Dear Gia052~
I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum. I'm sure as you look around you will find others wiht similar problems
While my traumas were of a different sort to yours the results were similar. Flashbacks, nightmares, being overwhelmed and no intimacy. I also had not brain power left to deal with anyone at times and could be rude and dismissive.
It may well be that being in the same bed as your boyfriend may have an adverse effect seeing the nature of your experiences. Loved ones sometimes believe kind treatment and love from them will cure all ills, and while they definitely play a part professional assistance such as you are getting is essential too.
Things do get better, and while I have not been treated by EMDR my psychiatrist has mentioned it in the past.
I have in fact improved out of sight with medication and therapy and time, and also learning to live with the problems I face and will avoid situations, movies etc that are likley to have an adverse effect on me.
In relation to your boyfriend if he has not had the results of trauma himself he will find it hard to understand. Initially my partner felt my behaviour was caused by her own imagined deficiency, not being sexy enough, not looking after me properly and other reasons to blame herself. Perhaps your boyfriend feels some of this too and may even feel rejected.
What turned things around for my partner was when I took her to see my psychiatrist and he explained it was nothing to do with her, and that I was experiencing the expected results and symptoms.
Perhaps his more complete understanding may make things better.
You are always welcome here and we would like to know how you get on
Croix
