Hello Hopee and welcome to the Forums. I've been here now since late December, and have found the knowledge, support and understanding of other members here a great comfort.
Sorry to hear that you suffer from social anxiety, it can be extremely isolating and distressing. Well done to you for seeking treatment for it and for continuing to see your therapist. How long have you been seeing your current therapist? You say that you are having difficulty in talking to her. Can you try to explain the main reason that is? For example, do you feel comfortable in her professional ability and do you trust her to do her best to help you? If its your anxiety preventing you from talking to her, then you'll likely have the same problem with any other psych as well. But provided you have confidence in her ability, you will be able to work together to help you to break down that communication wall.
I've only recently started to see a psychologist myself after many years of going through what sounds similar to what you are going through now - extreme anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, inability to sleep, bouts of depression, etc. I was diagnosed with complex PTSD as a result of an assault many years ago followed by ongoing domestic abuse.
The trouble with trauma is that it can 'hit' any time post the actual event. Some people do not suffer symptoms for many years, and then they are confronted with a seemingly unrelated stressful event which can bring it all back. It is very likely that your anxiety is caused by your previous trauma. Often it just bubbles beneath the surface for many years, and perhaps thats whats happening with you.
I know how hard it is to open up and talk about our traumatic experiences, I have so far only skirted around my story with my psych. I clam up, I cry my eyes out, I dissociate. Terribly difficult. But she is going gently at a pace I'm able to tolerate, and eventually I expect she will drag the full story out of me. But like I said, I've only been seeing her now for a short time. In the meantime she has encouraged me to write down what happened and to tell her that way. Even writing about what happened is difficult, but easier than verbalising it.
Our life member, Geoff, has given you some great advice. Write down what you wish to discuss with your psych. Even in brief point form is ok to get started, you can elaborate further later. But at least your psych knows there are further issues to explore.
Good luck.
Amanda
