Not Able To Feel Closure-Child Sexual Abuse

[KLOVE]

I was the victim of sexual abuse at the hands of a pedofile in my church when I was a teenager. 10yrs ago I proceeded with legal action against him & as a result other victims came forward, reported him & we've successfully had him charged, convicted & jailed. He has also been dealt with by our church & removed as a member. He has been exposed in the press aswell. However, my pain & PTSD still remains. Rather then being able to "enjoy" the fact that justice is being served, I can't feel any relief or peace. Why am I still hurting emotionally & mentally?

[Lady_Stardust]

Hi, KLOVE,

First off, I’m so sorry that this happened to you. No one should have to go through something like that, and I’m also so sorry that you’re carrying this weight with you. Second, I want to commend your strength in going forward with legal action and encouraging others to come forward as a result; that is incredibly difficult. I’m so pleased to hear the results of your courage.

It’s understandable, though, that the results of the trauma would still be there. I understand that completely. Even though you helped to put this monster away, it doesn’t necessarily mean the pain will go away. One thing you can focus on is this: because of you and the others you encouraged, no one will be hurt by him again. No one will suffer at his hands again.

Like I said, I do understand. I understand how you would be troubled by these positive results not bringing you any closure. Have you been to a psychologist? Have you been able to speak to a professional about it? There is a lot to be worked through. Don’t feel bad about not automatically feeling better. You went through a trauma, and justice doesn’t mean you must feel justified, if that makes sense.

Do you have a healthy support network outside of this forum?

[kathfisher]

i was sexually abused when i was 4 that was13yr ago this yr i decided it would be time to tell somone so i did it was hard at first now it does feel worse i admit it because i feel so open and exposed but i have talked to others they say it gets better so if it does for me it will for you

[geoff]

Hello KLOVE, my deepest sympathy for what you had to go through, and as I've always said, I detest anyone who takes advantage of someone against their wishes and I certainly feel the pain you are suffering from.

Your emotional health will need ongoing care and remember none of this was your fault, but it's going to lower your self-esteem, but you can reinforce these feelings by saying 'now with the help of others we have served justice and he won't be able to hurt anyone else any longer'.

Finishing and accomplishing even small goals will improve your self esteem and avoid comparing yourself to others, it's you that needs to the attention.

This would be easily dealt by the help and instructions from a psychologist who will help you get over the first hurdle, the hardest, and then direct you onto another stage, another way of thinking and dealing with this situation.

Feel pleased once you have achieved something new, you deserve it. Geoff.

[geoff]

Hi Kathfisher, can I also welcome you and thanks for adding your comment.

My sincere apologises to you as well for what happened to you at a very young age.

I can't possibly think of what you went through, but the strength you had to tell someone, including us is also extraordinary.

It may feel worse only because you have opened up so people now know, but what it does do, is allow others to begin to understand what an awful experience you have had to suffer from and then how to help you through these difficult times.

They do say that it does get better but to do so you will need the help from your doctor who may refer you to a psychologist, using the mental health plan.

This entitles you to 10 free visits, but I hope you can still stay on the site because you also have friends here. Geoff.

[KLOVE]

Hi Lady

Lady_Stardust said:

Hi, KLOVE,

First off, I’m so sorry that this happened to you. No one should have to go through something like that, and I’m also so sorry that you’re carrying this weight with you. Second, I want to commend your strength in going forward with legal action and encouraging others to come forward as a result; that is incredibly difficult. I’m so pleased to hear the results of your courage.

It’s understandable, though, that the results of the trauma would still be there. I understand that completely. Even though you helped to put this monster away, it doesn’t necessarily mean the pain will go away. One thing you can focus on is this: because of you and the others you encouraged, no one will be hurt by him again. No one will suffer at his hands again.

Like I said, I do understand. I understand how you would be troubled by these positive results not bringing you any closure. Have you been to a psychologist? Have you been able to speak to a professional about it? There is a lot to be worked through. Don’t feel bad about not automatically feeling better. You went through a trauma, and justice doesn’t mean you must feel justified, if that makes sense.

Do you have a healthy support network outside of this forum?

Thank you Lady_starburst. I used to see an excellent psychologist about 6yrs ago. Unfortunately I'm no longer available to get to her because I now have MS & it's too far for me to attend her clinic.

Since writing this first post I'm now getting repressed memories of other things that were done to me. This inturn is affecting my intimacy with my husband. I really done have the strength to start with a new psychologist.

[Lady_Stardust]

I’m sorry to hear that you can reach her anymore and don’t feel you have the strength to start up with a new one. Have you considered online therapy? There are many places where you can talk to someone one-on-one, privately, and have instant conversation rather than waiting on replies here. Perhaps an option? I’m sure that there are also places that deal with talking about PTSD and trauma specifically.