A person in my friend group is verbally harassing me and my friends

[AlecA]

Hi all,

So this person used to be my friend until a serious of unfortunate events that occurred, ending our friendship forever, however.. this term he decided that coming back would be the best option. He is verbally harassing all of us from thing from personal stuff to irrelevant issues. I've tried to get help from teachers but the person still is allowed to hang out with us.

Its gotten to a point I don't want to hang out with my only friends, this person is basically draining my self-esteem because the comments keep on coming day-by-day, I can't think of another option, even though it allows me not to be with him, it also means I can't stay with my friends when he is around.

Thank You,

Alec.

[Sea_Turtle]

Hey Alec

you mentioned this term, so I’m assuming your in high school. Sorry if I’ve got that wrong.

high school is tricky. It was tricky for myself too. You said you’ve told teachers but sometimes it really does depend which teacher you tell to get the help your asking for. I’ve worked as a teachers aid and although some teachers are lovely they may not be in the right position to really change anything.

Have you mentioned this to any of your friends. Just how you find this person hard to be around. Some might agree and then at least you could help each other to figure this out. Perhaps a parent, caregiver or role model. I generally think that just being able to talk things through and vent can really help you find your way.

Take care. It’s awesome that you had the courage to reach out on here.

[geoff]

Hello AlecA, this must be awful not only for you, but also your other friends, and there may come a time when he is told by the group that he is not accepted to be in the group, and this may happen in different various ways, such as, when the group is together and see him approaching they decide to disband and meet up somewhere else and is this continually occurs, it might give him the hint.

Perhaps you could suggest this to your friends.

Take care.

Geoff.

[AlecA]

Hi all,

Thanks for your responses. We've tried moving where we meet, he finds out always because he is in the core-class with a few of my friends. I'm in year 8, I've tried to approach the year-coordinator but because said person only has us as "friends". Sadly this person has ADHD, and we all understand this. The year-coordinator is working with said person to try and help him in relationships etc (which I think is great!) but nothing has changed, and you could say things have gotten worse.

Most if not all of my friends don't enjoy his company, I've been talking to my dad to try and help us but we can only contact our year-coordinator, which in our views isn't getting us anywhere. Like yesterday said person physically hurt one of my friends, then continued to call him names and swear at him for 10-20 minutes, we all tried to stop it but said person kept on going until he realised what he is saying would probably hurt him then the person who he is shouting at.

Thankfully yesterday was the end of the term, I've got 2 weeks to recuperate and feel a little more cheered up.

Thank You,

Alec.

[Sophie_M]

Hey AlecA,

Thank you for sharing an update here. We're sorry you've been having a hard time with this, but we're glad you could post here. It's good to hear you've been able to speak about this with the year-coordinator, and talk to your dad about how you've been feeling.

We've closed your other thread on the same issue, so please post any further updates here.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[livi_mivi]

Hey AlecA,

Thank you for your update, I'm sorry to hear you are still experiencing troubles with your ex-friend. It sounds like it is becoming very draining for you and has started to escalate.

I understand that you and your friends were trying your best to incorporate him into your group however, it is concerning that there has been physical and verbal harm directed towards another friend that you all had to witness. Have you discussed organising a meeting with your co-ordinator, friendship group and your ex-friend? If this has escalated and you don't feel comfortable having him around, it might be helpful to discuss how his behaviour is making you feel. It might also be helpful to understand why he is engaging in this behaviour.

I'm sure your co-ordinator is trying the best they can to help this individual out with his struggles so maybe hearing how you are all communicating to one another and giving your friendship group some tips in how to manage too might be helpful?

I hope you can find a resolution to this soon 🙂