A Rough Breakup
I have recently come out of a rocky relationship where my partner split up with me. We had been dating for eight months, and had so many fun times. Before coming into the relationship, I was aware that my partner was a frequent drug smoker - something that I had never done or been around. When we started dating, his smoking did not bother me. He never pressured me into it, but he was very adamant that he was never going to quit. I tried encouraging him and persuading him with all the negative effects that the drug was having on his body. I never succeeded.
The relationship starting becoming rocky after about three to four months, where my partner would often leave me/cancel plans with me to smoke with his family/friends. It became a common issue and no matter how many times I cried to him or yelled at him about the way he had hurt me, he did not stop. There were a couple of huge blow ups in the relationship during this time where I would threaten to leave him as he was upsetting me so much, but I loved him more than anything and saw so much potential. The only problem was his addiction. In January, my partner did something that hurt me the most - he took a huge amount of a drug that is common at parties/festivals. He did not tell me or anything and when I saw him that night, I cried and yelled at him but he did not seem to have any remorse, until a couple of days later when I told him that I would leave. However, I ended up coming back as he promised me he would never hurt me again. I believed him, but his words did not meet his actions.
In February, we had another blow up, and this was all to do with drugs. He would tell me how "I could never accept him" and that he hoped that I would "find someone who would not drag me through hell" like he did. He ended things then and there, however, the same night he showed up to my house, with gifts saying he regretted his decision.
Fast forward to March, and everything was going smoothly, but he was beginning to smoke more. I was concerned for his health, so I would commonly bring up how his smoking was unacceptable. He did not recognise the impact it was having on me.
After a huge argument, he ended up breaking up with me and I am more than devastated because I want him back in my life more than anything. I begged him to try harder, but he is adamant that he will not come back. It just kills me to think that he chose drugs over me all the time. No matter how much he loves me he will not change.
Hello Chloe Synder, welcome and thanks for posting your thread.
It's always sad when two people who love each other are kept apart by addiction because there can't be any agreement as to what the person admits they need to have, takes over.
There will be times when it's not appropriate for them to, smoke or drink alcohol but they will find ways they can get around this by excuses or pretending to go somewhere they don't.
I'm sorry this has happened to you, but he won't stop until he decides that's what he needs to do, no matter how much love you give him.