FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Narcissistic abuse

Rowen13
Community Member

Okay it sounds stupid of me, so please no disparaging remarks. Because no one is more disgusted by stupidly and gullibility than me.

 

This is a long story and truly appreciate any who bothers to read the whole thing.

 

I met a guy on a depression app, I was suffering from excruciating anti-depressant pill withdrawals. At first he provided friendship and daily 11 hour texting. He was like my saviour when I had no real life friends or family to depend on. It wasn't a dating app so nothing that conspired was something I predicted nor gave a thought to.

 

My daily life with withdrawals was like walking through hell and he gave me endless support, kindness and advice. He told me from the start he was married and his wife cheated on him. In the early stages of friendship I tried to offer advice and suggestions about counselling etc.

 

Although I was uncomfortable he showered me with Christmas presents and then a birthday present. I told him to stop since it made me uncomfortable.

 

Months passed and a emotional bond was formed. He has two children and would show me videos of him feeding them or keep me informed of his activities as a dad. I use to ask him if he had anyone to help him and he would say no. He slowly painted a picture of somebody solely looking after his children and separated.

 

After awhile the compliments came forward and slowly the language became more as a partner not a friend.

 

I slowly developed feelings for him as we ended up being quite intimate. Only to discover after asking point blank about his wife and have him talk about her like it was an often spoken of topic. So all this time he lied by omitting his wife still did indeed live in the house.

3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

 

Most people if asked and for them to be honest, has gone through something similar. It's hurtful and hard to overcome.

 

Like grief after someones passing, it takes time and you are wiser now. Not unlike being scammed on the internet, one feels like a fool. You are not a fool. You have genuine feelings and you took a risk. There is nothing abnormal about your actions.

 

So to help you move on, try to be social, meet others in particular in the interests that you have. It isnt easy putting things down to experience, but you can, there isnt much anyone can do except talk about it. If you want to talk more just post again.

 

Sorry that's happened, you deserve better. If you need someone quickly to chat to ring the number at the bottom of this page.

 

TonyWK

Thanks for your support and advice. It's a common experience and I will live through it. Early days so still experiencing moments of pain and loss. But life is hard sometimes and I let time do It's thing 😊

Treat yourself weekly, be kind to yourself, it's not your fault

 

TonyWK