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Should I Open The Unconscienced Mind About SA

Community Member

Hi All, I am a 50yo man. Recently I have started with a new Psychologist, and she started asking me questions about my childhood. It would seem that I might be repressing events that might have happened to me at a very young age that are in my unconscious mind. There is known childhood sexual abuse by a grandparent in the family so this could be what’s in there.

The moment she started exploring the topic I had an emotional (tears) and physical reaction (couldn’t sit still/squirming in the chair).

I am not sure if I want to open up, as this could be very painful to explore. At the moment I don’t know if I was abused, or I saw something or I just think it happened to me.

I appreciate everyone is different, but I would like to know what others think, is opening up beneficial?

I am also not sure if I should be discussing things with my wife and kids as I go through this, after all, I don’t really know what happened so there is nothing to discuss really, I do have symptoms, such as mood swings, some alcohol use, a lot of anxiety so I think I should be saying something?

2 Replies 2

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear B-1472~

Welcome ot the Forum. It's a god move on your part as if you look around you will find others in similar situations and can see how they handled things.


I think I disagree with you when you say " after all, I don’t really know what happened so there is nothing to discuss really,". Something really did happen - an uncomfortable session.  To have tears and a physical reaction is pretty painful and worrying. It frightened the life out of me the first time I cried.


The fact you are unsure of the past is also a great worry. It has obviously made you react strongly and that I woud suggest is sufficient reason to talk with your family. There is nothing to stop you saying you do not know what -if anything - happened, you were still deeply affected.


Who you discus this with -if anyone - is your decision, you know your family and would have an idea of how each member may react. It may possibly be a comfort to them to have the reason for your mood swings, use of alcohol and anxiety.


Again I can't say if it is beneficial to open up wiht oyur psych. As you say everyone is different. I received trauma in a different way, but for a very long time was unaware of a number of events. If asked I would have genuinely said I knew nothing about it.


My psychiatrist's method was not to press, and eventually incidents would come back into my recollection together with a quite pronounced reaction. It always made me wonder if there was more buried - which there was. In my case my psych told me as my mind became ready to deal with something then it would produce it.


Early on wiht a different psych I was 'encouraged' to discuss events which I did not remember, and this made me most uncomfortable during hte session and in the days after so I switched to another therapist.


Please do not take my experiences as being a recommendation for what you should do. It may be if I'd persevered early on then maybe my recovery to my present good state might have been quicker -I just don't know.


I do know family support made a huge difference, even though it was hard on my partner it helped carry me through and I owe her a debt. She did have her own support in the form of her mum, who was there for her all the time, and I think it made a big difference to her reaction to me.


Again I'd say that was my partner and her circumstances (and occupation -she was a nurse), I cannot make any suggestions on how you partner might feel.


If you think I'm fence sitting you are quite right, I don't want to influence you one way or another, just let you know my expereince



Thanks Croix, I have much to think about.