PTSD for Medical and First Responders

[A_Tech]

Hi,

Well obviously this my situation.

I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others).

Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management.

I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat.

Cheers ✌️

[A_Tech]

Hi Leia,

Thank you for your amazing words of support, I hope you realise how important that is to all of us in this field.

I have to say to you that you remind me EXACTLY of me. My passion for the job from the day I started until the day I left, never once waivered. Even now, I still feel that same desire and want to return to my job, it was something that I loved doing so much and I know I made a difference.

I believe that people like you and I are what makes the services what they are. Our jobs are supposed to be about compassion, empathy and the want to help others. The downside of course, is if your not careful it does eventually creep up on you. 

The fact that your on this site now, tells me that perhaps you already have some insight into PTSD from compounding traumas. I hope that it's not you, but rather someone you know?

I spent 10yrs in theatres of a trauma hospital before I finally had to leave (lots of long periods of time off over the last 2yrs, behaviour changes etc), I did try to return to work at a non trauma hospital 6mnths ago because I felt like I was doing so much better, but due to the nature of PTSD, I only lasted a week!

Thankfully, the manger at this hospital has told me I am welcome back as soon as I am recovered, if I ever want too. 

From what I can tell from you, as long as you don't have massive depressive/anxiety type issues already (because this job WILL bring that out in you if it's already there) you sound like like exactly the type of person that we need for these jobs. 

Youre prepareing strategies in advance as coping mechanisms and that's fantastic!!! Maybe if I had done that I might still be working.

I agree with have no regrets! Your young and so inspired and passionate about doing this amazing and rewarding work, so go for it. Don't hold back. Like you said, you can always change careers later in life, but at least you'll know you did it! 

The only real advice I can give you, is to be aware of you! Notice if you think your changing. Ask others if they see it too and if so then act on it. I hid my emotions behind alcohol as you will very soon discover is what we all end up doing. We numb it to get through, but that's the first sign.

I think you will be an amazing Paramedic because you obviously care enough to get this insight.

Go for it, love it and have some fun doing it.

Keep us updated though ok? I'd really like to know how it all goes.

Take care,

Donna  

[Leia]

Hi Donna,

I can’t explain how relieving and kind your words are.  

I know it can sound very silly, but I can’t help but think I could make a different, big or small. I love teaching people; I’m always making tables, study maps to help my peers/friends learn course content. I’m passionate about holistic health, particularly mental health, which is often overshadowed. I’d like to think I could contribute and reassure someone in his or her time of need, which I believe is the most influential part of our job.  

I have been diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression. For a while I self-managed just through social support, relaxation and exercise but recently I took a step in the right direction and got more specialised help from the professionals! I do understand the ability of this field to exacerbate underlying ‘vulnerabilities or issues’ but that’s exactly why I’m doing everything I can about it, to hopefully come out the other side more prepared and resilient. I haven’t experienced PTSD but I know the risks and have studied the condition throughout my studies. So far I have been faced with traumatic events and have walked away with understanding and acceptance. I found that talking it through with my paramedic crews and team leaders clarified any concerns as to why ALS ceased or didn’t start and instilled that understanding that ‘we performed to the best of our ability.’  

I don’t want to be naive and blatantly say that my diagnoses wont affect me because I don’t think that to be true. However, by employing coping strategies, having a regular chat with my psychologist and continually staying on top of things, I hope to control how it affects me and respond to any faint feelings of PTSD if they creep up.  

I talk a LOT and if you ask anyone I’m a very happy person. I think sometimes people misunderstand the aspects of my life anxiety affects. My issues usually just sit with me, in that way I think it’s a lot more about self-perception. On road, I think it’s only ever made me more diligent and empathetic, but I will continue to work at it and watch it.  

It’s so nice to hear you share the same genuine passions and aspirations to help others. I cant imagine how hard it would have been to have to stop doing what you love because of such uncontrollable circumstances but it sounds like you are doing all the right things and being really responsive to your needs. It’s also really lovely to hear how understanding your manager has been, it can so easily be misunderstood, good to know some employers can take it!  

I never want to sacrifice my own well being and I think you’re right in the sense that it’s about being responsive to your whole-self, which is exactly what I want to do and who I want to be.  

Thank you so much, again

Look after yourself,  

Leia

[Jack_the_rabbit]

Gday mate, have you tried talking to a lawyer about a TPD claim? I know PK are pretty helpful and after being in the police force and having many friends go thru this, I know financial strain can make it harder. Making a claim can sometimes get your mind onto new things and get some direction.   

[A_Tech]

Jack The Rabbit,

Please forgive me, I know this will sound exceptionally nieve, but TPD?

At the time that I gave up working my father in law had just passed away, I had been bullied at work for close to two years due to my brother being arrested (which was told in confidence to my manager!) and I was quite literally going through hell with my mother and other siblings over my brother.

I did speak to the Union about a workers comp case and had more than enough to go on, however mentally there was no way I would ever be able to withstand the crap they would pull.

I did accidentally find out a couple of months later that for ten years I was paying through my superannuation, a monthly premium for salary insurance. Its been six months now, but I'm told we're nearly there. I'll believe it IF I ever see it.

I have been making massive progress lately though, even with my brothers trial. After two VERY long years, it finally went to court two weeks ago. Now we just wait for sentencing, another few weeks away, another set back. Then I deal with the grief of losing my twin brother for the next 15-20 years, maybe I'll get back on track with the PTSD therapy???

The best thing I've ever done though is cut myself of from the people I used to work with. I was at the hospital a few weeks as my uncle was in ICU and they all just stared at me like I'm a freak. But, as I walked passed them and said hi, I hadn't felt that strong in years. It was an awesome moment.

Anyway, no matter what I'll be ok and I know that! I have some amazing support from my husband, GP, Psychologist and couple of people I'm proud to call friends!

Thank you for your thoughts for ideas to help, it's much appreciated.

Donna

[ontheborder]

I am a first responder, I am a member of the CFA.

We do road rescue for this region so I am quiet familiar with graphic, traumatic injuries. 

I also have PTSD but from my childhood.

[A_Tech]

Hi ontheborder,

It's really good to see another fellow responder here. Well, sad but good. You know what I mean!

Sometimes it's really hard to talk about the job and all it involves with people who don't understand. I know that everyone here really does try to empathise, but it's not quite the same.

You said your PTSD is from childhood? Has that made it hard for you in your job? I would have thought that would be very difficult.

I know I had a lot emotional issues growing up, the death of my sister, then my parents divorce. My sister especially made it very difficult for me to do any type of peadiatric work, and was in the end the actual trigger for my breakdown.

I thought that by working in an adult hospital it would never be an issue, but sometimes fate slaps you upside the head when you least expect it!!!!

Anyway, if you feel like chatting a bit more, that's definitely something I can do well (so my hubby says!). I check in every couple of days at least, so feel free to chat away.

Hope to talk soon.

Donna 

[ontheborder]

Hi Donna,

As the PTSD is from child abuse the only times it is difficult is when dealing with people that have beards.

The other triggers I have either don't occur in the right combinations on calls or are easy to avoid.

I'm also lucky that it is a very suportive enviroment. 

In a weird sort of way exposing myself to this kind of trauma acctually helps me. It is something that is outside my head that demands 100% of my focus, if that makes sence.

You know it's acctually kind of funny in a twisted kind of way, the blood, screaming and dead or injured  mangled bodies doesn't affect me but if you take someone that smells of cigarette and is swearing or drinking beer or sucking on a lemon/lime lolly at the time I compleatly freak out.

The triggers, nightmares and memories are cruel no matter what the trauma they are born from.

[A_Tech]

Hi ontheborder,

I'm so sorry for the delay in my reply, especially after I said that I check in every few days. I've had some very heavy family stuff going on lately, which definitely has made life and my PTSD very difficult. Without too much carry on about it, after two years of being in remand, my younger brother has just been sentenced for a minimum of 19 years for his part in a crime.

It's been really hard to focus on helping him and my PTSD, with only the support of my husband and father. Our mother and other brother walked away from him and us two years ago when it first happened.

But, back to the topic. I can so totally relate to what you say about how the job requires 100% of your attention. I mean, firstly that's what they they train us to do right? That adrenaline pump that happens as soon as a call comes in, you go straight into mode ! That's how I survived my 10 years in trauma theatre. 

I had such a passion for what I did, I still do, and I definitely want to go back to it. It occurred to me a few days ago that in another 2 weeks, it'll be a year since I've properly worked! I didn't realise it had gone that fast.

We all have our own and very unique triggers that's for sure! There is so much that I have no problems with even now. For me, it seems to be mainly some of the most horrific cases that I dealt with in that last few years, and now anything associated with it, even if I wasn't there. 

I can only imagine some of the sights you saw as an actual first responder, on the road, and like you said I agree that mostly it's a weird  almost out of body experience. It's work mode, survival mode, what we do!!

I'm really glad to hear you say that you have some great support. I'm assuming you mean from work?

That's where my problem came from. There was, and still is just nothing!! A patient dies in theatre, after you and the team have just spent up to 4-6 hours working to save their life, pumping volume in as fast as you can only to see it pooling on the floor around you just as quick! This one was 18yrs old and it christmas eve, and she died anyway! 

Of course being a government hospital and understaffed, we have to clean up our theatres. No down time, not even a coffee break, I was moved theatres to start another trauma case (that was my specialty). I did most of that shift with not even a coffee break, very usual.

But, I've got a million stories, as I'm sure you do too.

So, to be continued.

Take it easy.

Donna.

[Unforgettable]

​Hello all, I am very new to this valuable Forum whereby in the short time have read many posts and personal stories. My name is John where I have registered myself under the approved User Name as Unforgettable lol...

 I am a policeman myself of over some 28 years service and have already submitted a post under another category! I would like to draw all my fellow confidants to a book written by Kevin M. Gilmartin Ph.D. an American police officer and now psychologist. My police union here in Australia has invited him out to talk to our members.

The book is universally acclaimed and can relate to all Emergency Service workers. I strongly recommended you grab yourself a copy for a well informed read! The book can be googled and ordered on line and I will say it is an easy read and you could if keen read it over a couple of nights?

I hope this helps?

John

[A_Tech]

Hi John,

Thanks for the information on the book, I will definitely look into it.

I think the biggest concern though, especially for me anyway, is how our employers are letting us down with very little or no backup support. Even when I approached my manager, I was basically told to quit my job because there is no place for 'light duties' or the like in a trauma theatre setting.

The issue relays not PTSD itself, but making these employers (especially when they're Government Departments!!) aware and even accountable, when they refuse to help.

I'm very keen to read this book,  have also made the decision to go to Uni next year to study Psychology. Funny how that happens so much hey??

Who knows, maybe one day I can go back to the hospital I worked in and help them become more aware.

 Thanks again,

Donna.