Undiagnosed PTSD ...

[Tillysmum]

Hi everyone

I'm posting here because I've never really told anyone this before, but I think I might have undiagnosed PTSD.

It all stems from a workplace I was briefly in 2yrs ago. I got there after 4yrs of studying to qualify for the job, but when I got there, the job was not as advertised. I only had 1hr of client contact per fortnight and was given tasks such as going out to buy toilet paper. I was surrounded by colleagues who constantly had a go at me about the fact that they were too busy.

I started to feel depressed. Managers told me I was depressed because I had moved away from my friends. They therefore said I had no insight into my condition

When my so called supervisor, who was in a different town and didn't provide me with a single session of supervision, found out that I have a bipolar diagnosis, he decided that months ago when we met I had been manic (which I wasn't). He hadn't thought to mention anything about this at the tim

After that I was bullied, and treated like crap. I ended up in hospital 3 times in 4 months, including a suicide attempt. I was not allowed to do anything at work and was accused of multiple disciplinary failures which were fabricated by managers.

I was banned from speaking to anyone at work and was told i was not allowed to meet coworkers for coffee outside of work. I was required to act as a receptionist making bookings for coworkers who did not keep their calendars updated and was then berated when I accidentally double booked people.

When I left, I found out that the 'supervisor' had reported me to the board saying I had no insight into my condition. Despite my psychiatrist and GP and the boards own psychiatrist all agreeing that my issue was situational and I was fine to work, I still ended up with conditions being enforced that stopped me from working for 2 years.


Since leaving that workplace, my mental health has been much better and I have not been back to hospital.

I am now allowed to practice again and am just about to start what sounds like a dream job. However the anxiety that this situation might happen again is very high, and I feel like I can't talk to my new workplace about the situation because I found out in the last job that I cannot tell employers about my diagnosis. I still feel like crap every day because of the 2yrs I've just wasted and the injustice of what went on in that workplace,

Sorry for the rant!

[Sophie_M]

Hey Tillysmum, welcome to the Beyond Blue Forums, we're glad to have you here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage. We are so sorry to hear about what happened at your last workplace. We can't imagine how awful and belittling it would have felt to experience this day after day. We want you to know that you are valuable, and we're here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

We hope you know that there is always help available to you. Can we ask if you are you currently receiving mental health support? If not, we would urge that you do seek professional support to help you work through these thoughts that you're experiencing. If you are not sure of how to access mental health support, please contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport

Please check in and let us know how you are whenever you feel up to it.
 

[Tillysmum]

I cannot access any support, as I have to see a board mandated psychologist and GP but if I tell them any of my worries they will likely relay it to the board and take that as evidence that I am unfit to work, whereas in reality not working is what's made me unfit! So I can't tell any of the professionals how I'm feeling for fear of reprisals.

[ecomama]

Dear Tillysmum

Welcome and I'm glad you're here.

It sounds like you've certainly been through the wringer at that workplace. Shocking treatment. In the absence of any apology from any of those people, I'm sorry you went through all of that and you nor anyone deserved that unprofessional & abusive treatment.

I've been through similar at work but really nothing like it at the same time.
But what I can draw parallels to is my knowledge of Family Law and needing to have MH support but to remain "under the radar" so to speak. Indeed my psychologists files were subpoenaed as I suspected they'd be. Fortunately I had left that pscyh long before after "marriage counselling" which was nothing but the psych allowing herself to be used a weapon of harm against me, and indeed my children, by a very dangerous person.
I've sorted that psych out by telling her so afterwards.

SO that brings me to what I DID do. You can seek this out yourself and see how you feel about it.
I contacted Unifam, now known as Uniting. I hope you have no previous affiliations with this group.

But they were truly Godsends during many years of many Courts that would make anyone without PTSD feel extremely stressed and pressured at the least.

I don't really want to go into details about what Unifam DID DO but rest assured, it was to protect and support me and it worked. Everything they did was legal, moral and professional.

I understand you're beginning at a new workplace, do you have more positive views about this new place?
I hope so!

Do you need this placement to complete some part of your training? I'm just trying to see whether there are any other choices of settings for your field.

Best wishes, keep posting if you're up to it.
EM

[smallwolf]

Hi.

Firstly let me echo the sentiments of the initial reply from Sophia.

I would not know whether you have PTSD or not - only a professional would be able to determine that. I would agree you have been treated unfairly. I once mentioned to my psychologist about something I had read on the internet and she told me that was no the case. I was looking for a label I could attach to my feelings.

It's also ok to have a rant here to get something off your chest. Nobody here will judge you. Rather the opposite.

There was an incident (?) In a uni class in an open discussion about Mary had a little lamb. Know that sounds odd. I was accused of being racist. And I was not getting any support. This also occurred at a low point in my life mentally. I mentioned what happened to my psychiatrist. She told me my thoughts were natural. And some people are jerks. I have come to realise that it speaks more about them than you.

Talking about this to someone is helpful. Perhaps you could tell more of your story here. Or speak with friends and family?

I hope you will come back and share more of yourself and I will be here listening.

Tim