Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

12 wks pregnant, bipolar husband, abortion

Community Member

I don't know what to do. I am 12.5 weeks pregnant. My bipolar husband is currently crashing after a manic 8 days. He says he can't handle the pressure that i am putting him under. He asked me to have an abortion 2 days ago. I told him just now i would go and see a pre-abortion conselling service on monday and now he is saying that he thinks abortion is not the right thing to do. Right now i can't see how our marriage will last. My self esteem has really taken a beating this week because he blames me for a lot of his depression and really verbally attacks every little thing he can.

We already have a toddler and i work for myself in a very stressful and demanding job. I don't know how i would ever provide for two kids by myself. I hate the thought of abortion. I know i couldn't put my baby up for adoption.

OH hasn't worked since december and is getting insurance from his super pending a workers comp claim which he thinks will solve all of our problems. He has grandiose ideas that the claim will be in the millions. I don't know if it will even be accepted.

The pregnancy was accidental, the morning after pill failed and things with OH were good at the time. I was happy for the first few weeks but now i have no idea what to do. My sister lives interstate and parents are overseas so no support network really. I plan on seeing a psychologist early next week.

2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Sparkey8
Welcome to our community of friendly, supportive and caring people. Finding your way here is a great start to helping yourself.
I can understand how your self esteem is at rock bottom. Being verbally attacked is terrible and certainly would impact on how you view yourself. While it maybe your partner's mania or depression talking, people still need respect, love, consideration for the others in their lives. Especially when you've been supportive of him and his illness.
On the one hand I can offer congratulations, however, understand that this isn't easy for you. Taking the step of abortion is really a big decision to make and my heart goes out to you as you work through this. Not very easy at all.
I'm pleased to hear you are going to see a psychologist next week. Talking it through with someone may help to see how you can move forward. It is important to look after yourself and it's great you are doing this.

Just wondering if posting here has helped you at all? No pressure to respond, just if you want to.

Feel free to browse our forums and to join conversations that you relate to.

Kind regards


Community Member
Hi pamela, yes it does help to write everything down. I was told last week that the baby has severe abnormalities so abortion is a necessity. I can get through that. Husband is totally manic again so that's a lot more difficult to deal with. I feel like i would be so much better able to cope if we weren't together.