my bed and do not have the motivation to return to work. I feel as though my life has fallen apart, as he was the most important thing to me and helped me so much with my mental health. I am also struggling severely with feelings of guilt and shame, as I was unloyal to him in the earlier stages of the relationship. He found out and immediately wanted to end it, but I begged and pleaded for him to give me another chance. I said I wanted to change and fix things (which was not a lie and I was never unfaithful again after those incidents). He told me when he broke up with me that he forgives me for everything that I did, but was never able to move on within himself. However, I'm very confused as to why he chose to end the relationship now, almost 2 years after what happened. Was he not in love with me all this time and just pretending because he didn't want to hurt me? I struggle to believe that he didn't have feelings for me, as up to only just a couple of weeks ago he was making a regular effort to see me, showing affection and telling me he loved me. I just need some advice. I am in strong denial right now and can't stop thinking about the possibility of him changing his mind and coming back to me. But I also know that getting my hopes up like that remove all chances of me accepting it and moving on. What should I do?