Advice on moodiness..

[Medicated_and_moody]

Hi all, new to the forums. 35, female, mother to 2.

Recently came off my antidepressant around 2 months ago on advice from psychiatrist and GP as I started taking medication for ADHD. 

ADHD medication has been lifechanging for my adhd symptoms, but I'm now feeling extremely depressed. I'm moody, irritable, snappy and nasty. I have no tolerance for anything or anyone and it's affecting my relationships with my closest family members (partner, parents, children).

I'm wondering if this is common, and how others cope, or if I should just go back on the antidepressants and take the ADHD medication as necessary..

I'm feeling extremely low, with a lot of self deprecating thoughts. My behaviour has caused my mum to recently distance herself from me as she has limited capacity to deal with how aggressive, negative and argumentative I'm being. We are very close generally and she is my confidant, sounding board, and rock, so this is difficult to deal with.

I can't see my gp until 1/12, and I'm feeling at a loss. Sorry if this is not the right way to share or ask for support.. any advice or help is hugely appreciated. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Yes, this is the right place.  In 2004 I was incorrectly diagnosed with ADHD. 6 years later after trying about 12 medications, none of which worked, I was re-diagnosed with bipolar, depression and dysthymia. So I have a little knowledge on what you have been enduring.

Unfortunately some medications for ADHD and depression can cause issues if taken together as the manic side of ADHD (which I have with one side of bipolar hence the assumption I had ADHD) can become worse. Talk to your professional about that.

Sleep is so important and usually underrated. Try going to bed an hour earlier or an arvo nanny nap- you'll be better off for it.

Becoming stable on any medication often takes a few months so this last 2 months would have been hard to tolerate and likely responsible for mood swings, I know I was until I found the right medication for me and there is several your professional can administer to you so persist until you find your favourite one. Most of them in my own experience will make you tired and especially anti depressants. 

During this time of instability you could ask your mother to remain a little distant as you feel the turmoil is causing inter relationship problems. You could ask her to read this also from someone that has gone through the medication spinning effect.

You would do yourself a favour by accepting that very few people have the level of empathy required to tolerate those with mental health issues. It is like an astronaut explaining how space walking felt like. Very few people get it. Hence the benefit of this 24/7/365 forum, post then wait for someone to go online to answer. Just posting can relieve some of your tension and this is a very caring community.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/they-just-wont-understand-why/td-...

BTW, you might want to know where ADHD originated from? Back in the caveman days when cooking for his/her clan, other people would steal their food or cause them harm, even animals could do that. Some people were canary in action, always looking behind them to protect their broth so to speak. Hence ADHD slowly developed like a hyped up anxiety that caused some burnout leading to depression. Therefore, some mental health issues have a natural origin. My mania for example from one side of bipolar, caused me to work like a beaver when young (I'm 67yo), walk fast, trip over often (yes mania can cause you to be accident prone), put foot in mouth as I'd talk before thinking and heaps of other issues like financial irresponsibility. 

Which ADHD one have you been diagnosed with?

I hope I've helped. Reply anytime

TonyWK

[therising]

Hi Medicated_and_moody

I'm so glad for you that the ADHD medication has made such a positive difference while also feeling so deeply for you in regard to the incredible struggle you're facing at the same time. All the mixed emotions must feel so tormenting and overwhelming.

While I'm a gal who likes to look at things from 3 different angles

• I imagine the mental or psychological angle comes with a lot of challenges including inner dialogue, certain belief systems that lead you to think and feel the way you do etc
• I imagine the physical or biological/chemical aspects that lead you to think and feel the way you do also present challenges. Finding the perfect chemistry with which to manage self and life can feel like a kind of Goldilocks experience (too much, too little, just right)
• The 3rd aspect is I suppose what you could call 'natural'. In some ways, this aspect involves getting a sense of or a feel for emotion. If emotion is basically energy in motion, the questions become 'What is this energy (naming it), what's it doing (how does it feel and how does it move through me or feel stuck) and what's it trying to tell me (if it's a telling kind of emotion)?'

The 3rd aspect can be a complex one, especially if you're a high level 'feeler'. Sometimes it's a matter of not just feeling your own emotion but other people's too. So, it becomes a matter of taking on other people's anger or sadness or hyperactivity, stress or anxiety and feeling it, on top of feeling all your own stuff. Can be hard to separate the two. Definitely a challenge for the nervous system at times. Being able to precisely name an emotion is something that can be helpful. So, instead of saying 'I feel anger working up in me' it becomes 'I can feel/sense extreme intolerance, frustration or injustice working up in me, which feels enraging'. With sensitivity involving the ability to sense, it becomes a matter of 'What am I sensing here?'. Mixed emotions would have to be the toughest to work with, sensing so much all at once. Without anyone to help pull all that apart, leading us to make greater of sense of it all, it can feel like such a lonely and sometimes unbearable experience. Hard to be doing all that stuff on our own without a really solid guide. With your mum sounding like one of your key guides in life, completely understandable why you're feeling so challenged by all this.

[Medicated_and_moody]

Thanks so much for your reply Tony, I really do appreciate you taking the time.

I made the decision today to stop taking the adhd meds and go back on the antidepressants for now - an attempt to take myself back to a baseline where I most recently felt 'normal' was the best solution I could come up with until I can speak to someone.

I've been diagnosed with combined type, though with more (all) inattentive symptoms. My hyperactivity symptoms tend to manifest internally, with a crippling inability to stay any impulsive and intrusive thoughts. 

Posting on here, and reading through the supportive comments in other threads has already been incredibly comforting. I've decided to get back into journalling too - outsourcing the spiralling thoughts can only be a good thing.

Thanks for your information Tony - I got stuck into the thread you shared, and I'm sure I'll find quite a lot of useful I formation in the topics you've covered in your time here.

Look forward to staying in touch.

Take care 🙂 

[Medicated_and_moody]

Hi therising, 

Thanks for your reply, that definitely sums up a lot of my feelings. 

That's exactly what's happening I think. It's become difficult for me and my mum to have any conversations around my mental health as I have so much difficulty understanding how I'm feeling, it's impossible for me to convey it to her and therefore for her to even begin to understand..  as difficult as it's been for me, I can completely understand why it's so hard for her too. She's always been the one to help me fix my problems, but this is so far beyond her capabilities, it's unfair to expect her to be able to 'fix' this when I can't even comprehend it myself.. 

It certainly is isolating. It's frightening and I don't know if any of the decisions I'm making in relation to medication are right or wrong. 

From what I've read, it would seem this medication journey is one quite a few of us share in. Reading the forums, as I mentioned in my reply to Tony, has already been a source of comfort. Just knowing I'm not alone in my experiences.

Thanks again for your reply 😊 

[therising]

Hi Medicated_and_moody

Can't help but wonder what kind of ADHD you've been diagnosed with and how the medication impacts that. Say, for example, if it's the hyperactive type and you absolutely love feeling your hyperactivity to some degree (if it leads you to feel life running through you in incredible ways), if the volume's been turned down on that I can imagine it to feel upsetting. Sometimes volume can equal dosage when it comes to medication, so maybe it's a matter of getting the dosage right to the point where the dosage is lowered so you can feel more alive. Of course, should be done under the guidance of whoever prescribed that dosage.

As I say, there's just so much to emotion. There's the speed at which certain emotions escalate, the level of activity or hyperactivity some come with, what triggers certain ones, how some just sit with us and torment us, what leads to a sense of detachment (no energetic connection at all) and the list goes on. Looking at energy from a natural perspective, this is one of the reasons I love researching certain aspects of what's labeled as 'spirituality'. A lot of it covers the behaviour of energy specifically. A fascinating area of spirituality is, believe it or not, is quantum physics. It's said that with every cell in our body vibrating at a certain volume and frequency at sub atomic levels, we can feel the volume and frequency, from extremely high levels (hyperactivity) to extremely low levels (a serious and sometimes depressing lack of energy). Simply put, you can feel your own vibe (overall level and type of cellular vibration). This is where science meets woo woo, an interesting area of research.🙂

[cat-fur-urvrywhere]

Hi friend,

I'm an adhder [34/F/no kids] with depression and anxiety as my 'co-morbidities'. I've been on adhd meds for 3 months now so it's all pretty new to me too.

As you probably know, adhd meds don't cure us they just help you cope with everything happening in your head. When I'm stressed/overwhelmed I can get snappy with my mum too. She is a helpless sort of person, which I think builds stress in me because she's alone and it becomes 'my job' to fix her problems.

Stress and overwhelm are definitely our enemy and because we move so fast we can kind of fly through the warning signs, straight into "Omg can't you figure it out yourself, just leave me alone!?". 

I would highly recommend this book that came out recently 'The Year I Met My Brain' by Matilda Boseley, it's really helping me learn how to cope with adhd. I'm listening to it on Audible because.. adhd, haha.

What did your doctor say when you got to see them?
Hope you're doing well. xx