Advice and help

[Philip_b]

Hi guys
Having a few problems in my life atm start I been told I had depression now for 2 years and never new I had it. But now I been told about it a lot of things make sense to me. I nearly die in Jan with bad phenomenal and had to spend 4 days in I/C but now been told I could have diabetes from it now. And my wife separate from me and think this is just a excuse all so found out I could have A.D.D. So you can see March was not a very good month for me. I all so work away FIFO so it pretty lonely for me now as I have no family or friends here in my wife country. She said she hates the person I become and so do I but I never new I become this person which is the hardest thing to take in. We have 2 boys 5 and 6 years old and I have admit my problem and getting help and opening up about it. She says she want to do family things together but won't open up at all closed down completely and won't even speak with her mum and dad who live 10 mins away from us. She very hot and cold and leaves day by day she can't even look me in the eyes or talk to me properly without getting angry and runs away.and says it not worth trying even for the kids sake which I think we should at least try and so does everyone else we don't have much to lose if we do try at least we could try and save are friendship. Not sure what I should do I feel like packing up and moving back to the u. K and be around people who care on this dark path I'm on atm.And being away and not talking is killing me inside her parents understand my ruff time real unsure on what to do as I do care for her but she says she don't care for me but I can still see it in her but she won't open up and just given up without balking or making any plans she spending money like water and not thinking about anything not even talking kids into all this I know she tired as are oldest son has adhd and hard work but she so angry about everything lately and negative been her parents say that and told me to give it time sort myself out first but so hard as I can still see a future for us as I know my problem but she won't admit her problems

[Doolhof]

Hi Philip B,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and to the community here. Hope you don't mind if I ask you a few questions: are you receiving any help for your depression? Has your Dr. recommended you take any medication or to talk to a counsellor about how you are feeling?

Have you read anything about depression? Here on this site there is a lot of helpful information to help you understand what you are experiencing. You can also use the phone help line 1300 22 4636. The people answering the phone will be able to listen to you and offer advice.

Regarding your wife, we can not make other people do things we think they should be doing or make them admit to problems we think they have.

Right now I think you need to work out what you require to help make yourself better for yourself. You can support your wife and children as well.

Relationships are not always easy. Both my husband and I have depression and other issues, so I know what it is like to be in a situation where there are a few problems.

Regarding your wife's spending, and this may be none of my business, but do you have a joint account? You might need to do something about that to ensure yourself and the children are cared for financially.

It may help you if you ask your Dr to recommend where you can get help. Phone Beyond Blue and talk with someone there, and look in your local phonebook to see what services are available in your area.

Hope some of this helps!

From Mrs. Dools