PTSD after traumatic birth and newborn with serious illness

[pvroom]

My son was born in April 2015 and it was traumatic. I had a healthy pregnancy but it all went wrong when he was born. He was born at 37 weeks but had stopped growing as my placenta had stopped working so he was more like a 33 weeker. The birth was 36 hours, and I ended up having an assisted delivery and epidural which wasn't what I wanted. I never had time to think about this as soon after he was born he was taken to the nursery because he wasn't breathing and he then had to be resuscitated. He was moved to another hospital with higher level care, but then moved again after another 48 hours ending up in the NICU. He was intubated and it took him about 6 days to breath alone which is unusual for a baby of that gestation.

We finally got him home after four weeks and at first I felt so happy but then after another month he started experiencing reflux and no one would listen to me about it. Eventually a paediatrician did and since then (8 months ago) it's been a rollercoaster of him improving a bit and then regressing again. I get very little sleep, he's up 5 times a night generally between 9pm and 6.30am. Hubby helps but as I'm still feeding him, I naturally have to do more.

I'm seeing a psychologist for the anxiety and PTSD. It's coming up to his first birthday and I'm already wondering how it will affect me.

[CMF]

Pvroom,

party sounds great. Remember sometimes we need to go through the difficult times to get to the good stuff. Lost Girl made some great points, things will get easier.

cmf

[Lost_Girl]

Hey Pvroom,

A small group in the park sounds lovely.

If you are looking for a few more ideas to make it special, grabbing some party bunting from a $2 shop can look really cute between some trees or around the table area if there is one. A lot of people are doing "cake smash" birthdays, that is quite special in its own way and can be very cute. You could google that and see if it interests you.

It sounds like flowers for you might be in order too 🙂 Get hubby to treat you with some, it's your day too xx

Something to consider post party. If you take lots of lovely photos on the day, putting them into a special photo book will be a nice reminder that time of year so you can look back on it if you start feeling low. There are some lovely online digital photobooks you can make. For example blurb or momento, there are heaps, just google them.

Hope this helps xx

[pvroom]

Thank you CMF and Lost Girl!

Great ideas Lost Girl. I have seen the cake smash thing, I'm not sure about that, but definitely bunting and fun decorations. I don't want to overdo it but it is fun!

[blondguy]

Hey pvroom!

Just thought I'd pop in see how you have been traveling and you are reasonably well 🙂

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[pvroom]

Hi Paul, thanks for checking in, I'm doing OK.

[Guest_5218]

Morning pvroom. Great to hear that you are doing ok.

Are you keeping busy with your work? And how did your little fellow's first birthday go last Sunday?

Sherie xx

[blondguy]

Thanks pvroom

Thats good news..I understand you are busy...I love that great profile pic...gorgeous horse

I hope you have a good weekend

Paul

[pvroom]

Thanks Paul - I'm not really busy, I'm just not sure where I'm at, I'm tired and sad and anxious and angry and a lot of things! This time last year my son was in the ICU. I mean this time to the day, and I feel like that was a different person who went through all that. but at the same time, my heart feels really tight and my chest feels tight and I feel hurt that I had to go through all that. It's weird to feel like it was me and wasn't me that experienced it. I'm not sure how it's even possible to feel/think that way.

Thanks for being here for me!

Sherie - yes we are following each other!

[blondguy]

No worries vroom...:-) Tight chest...heart feeling...yepp...anxiety can bring on these annoying physical feelings...Its not weird at all that you feel this way and with the human mind and its thought processes. I still catch myself 'internalising' sometimes...it can be a pain...

Happy to be here for you vroom 🙂

Paul

[pvroom]

I know I'm not doing that well because i keep forgetting things. That is a sign for me that my anxiety has crept back up again. I'm still on my meds but i took a bit more last week before my son's birthday and then this week i went back down (this was with doctor's advice) so i'm wondering if that's why