Introduction - Hello Everyone

[Guest_498]

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum. I'd like to introduce myself. I'm 40 years of age, female. My interests include music (any genre), reading a great novel, watching comedy, Restuaranting, and learning new things. I suffer from depression and anxiety. Depression feels very lonely for me. I'd like to reach out for some support. Thank you.

[ecomama]

Hi monkey_magic

Which section is your thread in?

What's it called?

Bestest wishes with your car loan!

Love EM

[monkey_magic]

Heya,

Thread called, should I suck this up

In, long term support section

[Guest_498]

Hey Monkey,
Yes I'm so over the lockdown, it won't ease till end of September and businesses wont resume till mid October. It's really boring, especially when I'm not working either. On top of that I have NO friends. I've only got my flatmate to talk to. It's ok when he's around & when he talks.
I'm doing ok I suppose. I just received my new pc and will continue my letter of complaint when I can get my head right. It'll trigger me mentally, though.
What car have you got in mind? And goodluck with the loan.
So in September 2017 you were put in a pschiatric ward for breaking an entering your friends property? I'm sorry to hear that. It was hard for me to read it tbh because what happened to you is the FEAR I live every day - meaning the fear that I'll be set up for something next. Idk what it'll be. Framed for prison? I FEAR being set up again. The CAT team & my sick family have left me paranoid.
There are questions I'd like to ask but let me read all the threads in your post first.
Love xx

[Guest_498]

Last night's dinner was a prawn salad with french dressing; lentil soup that my flatemate's mum cooked - had that with rosemary foccacia (my neighbour kindly gave me).
Tonight's dinner .. I'm not sure yet.

[monkey_magic]

Oh Blubes it will take U forever to read my whole thread. You really don't have to. I usually read the last few posts of long ones and go from there, sometimes I'll read the whole lot though.

But yeh that's exactly what happened. I didn't break n enter. My car was parked in the driveway and I was allowed to b there while he was at work.

They blindsided me at the tribunal and said I was illegally entering properties...um...nup...not true at all.

And I have the same fear...that I'll be set up for something worse.

When you've been unfairly blamed before you become much more wary of things.

[Guest_498]

Magic,
Okay so I won't go through the threads if it'll take too long. May I ask you questions though? If you don't want to relive the trauma & don't want to talk, that will be ok. Talk only if you want to.
Yeh, I'm super paranoid. But I'm safe for now (I think) as I have nothing to do with my toxic mother or her family (her daughter & son. I don't regard these ppl as my siblings). They're not family. I have no family. I'll be even safer once I take myself off the CATs system. These acronym gives me nightmares & night terrors. I get extreme nightmares - they wont dissipate. I wake up in sweats and fear. All I can see whenever I wake from these nightmares are evil looking nurses, doctors, me in hopital tied down, syringe & pills.

[Guest_498]

Unjustifiably blamed for things you havent done or said is the story of my life for as long as I can remember. I lived with a narcissistic sister, remember?
A series of unfortunate events encompass a lot of trauma, anxiety, fear, paranoia, severe depression and mental anguish. I'm still living with these emotions on a daily basis. I can't imagine what youve been through and continue to endure. No, you shouldn't suck it up. You just have to learn how to manage it. Patience is key here.

[mocha delight]

Hi blueberry and monkey_magic I’m sorry to hear some of the stuff you’ve both been through as you definitely don’t deserve it 🤗. And blueberry you do have a family ie us your bb family 🤗. Yes I to am paranoid & don’t trust anyone at all ( I hope none of you take it personally) after how my gastroligist specialist treated me and having a narcissist as a grandmother & how she’s treated me my whole life as well from what I remember. And ecomama how have you been doing?

[ecomama]

Oh God I saw the how are you ecomama after I read back to where I left off here last...

Firstly, we are family. I feel like crying out of pain & gratitude for having you all. I call myself an orphan. But if I could choose my family, it would be you guys. huge hugs.

Well my gardener came, I could talk forever about my garden lol (deflection) but I will stick to the point.

I read back.
Cheeses.
We have all been through so much similar stuff.

Isn't it major BS?

I was accused of "pimping" my children. MY CHILDREN omg ANYONE'S CHILDREN!!!

OH MY GOD. OMG!!!

I am SO AGAINST ANY thing closely related to "pimping" that I don't even buy CAGED EGGS ffs.
I NEVER buy pets from breeders - same deal.

My whole life I've been super overly protective of children most esp. People with disabilities & poor defenceless animals. This is my LIFE in a nutshell - my chosen career, my own family, my children's friends I offer sanctuary to.

I would not be here by my own hand if I even THOUGHT of ever doing something so despicable. So abhorrent.

I used to be against Capital punishment but now I KNOW that I would feel honoured to be the person to end lives of IDK 5000 per day of those who harm children in this way.

14 pages of false reports against me. A person who's devoted their life to protecting children.

AND yes the ridiculous bs continues today. Eldest D phoned me shaking after hanging up on my mother (her gmother). You won't even believe what this lunatic demanded, grandmother not ED lol. Not asked. DEMANDED.

And we are all supposed to be puppets to her sick "needs"? NO WAY.

There's a letter on my bench unopened. I received it yesterday. The kids were excited I'd received a letter, but I saw the handwriting immediately & knew I couldn't open it. I'll get another adult to open it, maybe my uncle who is coming on Sunday, maybe.

Decades of this.
"Mother" convinced the "judge" (of what IDK... FAIRY LAND) that I was the mentally ill person, so she was released from prison. The Police couldn't even get an AVO on her! It had taken 5 of them to forcibly remove her from MY home. She was having an episode all day in MY home. I can't say more, it would be easy to ID me from here.

I've never responded to ANY communication from her since. Out of protection. Not malice.

Now I'm angry. Thinking ALL of my children should bow to that?

I don't need that ONE iota. Not for a nanosecond would I face that or speak to it.

I love you all. I'm sorry we've been so abused.

EM

[Guest_498]

Hello Mocha, Ems & Monkey,

yes we've all been through very similar experiences with gaslighting, manipulation, lies and blame being put on us by the ones we loved and by others. It really SUCKS!! Sorry to hear about your nanna, Mocha. Narcissists ought to be locked up forever (not capital punishment, as that would be an easy way out for them. I wouldn't get satisfaction knowing they didn't suffer the way we have before their passing). And Ems, 14 pages of false reports against you and claims of "pimping" your children? OMG!! If it wasn't so serious it would've been hilarious!

My medical records and claims made by my family and the CAT Team include: I'm crazy, I'm bi-polar, I'm schizophrenic, I assaulted someone, I damaged someone's property, I tried to commit suicide, I self-harmed, I'm paranoid & hypervigilant and always looking over my shoulders, I'm psychotic. OMG!! Like seriously, OMG!!!!!!! ffs, I don't have any of these conditions nor did I assault or damage anyone or any properties. It's beyond ridiculous!! I endeavor to have the CATs Psychiatrist's license revoked!!!! I'm furious thinking about it now. And, the humiliation from being asked "did something happen to you as a child, is that why you're into s&m"? OMGosh!!! I'm even into that (this came from my ex-partner, I know it). He denies being involved, but I know. As you've said Ems, you know who said what. I knew who were involved 100%.

Guys, you are my family and I love you all too xx

Monkey, didn't your friend stick up for you and tell police that you had permission to be in his home? How did this come about? Is this where you tried to end your life, as you've told me earlier? (please answer only if you want to, ok?).

Blubes