PTSD for Medical and First Responders

[A_Tech]

Hi,

Well obviously this my situation.

I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others).

Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management.

I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat.

Cheers ✌️

[Goldenlight]

After reading through this feed on ptsd I think maybe I might be experiencing it. I feel for everyone who has commented to this page as ptsd is real and it can seem like u are absolutely drowning in fear and panic. I'm not sure where to start or who to turn to. I am a nurse and after an incident that happened 2 weeks ago I am feeling absolutely done, burnt out and in panic that I have to find another job, I feel this job is too much for me, on my days off I'm not relaxing, my heart is racing, I'm all jittery and find it difficult to take a deep breath, I love caring for people but think I've made the wrong career choice as I have had ptsd in the past from a traumatic event when I was a child, I am also prone to anxiety, and have had an eating disorder in the past. I don't know what my options are. I don't want to seem weak when other people around me at work seem so capable and confident. Any suggestions? When I am at work I am fine. When I am away from work I seem to be highly anxious and panicked about having to go back.

[Croix]

Dear Goldenlight~

When your work makes you ill then it is time to reassess what to do. Basically either get support and coping skills that work (may not be possible - then again it might) or change jobs, or frequency of going to work.

I didn't reassess, kept going until I stopped functioning, then invalided out with PTSD, depression, chronic anxiety. I am now quite good, but permanently out of the workforce - of any sort - except voluntary.

Mark and Paul have, as usual, given pretty good advice. Mark is a great example of someone who was struck by PTSD, anxiety and all the usual suspects, but has recovered to the point where he is back at work. Anxiety and PTSD can indeed be overcome by some. (sorry to talk about you Mark - don't mean to be rude)

My son works in A&E, but a few years ago, before things started to build up too much, made a conscious decision to work part time and study too. Gave him 2 different worlds, lessened the pressure. Made for perspective.

My first wife was a casualty sister. After a number of years she changed to the more relaxing pace of X-Ray for a while.

I tried to beat things on my own, did not work. I tried ignoring the basic problems, that did not work either. Your symptoms and situation are quite familiar to me.

So what am I saying? If I was in your shoes I'd start by ensuring I had the best medical treatment available.

Normally that starts with a GP, assessment, and then possibly meds and visits to a psychologist to give you the tools to cope with, and minimize, anxiety. The Smiling Mind app Mark mentioned is very useful, I have it too.

I'd also consider a slight change of path. If part time is not practical than another department, or agency?

Seeming calm capable and confident on the outside is fine, but please don't let life erode you inside.

Croix

[MarkJT]

Goldenlight, I think the first and foremost action you need to take is to get yourself to the GP and maybe a psych. Before you can really do anything else, you need to get yourself right. You are the most important person to you. You cannot help many others if you are not right yourself. If there was a non negotiable that I could say to you, this is it - get to the GP!

Once you get this done, if you do get a diagnoses of PTSD, it is not the end of the world. As Croix has said above (and Croix tell me story all you want!!), I got back to full time work and are functioning quite well. There is no reason why you cannot do that also. There was once a time where i did not envision at all going back to my job, but i have.

Please do not think that you are weak. In my opinion, it takes more courage to face up to mental health injuries and illnesses than it does to try and run away from it. You cannot outrun it so do not try to. Do not worry about your work mates, i think you would find that most, if not all will be supportive and those that are not, well they are not worth worrying about.

You need to build the base for your recovery. That starts with the GP visit, it may go to some psych session, improve your diet if you can, drop or cut alcohol usage, exercise and practice mindfulness. Build your base and you give yourself the best chance of making a full recovery.

Thanks for posting, it reinforces for those that are reading this that you and everyone else, is not alone.

Mark.

[The_Abyss]

Hi Mobi -

We never know what job it will be that tips us over the edge. You handle all the big stuff for years and years, and then something "little" will tip you over the edge, take you back to a job you thought you had put behind you, cause an unproportioned response. It hits you hard, because you don't see it coming. It has been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Many of the emergency services use EAP (employee assistance program) or something similar. Make contact - they put you in contact with a counsellor who specialises in PTSD and try to match you up with someone of similar experience. It is hard to make the first step, but it helps so much to talk with someone that really understands. It's not just the job, it's all the other stuff that has built up and the medical issues as well. Don't feel you just have to talk about the job - it's just one element of a very complex issue.

[The_Abyss]

Goldenlight

Step 1 - take sick leave or worker comp. Often easier to take sick leave first, but after discuss with GP, perhaps seek workers comp while you take time out? Workers Comp will allow you to seek and receive help for longer than a mental health plan, but right now you need to remove yourself from the noxious stimuli. You are not working at your best, and risk making a mistake that may affect your career in the long term. Despite your front, you are not safe, and need to look after you.

May I ask, was it a patient incident or an employment incident? It's just that the path to healing are different.

It sounds like you are experience panic attacks. They feel so real and are so debilitating. You need to see a psychologist as soon as you can so you can start on a recovery process, or at the very least, stop this from becoming any more debilitating than it already is.

Recovery is possible. Give it time. Don't jump in to abandoning your career, heal first, then reassess. Yes, a different area may help, reducing hours may help, but nothing will help until you take time out to heal you first.

[bear53]

Have been following this post occasionally for some time now, last few replies have been quite relevant for me.So heres my story:

Posted elsewhere on bb early last year with another issue as a carer, but all good now. ( Worth mentioning as maybe it contributed to my more recent stress/ptsd)

I work as an acute care nurse out in the community, a job I still enjoy, but at times it can be stressful and does involve a lot of driving. Middle of last year I was a first responder to a near fatal accident, person needing urgent airway management with a serious head injury. Afterwards i put an incident form in with work, and took a few days off work. At the time my colleagues were supportive, but my manager( who has since left) had no concept of the impact it had on me. After a couple of months I went to my gp and got a mental health plan and psychologist, not under work cover. Mentally things improved for me and late last year the psych and i agreed that one more visit this year should be enough. I took a long holiday inFeb. and thought I was over it after. Then out of the blue one day at work out on the road I experienced two triggers, which I worked through myself, as I have done in past. A setback, but still I thought I was ok. Then the other day the original incident came up in conversation at work, (a colleague asked me what happened). I started to tell, but felt too distressed talking about it, and had to stop. Like i said , I thought I was getting better, and thats whats upsetting me now. I am also anxious about doing my BLS again, as this is coming up. So I am in the middle of getting another appt with my psych, but this is another issue, she only works once a week and is hard to contact ( number goes to message bank and she rings back, but takes a few hours). So thinking maybe i need to change psych. also. Not feeling I need time off work now, but scared I might get a major trigger at work.

[Croix]

Dear Bear53~

It's a nasty shock when things come back after you think you were over them. I was surprised recently by a somewhat minor matter, and have in the past had major re-livings.

There is - or has been for me - good news. Things can lessen markedly in intensity. Whilst I have no experience to draw on except my own frankly I think the fact you were able to stop, realizing what was happening, and alter course was a most encouraging sign. Being 'stuck' in the experience is not.

I've found that I have to take care about triggers, and for me a lot are known. I've said to people in the past, "Look I don't want to talk about that", and changed the subject. This has not completely stopped thoughts as they have been just starting, but I'm at the stage I can quickly compensate and the person I'm talking to has no idea (unless it is my wife or son).

I also find that one trigger leaves me more susceptible to another if it follows quickly.

My reactions are so much lighter and more manageable nowadays, and coping with triggers by and large ok.

It's a pity your psych only works once a week, however if it was me (no, I know it's not) I'd balance how you got on with her and how much confidence you have in her against frequency of visits.

I do find base levels of stress make things worse for this and also my anxiety, I use Smiling Mind which is a help.

Please feel free to keep talking, others probably can give you more pertinent advice

Croix

Croix

[MarkJT]

Bear, one of the most valuable things that i learnt on my PTSD journey where my triggers. I know that if i am going to do something that is slightly triggering, i can mentally prepare for that and it, for the most part, serves me well.

There are definitely times though that I get triggered unexpectedly and those are the harder times to control. It is a viscous circle to get into as you either choose to walk around all day every day on edge waiting to be triggered which is not healthy at all or you allow yourself to relax with the threat of being triggered.

My advice would be to make sure that the original incident is treated and you are working towards that with the psych. If you cannot get in quickly enough with her, you may need to look for another one. You also need to learn to ground yourself. There are several ways of doing this with mindfulness being a great one. As Croix points out above, Smiling Mind is a great app - check that out. There is also music which is awesome as you can get completely in the moment with music.

Triggers can be controlled - i can assure you that, don't ever think that they can't.

Mark.

[bear53]

Thankyou for your replies Mark and Croix, much appreciated, god to talk to someone who knows what you are going thru (an old cliche but true!)

So i got on to my psych yesterday, luckily there was a spare appt yesterday, otherwise it was going to be weeks away . One of the points they made was that you're more susceptible to triggers when you're already tired from work with less reserves, so I'll watch out for that one, if i can. They also suggested writing out the incident in full as much as I can, will choose the right time to do this though. I did feel better after seeing them, but if I feel things arent improving in a few weeks, may look elsewhere for help. ( and keep posting)

[CMF]

Hi,

I've just read through this thread and I am speechless. I don't feel I can add anything of value to help anyone but I do want to say 'Thank You" to all of the amazing people who work in these jobs and see deal with traumatic events every day. You are a special breed, I really don't know what to say but thank you ...

cmf x