Hello Iammental - & no, you are not.
Whether in a relationship or having a night out. if you can't consent it's assault. Someone taking advantage of you when you are not fully aware & able to consent is makes what happened an assault.
I'm so sorry that has happened to you,& that there are so many unanswered questions about the incident.
1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) is for you, too. The people there are very experienced with helping people who have been sexually assaulted.
With all the troubling thoughts, & conflicted feelings you have, I'd also suggest talking to your GP, & asking for a mental health care plan, to see someone you can talk to about how you feel & deal with this. You don't have to go into all the details with the GP, if you don't feel able, or comfortable doing that. You could write something, or take a screen shot of what you wrote here, to sho them, instead.
You are welcome to continue to talk here, or to call BB's counsellors or use the Online Chat (see below, at he the end of this page), too.
It's tough going through this alone. You are not alone, so you don't have to.
These forums can be a little slow in responding. I'm sorry it took me until tonight to see your post.
& it seems a really good idea to keep away from the smoke that might cause problems like seizures - that sounds scary in itself.
Hugzies
mmMekitty
