Struggling in new areas, Job distress

[wint]

Hi, I'm new to this forum and I like to share a little bit about the struggles I've been going through. I am 19, an international student and I arrived here 4 months ago. I came here alone, I left my most of my family back in my country. For the last two months, I noticed that I have been distressed and feel unsatisfied with my ability in speaking and listening. I used to work as an front of house staff at a restaurant for the last two months and In work, I was socially secluded by my coworkers and got always picked up by my boss. I was the only Asian working there. I found sometimes that they have been giving me responsibilities and work they don't want to take care of and mocking me behind my back which was only a side note. Every time my shift ended, my boss called and told me that I was not good enough to do this job and only after that did he let me go home. After working there for one month, I became so discouraged to the point that I feel reluctant to speak and deal with the customer. I lost my commitment and dedication to working there as well as my studies. I have developed a mindset of not being good enough to do or achieve anything and I feel that there is something important skill or necessary capacity lacking in me to be able to work effectively. This anxiety and stress become worse day by day. I also became less engaged in my uni lectures and my friends conversation. I lost my strong concentration in studying and i now tend to procrastinate a lot. I am also disheartened with myself as I have always perceived of myself as a very cheerful, competent and outgoing person. 

[therising]

Hi wint

I have to say you're amazing and I know this to be a fact because you amaze me. Anyone who travels to another country to live and work, especially on their own, amazes me. I don't think I'd have that level of courage. It's an amazing level of courage.

My heart truly goes out to you as you meet with depressing, anxiety inducing and highly questionable people, such as the people you work with. I can never help but question people who lead a person to feel isolated, degraded, depressed and stressed. It really is insane behaviour when you think about it. Highly conscious and deeply feeling co-workers lead us to feel welcomed, supported and they inspire. Far less conscious and unfeeling ones are always questionable. A brilliant manager will manage their staff through support, inspiration and the kind of education that leads to greater levels of mastery in the job. A highly questionable manager, who mismanages, will lead their staff to feel degraded, unsupported and no wiser when it comes to the job. Some workplaces are absolutely toxic for good, amazing, courageous, cheerful, competent outgoing people, such as yourself. Absolutely toxic. Such workplaces can be mentally, physically and soulfully draining too, as they're packed with 'energy vampires' who can drain the absolute life out of people. So much nicer when we work with people who put more life into us. If you're a deeply feeling person, you'll be able to easily feel the difference between the 2.

I suppose the question is 'Do you want to leave such a toxic environment (in search of a new and more inspiring job) or do you want to learn to master working with toxic people as you regain a sense of confidence, while also regaining your spark?'.