Living with the Legacy of Trauma

[Catie 08]

I've made some amazing progress this year working through my childhood trauma. I am no longer having flashbacks and when I recall the events I see them as if they are in the distance and in a fog instead of reliving them first hand. I am surprised however that I still have little control over my reactions. I still freeze up when I hear something triggering on the news and feel sick when I ready something in the paper, I still feel like I'm constantly on edge and just waiting to protect myself and constantly stressed and exhausted from the energy it takes to feel like this 24/7.. is there any hope of retraining myself to cope with the everyday stuff? 30 years of using these coping mechanisms to get through each day and now all of a sudden I feel like its working against me.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Thankyou for raising your problem as it is a common one.

Unfortunately these kinds of inground issues from childhood is quite permanent in my experience. I had a childhood trauma at 12yo (1968) and it was only in 2009 that a psychiatrist diagnosed me with dysthymia, a low mood constant depression pertaining to that illness alone. I also have bipolar 2. The dysthymia made me sad regularly and for all that time I didnt realise it was an illness even though I was suicidal many times and attempted once.

I dont mean to suggest giving up though. Any help you an get to sooth those memories is worth chasing. Acceptance is the way to go, like accepting you cannot run anymore if you lost a leg. This is, how life is sadly. To achieve acceptance pursue some motivational speaking lectures. Read positive thinking books even online.

Listen to these-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpfuMFsBgNk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X30sWycWz4o

I hope you like them. Repost anytime with your opinion.

TonyWK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Catie,

Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you've made some incredible progress and I seriously commend you for that. I promise you that your work hasn't gone unnoticed if you are not having flashbacks and memories feel like a fog in the distance.

Being triggered by the news or the paper does not mean that your coping skills are working against you, it just means there's a little more work to do.

The progress that you've made to help with the flashbacks and the memories helps your body and your brain to feel safer. While you may know logically that you're safe now, it's learning that it truly is safe now. I imagine that a while ago the news or the paper would have triggered a flashback? What coping skills were you using?

I know that it's hard, and as someone with PTSD in therapy I feel constantly exhausted too. People don't get the energy that it takes just to cope day to day. But I can see that you've seen things change, so it's even more proof more things can change.

I hope this helps; I know that it's hard but we can support you here.

rt

[ecomama]

Hey Catie!

"...is there any hope of retraining myself to cope with the everyday stuff?"

YES there is!

Absolutely!

You're reaping the rewards from your work already. Nightmares are goneskis. Awesome.

I've also been diagnosed with C-PSTD and I felt it controlled almost my every movement a year ago.
I did lots of stuff to diminish it all and I feel really good now!

The first impulse I had to write to you was about being safely touched.

But there are so many ways you can help yourself recover!

Love EM