Partners of DID systems.

[Shirogane]

Gosh where to start. Our life looks so quiet from the outside but truly it is chaos
Just below the surface.

I'd dearly love to hear some positive stories and strategies
reguarding moving forward with a DID system for partners
(12 alters) and regular family life.

The host I married is gone but there are a few whom I'm
close with since then. (4 years ago next month) they don't
therapy but instead work on their head themselves.

They are also highly intelligent autistic folks.

I run into problems often with my communication issues
As I'm clinically depressed and highly anxious myself.

I have a tendency not to share everything. I'm a quiet
person naturally. This really bothers them.

Is there anyone out there who gets it. Knows how complex
this kind of relationship is?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Shirogane,

Welcome to the forums!

This is not something that I struggle with personally but I wanted to welcome you anyway and hopefully you can find some support here.

I will link to a couple of resources below as well -

Sane Australia are a great organisation working with complex mental health issues and they have a lot of great support here for friends/family/partners. You can also search key words up top and get some posts from others in the same situation too. Here is the link to the carers forum >

https://saneforums.org/t5/Friends-Family-Carers-Forum/ct-p/carers-forum

Below are a couple of threads from Beyond Blue specifically >

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/supporting-family-and-friends-with-a-mental-...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/ptsd-trauma/looking-for-support-through-d-i-...

and some subsections that you might find helpful as well >

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/supporting-family-and-friends-with-a-mental-...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues

Hope this helps and take care.

rt

[Naptime]

Hi Shirogaine,

I understand, but from the other side. We’re the ones with DID and we have a partner who was with the host, but the host has gone now, too.

I don’t know how our partner copes, I really don’t. I can only imagine how hard it is being on the receiving end of this. Knowing some can be touched, some can’t, to not take the anger, the tears, the tantrums personally - I don’t think I would cope as well as our partner does.

We do a lot of work on ourselves while our partner is at work. We try and work on things by journaling, we try and let the littles out more when we are alone, and we go to therapy twice a week. It is painful to be in therapy so much, but we know it is an important and will ultimately help our relationship.

[Shirogane]

Firstly, thanks for the reply. That is truly appriciated.

Secondly, Is your partner on here? Would they be willing to chat? (*desperate voice) I understand being multiple is hectic but tbh I've heard so much from that side that my brain is in information overload burn out gonna explode. Lol

I really really want to hear from people like me, partnered to a multiple. How they do what they do to help the relationship work past the changing of hosts/loss of host and cope with the genuine random other stuffs that happen in this category of relationships. Ya'all are random as. (In a good way but still RANDOM! LOL)

I know this sounds brutal and I mean no offence. It's really honest though. I need help for my side. Their powerbase of their mental health is on them and there's tons of stuff out on the Interwebs for DID peeps but it seems any partners are radio silent to the max. I seriously can't be the only one who is struggling with this. (*wonders, am I?... self gaslighting, conspiracy theories everywhere, makes a foil hat)

[Naptime]

Random? Lol, that’s a polite way to put us.

My partner isn’t on here and I don’t know anyone else irl who has DID, unfortunately. Our partner wants to be more involved and says that we shut them out. I guess we do, but we feel that’s what therapy is for. We want our partner to feel like we are ok, even if we are not.

Hopefully you will find someone who can talk with you about the ‘other side’ of the relationship.