Struggling with PTSD from sexual abuse, attempting to find solution to nightmares

josh123456475 · ‎21-03-2018

I was sexually abused at school and bullied horrendously, im now 19 and this all happened when i was 13-15. I started working in the health sector and had something trigger my PTSD. I am seeing a pshycologist and on anti depressants but it hasn't done anything. I can't sleep at night due to nightmares, I have trouble leaving the house during the day due to anxiety. I have been told for the last 4-5 years by all my medical professionals and parents that its going to get better however if anything it has only gotten worse.

When i reproted it to the school they just pretended it didnt happen and covered it up. Does anyone have any suggestions on getting to sleep or getting over nightmares, I was looking at the possibility of a service dog, but dont know what to do.

PamelaR · ‎21-03-2018

Hello Josh

Welcome to BeyondBlue forums. You'll find many people respond to your post to provide support and assistance.

From my own experience, I can say that, knowing what happened to you as a child/teenager maybe good. I don't know though. My memory was blacked out for about 50 years. My behaviours during those years were difficult, though I sought out assistance from psychologists to help me manage my 'anger'. One psychologist said -' you're lucky you didn't remember. Your mind and body helped you survive.' However, I sometimes think that my emotions and feelings impacted on my ability to progress in my career.

What I need to address from your post is - sexual abuse and bullying at your school. Most states of Australia now have legislative requirements that schools must have a process in place for reporting sexual abuse and a policy (plus procedures) for bullying. I expect you can go to the website of your state's education department to see what these requirements are. I'm sure a complaint about 'no response' by the school can be reported, along with a complaint about the bullying and sexual abuse.

Sexual abuse and bullying is no longer acceptable in Australian society. Legislation has been enacted in most states to ensure the safety of children and adolescence.

I'd really like to hear back from you.To ensure you are safe. That is so important and what BB forums are about.

Kind regards

PamelaR

romantic_thi3f · ‎23-03-2018

Hey josh123456475,

Welcome to the forums and I'm glad that you're here. I'm sorry that you're struggling with this.

Can I ask how long you've been seeing a psychologist? What have they been working on with you?

I hate nightmares with an absolute passion so I get where you're coming from but at the same time it's important to know they are a good thing. I say that because it means your brain is processing all this trauma even if it's underneath the surface. Do you ever find that you get repeat nightmares? Are your nightmares a bit abstract or like memories of your abuse? Learning about them and why they are there is important - as no matter how awful they are they are serving a purpose.

So, things you can do -

- Learn about why they are there. See what you can remember. Write it down. Even though it might feel weird there is really good evidence about being able to write down your dreams - everything that you can remember; even if it's small. I know I had pages and pages of stuff from my dreams; especially when they were on repeat.

- When you are in bed, have a think about what you would like to dream about. What is absolutely ideal? Really clue into every part of that; almost as if you are creating a movie in your mind - everything you see, do, feel, wear.

- Learn to relax. Yes it's cliche, but when we are tired, wound up and stressed we are more likely to have them. I also know it's not easy to relax but I'm saying it here anyway because it is important! Even things like muscle tension release exercises can help.

- For the dreams that you do have, create alternative endings.

- Have a chat to your GP if you're interested in medications/supplements. There are non-harmful ones and they can be useful.

- Chat to your psychologist. I'm not sure how long you've been seeing them but call them out on it - "hey, I don't feel any better! What's our plan here? I feel like this has only gotten worse". If they are a good psychologist they'll be able to answer your concerns 🙂 Sometimes you might have to change tactic, or even find another psychologist that's a better fit for you.

Hope this helps,

P.S. Completely agree with Pamela in that covering abuse up in school is not okay. Perhaps your parents can help you make a complaint to the school education board?

Dandelion_Fluff · ‎27-03-2018

Hi Josh,

I’m so sorry to hear how tough this time has been for you. Dealing with the responses of other people must have made the whole thing so much more difficult. It does seem to take a long time (and a lot out of a person) before things start to improve after trauma- but I can tell you that with some tenacity they really can. I had talk therapy for complex ptsd for many years and it was good to have someone to talk to, but the therapy didn’t really shift the trauma. In the last 3 years I’ve been having a therapy called EMDR that has been a game changer- have a google around about it, and see what you think. The research supporting it is looking pretty impressive and I know for me it has been so effective. Cutting caffeine way (way) down has also made a huge impact in my dissociation and hyperarousal- I scoffed at this for years but it has really helped, as has lots of exercise and a version of meditation called ‘self compassion meditation’ designed by a researcher called Kristin neff- she has free guided meditations and mental health research on her website. I hope that you catch a break and that things really improve for you. Take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself when you can.

Just Sara · ‎28-03-2018

Hi and welcome Dandelion;

I admire your capacity to express yourself and glad you've chosen to join BB forum.

I'd love to pick your brain actually if that's ok. We have a pinned thread in (this) 'Trauma and PTSD' section called; 'Complex PTSD - What is it and how do we cope?' Posting about your diagnosis, therapy and recovery journey would be highly regarded. Please consider reading and contributing there. Your thoughts on EMDR especially would be appreciated.

Many thanks for gracing our forum community with your presence. Please look around to find support for yourself; I'm assuming you came here for personal reasons as most of us do. Thankyou for reaching out to Josh as you have as well. I'm sure he's benefited from your words. 🙂

Kind thoughts;

Sez

-

Dear Josh;

It's been a week since you first posted. I'm wondering, as I'm sure others above are, how you're faring. Please feel free to continue chatting here, even if it's to have a rant and clear out words floating around your head. Please know you're welcome, safe and heard.

Hope to see you back soon;

Warm thoughts;

Sez