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4 months post breakup - still overthinking things

Community Member
My boyfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago. I have significantly improved from the initial anxiety I had been dealing with initially after the break up, and I'm so glad I'm now able to get on with everyday life. I'm very busy at the moment with uni, work and placement - however, thoughts of my past relationship have been on my mind every single day since the breakup. I worry about made up scenarios that may not even happen - I keep thinking, "if he does ask for a second chance, do I want to try again? What if I reject him and then I'm just miserable? What if I take a second chance but then I miss out on meeting someone so much better for me?" These are the questions that go through my head everyday. I'm so scared that no future relationship will make me feel as happy as my previous one. I'm worried I'll get into a relationship but I will still think of my ex constantly. If I'm feeling this much stress, anxiety and sadness over somebody, then surely that means it would not be a good idea to ever go back there if I had the chance. I know deep down I want to move on and one day find somebody else. I just want to know if this is a normal part of breakups - if anyone else has these thoughts.
1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

Yes your thoughts are normal imo.

However, in my own experience dwelling on "what ifs" often needs therapy.

What my therapist taught me is when a what if came into my head, ask myself :is this realistic?

After a while you'll discount the minds possibilities. Time also helps.

Google the following

Beyondblue Topic worry worry worry

Beyondblue Topic do you cry over spilt milk?

I hope that helps