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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Wanderlust123 Estranged family relationship
  • replies: 2

Hi there, I have been estranged from my father for several years. We have never had a bad relationship, in fact we had a fantastic relationship when I was a child, however it slowly fizzled out as a teenager and now as an adult we do not talk. I do n... View more

Hi there, I have been estranged from my father for several years. We have never had a bad relationship, in fact we had a fantastic relationship when I was a child, however it slowly fizzled out as a teenager and now as an adult we do not talk. I do not recall an exact moment that lead to us to being estranged, and for years I struggled with how this happened and blamed myself that I didn't try hard enough, but later I came to tell myself it was not my fault because I was a child in all this as a way of coping and went about my life. However, today I gained a new perspective. I decided to open old messages and realised on multiple occasions over the past several years he had reached out to catch up, however I had ignored these messages. This might sound strange, but I do not remember this happening. I had been telling myself that he was not making an effort for all these years but today I realised he was - it has completely shaken me and made me feel awful. I fear I am entering the cycle of blaming myself again for our non-existent relationship. I'm not sure what to do now. At first I wanted to reach out, but upon pondering it more, the thought seems so scary and brings up so many emotions. I worry that I am not ready and will not be able to sustain the energy to build the relationship, as I've tried this in the past and it had fizzled out. At the same time I'm fearing rejection that he may not wish to give the relationship another go. What should I do? I feel like I need to work through some emotions surrounding this, especially as this relationship has been impacted by my parent's divorce and new family units. I have never been to a therapist/counselling and I'm not sure if that is the best solution for me. I have found reading books written by psychologists helpful in the past, and feel reading other people's similar situations may help too. Looking for suggestions on what action to take next, and any recommended reading material. Thanks

Strugglingmum88 New mum reaching out for help,advise,and to talk
  • replies: 2

Hi I don't know if this is the right place to reach out for help but I hope it is I am a 1st time mum I have been with my partner for around 10years we struggled alot with falling pregnant I had several misscarragies. We went through IVF And we were ... View more

Hi I don't know if this is the right place to reach out for help but I hope it is I am a 1st time mum I have been with my partner for around 10years we struggled alot with falling pregnant I had several misscarragies. We went through IVF And we were successful our 1st time. I now have a 4 month old son please don't get me wrong I LOVE My son more then anything in this world.. but I feel alone ! I cry sometimes for no reason. My partner doesn't understand. I don't feel as connected with my son as I think I should be. Please is there any mums that can relate who are happy to talk to me.

Pringlelover24 I miss my ex so much
  • replies: 7

hi, almost a year ago I cheated on my boyfriend of about 1.5 years. It was the worst mistake of my life and I lost everything along with my boyfriend. I take full responsibility for my actions as well. I moved away for college and tried to make new f... View more

hi, almost a year ago I cheated on my boyfriend of about 1.5 years. It was the worst mistake of my life and I lost everything along with my boyfriend. I take full responsibility for my actions as well. I moved away for college and tried to make new friends but to no avail. I had some pretty terrible stuff happen to me when I moved away and I can’t help but think none of this would have happened if I didn’t cheat. I met a guy in my new town and we connected, after only knowing each other for about 2 weeks in person, he moved into my family home. We fight everyday about the silliest things. My dad has noticed we fight and doesn’t like my boyfriend. My old boyfriend constantly pops into my mind. We never fought like this, we were best friends and I loved him so much. I think I still do. I haven’t spoken to him since we broke up and our old friend group banished me as well. There’s so much I miss, his family was like my family and I miss them too. He is so angry at me over what happened and I get that because I broke his heart. I just want him back but idk if I should try and reach out to him. I doubt he will be happy to hear from me but my heart literally hurts when I think about him. does anyone have any advice?

memory_lane can someone please shed some light?
  • replies: 9

Hi all, I am new to this. I am really anxious on posting this. This is complicated as I really need to have another perspective. I met my partner and been together for nearly 4 years while we both are separated from our previous marriages. We are ver... View more

Hi all, I am new to this. I am really anxious on posting this. This is complicated as I really need to have another perspective. I met my partner and been together for nearly 4 years while we both are separated from our previous marriages. We are very happy together and is serious about our relationship. We kept our relationship under the lid as we are going through our own divorces process. He has introduced me to his closest cousins. Our current situations are: he is living with his parents and going back to fix it up so that they can put it on the market and he stay over there every now and then to look his children. Whilst, my ex-husband and I are separated under the same roof and sorting out our settlement. We both have two teenage children. Until things started to change during the pandemic, we could not see each other for 4mnths due to the lockdown. The lockdown has been really hard. He had started to take some anti-depressants and he is consistently flat and shut down. Now, I just feel like I am the only one who has been open about what is happening at my end right now and not so much on his side. He has become very negative about everything. I am worried and anxious as I have fallen very much in love with him. I am not sure if I am over-reacting or I am just insecure?

Elsam Two lovers
  • replies: 2

I recently become separated from my husband and am going through divorce. I have met the nicest gentle kind guy, he is tall, hot and sexy in my eyes. I feel he is head over heels for me but not sure I feel the same. He is talking about a future but n... View more

I recently become separated from my husband and am going through divorce. I have met the nicest gentle kind guy, he is tall, hot and sexy in my eyes. I feel he is head over heels for me but not sure I feel the same. He is talking about a future but not sure I feel the same. I do really like him and we have been intimate but I just don’t seem to have that ecstatic butterfly feeling, maybe it will grow as we have only just started seeing each other. My biggest dilemma is I am totally in love with a guy overseas and we have not met yet. I do want to continue seeing the guy I am dating but at the same time do not want to lead him on and break his heart. I do not want to lose him at the same time just in case I never get to meet the guy I am really head over heels in love with, totally smitten and in love with him even though we have not met. What do I do? I feel myself holding back with this guy and ruining the experience with him because the love of my life is always on my mind. Help ???

PorkyPig19 I can’t stand my family
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone living In my house with my family is becoming unbearable!! I work around here on egg shells, my anxiety and depression are at an all time high. Im ringing to make an appointment with my counsellor for ASAP. I feel like I’m going crazy.

Hi everyone living In my house with my family is becoming unbearable!! I work around here on egg shells, my anxiety and depression are at an all time high. Im ringing to make an appointment with my counsellor for ASAP. I feel like I’m going crazy.

Overitt how long for a broken heart to heal
  • replies: 4

my one and only man in my life who been with for 14 years married for 11 he was my first, we have 4 kids together still young, and he decided he isn't happy anymore doesn't love me and is leaving, im heartbroken, I have plenty of support people aroun... View more

my one and only man in my life who been with for 14 years married for 11 he was my first, we have 4 kids together still young, and he decided he isn't happy anymore doesn't love me and is leaving, im heartbroken, I have plenty of support people around me family ect but I just cant stop crying im devastated, I love him so so much it hurts, I put on a fake front for my kids as we agreed to sit with them and talk to them I never want them to see me fall but im absolutely falling apart, how long will this be and I know time will heal but im just so lost

Jrc2021 He said he loved me but still left
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend of almost 2 years said he felt like he won the lotto with me and I was the only one for him. I believed him. He was struggling with depression being cooped up in our small town and so I suggested he get a job in a bigger town for a few m... View more

My boyfriend of almost 2 years said he felt like he won the lotto with me and I was the only one for him. I believed him. He was struggling with depression being cooped up in our small town and so I suggested he get a job in a bigger town for a few months. A month after he left he spoke about wanting to travel and work and that he was the happiest he’s ever been without me so we decided to break up. I’m devastated and hurt, how do I get through this?

Amore84 Depression, son with disabilities
  • replies: 6

Hi My son is 3 and has disabilities. There is no diagnosis for him & we don't know if he will ever walk or talk. I never knew there were so many ways to have your heart broken. It's particularly hard when we see him with other 3 year olds & see how d... View more

Hi My son is 3 and has disabilities. There is no diagnosis for him & we don't know if he will ever walk or talk. I never knew there were so many ways to have your heart broken. It's particularly hard when we see him with other 3 year olds & see how different he is. I love him with all of my heart but my heart is equally broken. I try to stay enlightened, he is happy & healthy otherwise. All the Drs know is that he had hypomylination but they can't find a disease that caused it. He improves each day & we are hopeful. Anyway I just wanted to share that I have this sinking feeling every day. I've never had depression before. But it seems like this is it. Its just this sinking feeling that never goes away. Its there when I wake up and all day. I used to wake up with excited butterflies if I had a fun day planned. Now I wake up and have to look through the sinking feeling to conceptualise the day ahead but I don't feel the excitement and life force I used to feel. I feel like im faking happiness when I interact with people they way they expect, a way that reflects my bubbly personality. But I don't feel how I'm acting. The uncertainty & grief for the life we thought we would have weighs heavy. The worry that our beautiful darling won't ever be able to walk to the water at the beach or know what its like to have a friend breaks my heart. This is my story.

Bowie111319 How do I keep going?!
  • replies: 7

Hi This is a first for me so please bare with me... I am a 38yo mum of 3 kids aged 9, 6 & 18mths, my kids mean the absolute world to me and my whole life revolves around them. I love being a mum! My husband and I have been married 12yrs but honestly ... View more

Hi This is a first for me so please bare with me... I am a 38yo mum of 3 kids aged 9, 6 & 18mths, my kids mean the absolute world to me and my whole life revolves around them. I love being a mum! My husband and I have been married 12yrs but honestly since I gave birth to my first I have literally done everything for the kids on my own. We have always had family of both sides close by but never a helping hand from anyone. Lately my marriage has gotten to a place where all I’m doing is screaming and yelling on a daily basis, add to that begging for help & conversation from my husband, but he doesn’t want a bar of it...so I thought to post here hoping someone can help. I am past sad and just constantly furious and in the last 2years my anxiety has increased tremendously. My husband doesn’t help me physically or emotionally, it started when our first 2 kids were little but because I was so busy I didn’t pull him up about why he was never present, I just went about everyday raising, playing, teaching, entertaining & caring for our kids, on top of that I have always made myself available to my husband, family & friends. The day I gave birth to my first I gave up absolutely everything to be a mum so in the last 9yrs I haven’t had any “me” time. I have over the years tried to explain how lonely & sad I am but he just looks at me blankly with no comment or just makes a joke of it. Everyone has always thought highly of him and I’ve always been labeled the “ball breaker”, not sure why as I’ve done everything for our family in the best way possible. No one knows the rubbish my husband has put me through or how poorly he treats me, however like a good wife I have always had his back & kept my mouth shut. He knows I’ve cried myself to sleep many many times but he doesn’t seem to care. I can bring up my feelings about something many times but I get nothing back, even a daily conversation from him is hard. I’ve noticed now that the kids don’t have much respect for him and they come to me for EVERYTHING, he says that makes him sad but I don’t see him doing anything to make this better. Some might say he’s had it too good for so long and it’s hard for him to change. I’ve come to a point now where I’m constantly miserable and the kids can see it. I don’t think there’s any getting through to him as he thinks old fashioned & jokes that women should keep their mouths shut, funny as he was not raised with that thinking. I can’t keep going like this. I don’t know what to do.