Hi Universling. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation, and what you've been through.
My mother is also a narcissist, and my story is very similar to yours in many ways. I have had to estrange myself from family and friends to protect myself from her, and because I'll have nothing to do with her, she won't let my father see me either. I'm so sorry to hear that she's turned your daughter against you. That is exactly the reason I chose to never have kids. I knew she would do that, and knew I wouldn't be able to cope with it.
As far as why no-one can do anything about these people...Well, a lot of them are in jail for various reasons, but so many of them have such a good act (to anyone but their families), they get away with a lot, because people don't believe they can really be as bad as they are, if anyone even tells them. The whole world thinks my mother is a wonderful person, and especially a wonderful wife and mother, because she has put across that story all along. We, as kids, were in major trouble if we ever told anyone what she was like, so no-one ever found out. She was very physically abusive, as well as the emotional and verbal abuse. I have PTSD from her treatment, and still now, even though I'm older, I have a lot of problems in dealing with life in general, because I just seem to find a lot of things hard that other people seem to be able to ignore or cope with. I think it's safe to say that most of us who have narc. mothers will never fully get over it, and that justice will never be done in most cases, unfortunately. If people really understood what they were like, it would be easier to get them convicted of many things that they get away with.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and that there are people who understand, (especially on this site!) - I'm just a newbie.
Best wishes.
