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All starting to get too much.

Community Member

So I've been having a few issues as of late with my family. Mum, sister and myself had a big argument a few weeks back resulting in my mum leaving a staying at their holiday place. I have sorted things out with my sister and we're back on good terms. Mum and sister still arent talking making things awkward for the family. Dad is upset, and keeps asking me to get my mother and sister talking (according to the family, im the only one that can get my mum to come around). This isnt the first time my sister has caused an argument. She has her own issues that she needs to deal with, but apparently after being tested for mental disorders a few years back, its all behavioural.

I've been feeling a lot of pressure as ive been trying to speak to my mum but every time I do, she just cries and says she is done. She isnt happy about the fact im talking with my sister again. Dad is just upset and wants the family back together, which I can't seem to help with and its making me feel guilty.

I've also got a husband and two boys, 3 and 1 (also 18 weeks pregnant). The boys are quite the handful, but I completely expected it being toddlers. My husband doesnt seem to handle them very well as gets angry / frustrated very easily. Over the weekend, after working 7 days straight, we were at my sisters having dinner. Eldest started to fall asleep so we knew we should get him dressed in his pjs and head home. He threw a tantrum and would get changed, started screaming and kept trying to take his pjs back off. This isnt exactly unusual and i just put it down to the fact that he was way overtired, hadnt napped that day. I was trying to dress him and didnt respond to his tantrum as i was exhausted myself so just got on with getting the job done. Husband came in, started yelling and swearing, tried to hold him down to dress him. I grabbed my son and ran to another room crying.

Not the first time husband has lashed out when he is frustrated. We've spoken about it before but he just apologises and says he is trying. He's good for a few weeks then has another outburst, resulting in another argument. I'm not scared that he will ever hurt the kids or myself, just can handle the fights and emotional side of it all. I havent spoke to him since the incident but i hate fighting in front of the kids.

I dont know what to do. Im just really sad at everything and want to burst out crying all the time. Also freaking out that all the stress isnt good for the baby.

Any advice?

3 Replies 3

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi there

Pregnancy can be tiring and emotional anyway, without all that going on. You have a lot you're dealing with, and people are putting extra pressure on you that you probably don't need right now. Do you think you'd feel comfortable having conversations with the relevant people to voice the impact that it's having on you? Sometimes we humans can be a bit selfish and not think about how our actions impact others, until we get told flat out 🙂

Apart from that I wonder if you're able to do some nice things to treat yourself and support your mental health during this time? Whatever works for you - walking? Catching up with friends? I like meditation and mindfulness too - they're nice and safe and supportive activities that can have a positive effect on our mental health.

Talk more here if it helps. Take care, Katy

Hi Stance, 

It sounds like you are having a really tough time at the moment. Family life can be incredibly tough, especially when there are young children involved as well. We are really sorry that you are feeling really down right now. We want to thank you for being so brave and coming to the forums for support - it is a great step to take. 

There are some great conversations in this section of the forums and we recommend having a look around and joining some conversations if you want to.

It also sounds like you might benefit from speaking to someone about how you are feeling. You can always call BeyondBlue on 1300 22 4636 for a chat with one of our friendly counsellors. 

Thank you again for joining the community.

Kind regards, 
Sophie M

Community Champion
Community Champion

Stance congratulations on being pregnant a d having two delightful boys.

Some adults get impatient with toddlers. My partner used to complain if our children threw a tantrum and blamed me.

As you know the best thing to do with a toddler is to be patient and understand I g.

Maybe when your husband is playing with the boys or interacting in a positive way you can say something encouraging so he gets positive feedback. .
is there a way you can get some support.

You need to make your health both physical and emotional health a priority.
can you ask your parents to maybe mind your boys for an hour or two so you can rest.

look after yourself.