Loss of a loved one

[Bendemic]

On Saturday I found my best friend dead in his bedroom. He had some sort of fit and died in the room right next to mine. I didn’t discover him until the afternoon but had been home all day not realising he was there...

My body still trembles 6 days later. I’m experiencing ongoing anxiety for the first time. There are so many levels of guilt, anger and sadness and I just don’t know how to process it and move forward. It’s left such a void as he was someone I saw and spoke with everyday, someone I’ve been the most vulnerable with, and someone who I truly loved. I know it’s going to take time but I’m worried that the grief will swallow me. I once cherished my alone time but now it fills me with dread. When I’m with people I’ll have moments where Ill forget what had happened, then I’ll catch myself and feel guilty that I had a moment of normality. Something will happen and my first thought is I need to tell him but ...I can’t anymore. I had to move out of the house we lived in and I’m staying at my parents place, a place that use to be my home but now feels strange and unfamiliar. I just feel lost.
I don’t know what to do.. sorry if this is word vomit.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Bendemic,

Thank you for reaching out to our supportive community here tonight, we know that this is not an easy thing to do when you're feeling so low, but it's so important that you have. We are so sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your best friend. We can't imagine how devastated and upset you must feeling, but please know that you've come to a safe space and our thoughtful community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

We can hear that you're feeling in a really tough space right now, and we think it might really help to talk through these feelings. We'd really recommend getting in touch with our friends at Griefline on 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss, grief and/or trauma. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way, if this is something that you might find beneficial. 

We hope that you find some comfort in the words of kindness and care from our community, we're all here to help you through this.
 

[Ggrand]

Hello Bendemic,

A very warm welcome to the forums...

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your dear friend..and you finding him would have added so much more to your trauma...I know that no matter what words I write here will never be enough to express your devastation at loosing him..

I lost my husband 7 years ago, and there are times still now that I can start crying....For a few years the same happened to me..I got to get home to tell him about that..that has now faded off...

Grief is different for everyone, theirs no right way or wrong way to grieve for a loved one, nor is their a time limit..

Our lovely Sophie has given you a really good number with grief counselling..they are kind people and can be very helpful with helping us manage your grief...Please Benemic, If you need to..I also am urging you to give them a ring...Also Speaking to your Dr. can be helpful as well..They can set you up with a mental health care plan to help you through this sad period your going through...

We are here for you dear Denemic, Talk here anytime you feel up to...Our caring community will do all we can to help and support you the best we can...

My kindest and caring thought Denemic..

Grandy..

[Tay100]

Hi Bendemic

This certainly isn't a word vomit at all- every thought expressed here is valid and very understandable given what you are going through. We appreciate you being here and opening up to us about something very close and painful for you. It is never easy to go through a loss like this- online communities like this one can help you find resources to deal with it, help you implement general coping mechanisms, and seek out connections with people experiencing similar things, so you know you aren't alone and gain some valuable insight. If I may, it sounds like you benefit from seeing a professional to help you digest and manage your grief and feelings of 'being lost' in a healthy and productive way, at your own pace, of course. How does this sound?

Tay100