I struggle with friendships and just relationships in general. I never feel that I can trust people and I am constantly paranoid and afraid that they will abandon me, so I'm terrified of making a single mistake or opening up to people. Recently, a person who hurt me incredibly deeply for a number of years has come back into my life and infiltrated almost every network of relationships that I had. The problem is that I was told by my psychologist that I need to open up to people to help set boundaries because this person never listens or acknowledges when I'm upset by their actions. But I'm horrifically non confrontational and the idea of this is nauseating to me. I feel all alone, I feel suffocated and trapped but at the same time I feel so far away from everyone I care about. I feel like I need to leave and find new friends, but it feels like I'm running away from my problems. I just wish that I could trust the people around me to put me first, to care about me, to support me and look out for me, but I can't and I don't, I don't think they would stand by me.
