Introduction - Hello Everyone

[Guest_498]

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum. I'd like to introduce myself. I'm 40 years of age, female. My interests include music (any genre), reading a great novel, watching comedy, Restuaranting, and learning new things. I suffer from depression and anxiety. Depression feels very lonely for me. I'd like to reach out for some support. Thank you.

[Guest_498]

I hope all is alright with Y - do you know whats caused it today?
Workibg full time next year might just be what you need, financially. Sounds good.

[ecomama]

Hi dear Blubes!

I finally found your post on my thread and finally responded it also!
Thankyou for your patience.

Y... yes. She triggers at school, not ever feeling safe. They allowed the perp on to school grounds so many times.
Now her favourite brother and his gf are no longer there, it's even worse for her.

So it's anxiety. It manifests as stomach cramps and feeling ill.

Other stuff with school too.

I spoke with her tonight about ditching formal education altogether for a few years and going with a Traineeship or such with her work to get out of the Ed system. She's too young she said.
She's SO intelligent but as you and I know, with high anxiety (possibly PTSD) the whole studying thing / thinking straight is far too much of a challenge.

She needs to heal.

Taking that pressure off her and allowing her to breathe... would be my only next best idea.

I'll speak with the Deputy at her school and see what they know. We need info and direction.

I've run out of strategies tbh. And no children's SA psychs available. None have helped so far, they were too brutal or far too soft. She needs a "just right" one as we all do.

She LOVES work. Hence the Traineeship idea. Working at a take away may only be fun for X amount of time but if she loves it then GREAT!
She feels safe.
Protected.
Nurtured.
There are some absolutely sterling young people working there... absolutely the cream of that generation for sure.
She needs this. This is how she is. Not how school is. Not for her.

That's it in a nutshell lol

NB: I've decided not to get false eyelashes! They would bother my eyes too much. Plus an expense I'm not doing atm.

I'll keep painting my nails though! 😉

What are you doing for self-care sweety pie?

Love EM

[Guest_498]

Hey Ems,

That sounds like a bloody FANTASTIC idea for Y!! A traineeship would be the way for her. Such things as Office Administration does exist with traineeships - it'll best prepare her for the work environment, together with study sounds like a perfect opportunity for her. Another idea would be an apprenticeship, say in motor mechanic? Women can get into this trade if they're willing to get their hands dirty. You're full of great ideas Ems. You're such a BEAUTIFUL mum!!

Yeh, falsies are EXPENSIVE! It's an expense I can justify though (though I've been without them since Febraury when covid hit)!! lol.

Self care: - I've an app't with hairdresser's tomorrow afternoon - yay! - My cute 'dirty' (coz he's a mechanic) flatmate moved in this evening and spent time chatting with him. I helped him unpack, made his bed. He took care of dinner tonight. Guess what it was? Yup, pizza. Was yummy. What is he like so far? He's a sweetie. I'm not just saying that, but he is. He's polite and honestly, not in my face in the slightest. He gives me space and he's great to talk to. So far so good. I hope he doesn't change.

And, to confirm, his eyes are blue.

Blubes xx

[ecomama]

Lol that's so wonderful your flattie is lovely. I really hope this is a great relationship for you!

Onwards and upwards right?

Oh I don't begrudge anyone anything so go do your cute falsies asap! Are these shops open in Vic yet?

Awesome a hairdressing appt TOMORROW AFTERNOON omg. I'm so happy for you.
You're gonna feel like a new woman! New Super Woman I should've said lol.

Uncle Croix and Blondguy responded to you on my thread... I'll echo all their sentiments about being on the forums. It can be too much sometimes and that's OKAY.

I also really try to spend time in the Wellbeing sections too... Sleepy21 and I have posted on my 'Three self-care things' thread. It's pretty fun getting into those far more positive threads.
It kinda gives you back the energy to get into the nitty gritty ones - when we can handle it ofcourse.

No pressure to do any of them tbh.

Do as you please!

I really appreciate your support, friendship, encouragement and every suggestion you (and anyone) make. It's really valued as you are too.

Btw I couldn't get the visual of eating a kebab in your car out of my head lol... sounds awesomely yummy!

Love EM

[Guest_1643]

Hey Blubs, sounds like you are getting more of an idea of his character and he's really chilled and not confronting personality - did he move in fully yet?

That is so nice you got in to get a haircut - great self care and a nice treat after lockdowns!

did you get a lot cut off??
I'm scared I'll get so impulsive and cut off a lot of my long hair when I go - because I'm just so over lockdown split ends! I hope you are having a good transition period with ur new flattie and feeling well - thinkig of you xx

[ecomama]

Hey girls

Blubes, do you like your new hairdo?

"lockdown split ends" sounds funny but it's not! Hope you get a new do too Sleepy21.
I had my long hair cut off just before shut down, it was really annoying me lol.

It's only shoulder length now but can still put it up to do physical work, so I'm happy.

Y is working tonight and feeling alot better after our "ditch education" talk last night... she has O.D.D. so this may not have created the reaction I was thinking... I think she's set on staying at school now... go figure.
Anyway she's brighter today.

I'll continue chucking things out in prep for moving rooms. Dinner will be a frozen dinner if I can help it since everyone's working tonight.

Nice weather today for our favourite State I hear!

That's awesome. Hope you enjoy the sunshine lovelies because you're all my sunshine here.

Love EM

[Guest_498]

Hey beautiful women,

Just got back from getting a hair-cut and grocery shopping - got some fruits and fruit juices. It's a beautiful day today here in Melbourne. I do love my hair. It was just a trim, had 3cm off the front layers, and 5cm off the length. Sleepy, if you have long hair as I do (mine tapers down to the small of my back), going short is always a shock to the system. I avoid going short. I went home crying once 'coz the lady cut it far too short when I asked for a trim. Now, every time I go, I TELL them what to do!! Also, keep in mind when your hair dries, the length will slightly shrink too. I like shoulder length hair - it's still considered long (for some ppl). I can't recall when my hair has ever been that short. Hmm I think primary school. Was long time ago.

Ems: "Btw I couldn't get the visual of eating a kebab in your car out of my head lol... sounds awesomely yummy!" Btw I couldn't get the visual of eating a kebab in your car out of my head lol... sounds awesomely yummy!" Lol. Yeh, I got used to doing that during covid. There were heap others doing exactly the same. It looked funny.

"Y is working tonight and feeling alot better after our "ditch education" talk last night... she has O.D.D. so this may not have created the reaction I was thinking... I think she's set on staying at school now... go figure.
Anyway she's brighter today". Excellent, she's feeling better today. Really happy to hear that.

Ems, you don't go back to work until Monday now, is that right?

Blubes x

[ecomama]

Yep! Next Monday is my next work day (atm). I'll be full time next year to start with anyway lol.

I'm happy you like your haircut Blubes, sounds really pretty!

About 10y ago I asked the hairdresser to do a "Number 1" on my hair and dye it black.
She refused to cut (shave) my long hair that short... I insisted but we argued lol.

Eventually I said if she didn't, I'd go to the Barber's next door and THEY wouldn't have a problem with it.

I think she did a Number 2 lol.... sounds awful but I meant the LENGTH.

Anyway I SUPER SUPER LOVED it.

I was told I was ugly by demon so I decided to go all out and shave my head.
It was a middle finger to societal, probably more marital at the time, expectations of how I "was supposed to look like" etc.

Noice! I liked it lol!

On the hair note... do you have to straighten it every day?

🙂 EMxxxx

[Guest_498]

The number 2 wouldve been a stinker!! Ahaha. Lol. Some ppl suit with really, really short hairdo, even a number 2!! Im not one of those ppl. Id look uggs as. I wouldn't be that daring. That was brave of you. But lucky hair grows pretty fast! Did you get used to the look after a while?
I dont ever straighten my hair. On the contrary .. Id curl the ends. I have straight hair.

[ecomama]

Hi Blubes... OH I LOVED IT... I was called ugly so I went the whole hog.

Absolutely very short hair suits alot of ppl.
Not me but I loved it just the same.

I've got wavy hair. So I can wash it and bounce it up or straighten it.

Y had hair almost to her knees last year... like Rapunzel lol. She'd never had her hair cut.
Then she cut it off herself!
Then Alexa cut it to straighten it.
Then I took her for her first hairdressing appt fast!

Now she's dyed it BLUE lol! It looks really nice actually.

Oh Blubes, she must be feeling SO MUCH better... she's now playing her guitar AND singing.

Being the hard line mama last night must have helped?
Oh IDK... this parenting thing gets me beat some times lol.

My Counsellor is REALLY helpful for the things that gobsmack me lol. But I follow my instincts most of the time.

I'm glad you're getting into the political scene. It suits you and seems to ignite a specific passion in you, doesn't it?

I'd rather be in my garden even WITH all the creepy crawlies lol... you like creepy crawlies of a different nature!

No. I'm not telling you my insect adventures this week. I think you'd throw up.

I gotta hit the sack.

I'm planning to visit my friend T tomorrow. Hope I get there lol.

Love EM