Previous Job is maybe giving me PTSD

[_Nini_]

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing well. Last year back in July, I quit my casual job because I was going through the HSC and had family commitments. Ever since the day I quit, I get these feelings of fear that my old boss was going to call me back into work. Ive had a few nightmares since i quit and I don't know how to deal with this. It has been over a year now but I still get scared when hearing about the company name or when Im physically near that workplace (it was in a shopping centre), I have now avoided that area. I am apparently still under the payroll system of the company but I texted the Taxation office and they said it was fine and I didn't need to do anything since I already quit and wasn't earning any income from them but I'm still so scared that I am on their system. I don't know why but now I keep checking my emails constantly fearing that they would email me because they still have my email address. Ive been having panic attacks recently because my previous job just cant exit my mind, just seeing someone totally random that has the same name as my manager scares me so much. It is becoming worse now as it is affecting me mentally and my friends don't understand because they've never experienced this before. Hopefully someone in this community can somewhat relate to me and guide me through. Thank you all for reading it this far.

[Petal22]

Hi Nini,

Wellcome to our forums!

Sorry you have been feeling this way it must be difficult for you……

Im sorry your previous work place is causing you distress….

I had severe anxiety OCD…… (obsessive compulsive disorder )it’s a anxiety disorder……with this condition I would have intrusive thoughts that would cause me a lot of distress……. I would always seek reassurance as a compulsion of mine to try to bring my anxiety down…… but it would always return…. OCD is a vicious cycle…….

I have now recovered from this condition thanks to the help of health professionals………

With OCD my thoughts seemed irrational but “ felt “ very real…..

My recovery started from seeing my gp we did a mental health plan together, this enabled me to see a clinical psychologist who gave me many strategies for my anxiety, I also saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with OCD….. this then led me to a clinic that specialised in OCD….. this is we’re I learned to master my OCD……….. OCD is treatable…..

My gp also put me on a antidepressant to help me to manage my anxiety…….

I highly recommend you see your gp and let them know how you are feeling…….. let them know if you are feeling distressed and if this is affecting your life……

Your not alone…..

I’m here to chat to you 😊

[_Nini_]

Hi Petal22,

Thank you so much for this reply. It has been so long of having this feeling of constant fear and anxiety and you replying to my post really means so much to me, thank you. Ive thought about going to my GP but im just too scared to take that first step. I dont even know how start to the conversation with my GP. Especially during lockdown now, it is so hard to speak up because I feel like other people out there have a more serious illness that needs to be seen first.

[Petal22]

That’s ok Nini …. Happy to reply to you and help you in any way I can 😊

Are gp s taking phone consultations over lockdown or are you aloud to go to the practice?

Please don’t be scared to see your gp…. They are health professionals and are there to help you! If it’s easier before you go to your appointment write a list of what you want to discuss with the doctor and read off the list……. Just tell your gp what you have told me…….. let them know if your anxiety is affecting your life and how you are really feeling….

You are an important person! You need help from your gp …… this first step is the first step towards your recovery……. Please be brave and make your appointment….. your future self will thank you for it 😊

I understand anxiety can be very debilitating but you CAN recover just step forward and ask for help…… I know you CAN believe in your self 💪

I’m here to chat to you anytime….. let me know how you go 😊

[The_Bro]

Hi Nini

It has taken courage and commitment for you to reach out - congratulations for that!

Yes it is a very difficult situation when your mind and negative thoughts are being triggered by small things like someone with your past Managers name, mention of that shopping centre etc.

Petal22 had some good advice in posts.

I wonder if it would help if you sat down and documented what it was about the job that makes you feel this way? Point by point and as much detail as you want to.

Then you can look into that particular point and let it wash over you - ask yourself does it really matter? Can I put that behind me? What can I do to ensure it doesn't happen again?

If your confidence has been dented, discuss it with someone you trust and respect like a great friend, parent, doctor etc. It they know you well enough, and reinforce your personal strengths that might help a lot.

Every person in this world has great strengths and much to offer - maybe you need to rediscover yours!

Armed with self belief, you can then say 'Goodbye and don't come back' to those thoughts and that pesky manager!

Even consider a new job when you are ready.....

Hope this helps a little bit and your feelings are improving in a way that you can notice.

Happy to hear your thoughts

The Bro