Introduction - Hello Everyone

[Guest_498]

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum. I'd like to introduce myself. I'm 40 years of age, female. My interests include music (any genre), reading a great novel, watching comedy, Restuaranting, and learning new things. I suffer from depression and anxiety. Depression feels very lonely for me. I'd like to reach out for some support. Thank you.

[Guest_498]

Heya Mocha,
Its 1am now and I'm still awake. I cried last night and didn't cope well. I didn't sleep till early morning. I'm doing ok .. Feeling better today though. Had a fun evening with my flatemate over dinner. I cooked and he cleaned the dishes. Watched a bit of tele together and spoke for a little while.
Is there anything you want to talk about? Or are you feeling out of sorts and miserable?
Xx

[ecomama]

Hi Blubes, Mocha and monkey_magic and others... (you may post too!)

Maybe it's "in the stars" this LOW low feeling... it's been happening for me for over 2 weeks now.
I've been all over the place alot of times. Yesterday was an awfully good example of that.

Thankyou for saying to spice it up a little with bf... we miss being with each other so much but seldom say that because at first during these long separations both of us would end up crying, so we made a pact to not say "I miss you" and such much at all. Just try to stay positive.

It's at the point where bf has depression and I am drawn into my own depressive moods often in these low times. He's a very positive talker but when I'm busy it's all too much. Our time difference doesn't help.

I couldn't shift a horrible headache for 2 days now... took today off to deal.

I've been UP since 1am and we spoke at length and talked about breaking up then opened up about everything bothering and niggling at "us" as a couple.

Why were you upset Blubes?
I saw you were feeling low too mocha, what's happening?

I'm going to nap and then cutting up a whole fresh pineapple & rockmelon etc lol.

Love EM

[mocha delight]

Don’t know just having one of those low mood periods I guess

[Guest_498]

I'm sorry to hear you spoke about breaking up. At least you are addressing your problems and talking about them. In the relationships I've had, there was NEVER any discussions about anything I felt, and it would invariably end up with me leaving without as much as a break up speech. I would simply leave when I've had enough. Perhaps that's my downfall but I don't believe in talking things through once my heart is no longer in it. It serves no purpose. Throughout the relationship, if my feelings didn't matter then and I was not valued, then what would be the point of talking especially when I've had enough?
Ems, the last few weeks my trauma has flared up terribly. I cry most nights thinking about what happened to me. I cry whilst I pray to God for the truth to come out and these people be held accountable. My mood has been at its low ebb lately - its been shocking.
I hope you're at least resting up on your day off today. Perhaps get in the garden to distract your mind (but NO strenuous work, under no circumstances missy)!! Youve done ebough of that!!!

[ecomama]

Hi mocha

It wasn't until I joined the forums, I found out we can have anxiety and depression at the same time. Or I didn't understand what anxiety really was or meant. I really thought it was just feeling anxious, I had NO idea it was accompanied with so many physical symptoms that run riot etc. Which I've had alot of... for a long time.

I also didn't understand that PTSD came under the anxiety umbrella but it's extreme in its own way.

So this year I was formally diagnosed with PTSD - Complex PTSD to be precise AND when I saw the psych report (my Dr just printed out for me when I asked lol)... I saw "possible depressive mood disorder" - which I still haven't googled to see whether that means depression or it's it's own thing. I didn't feel depressed at all when I was seeing her so that's pretty alarming that she wrote that tbh. I guess I should do this now while I feel pretty crap already lol. Googling depression is so depressing lol.

Yeah I've also realised I need to track my monthly cycle. I had a contraceptive device removed this year and it all returned with a massive bang after not having to deal for 3 years.
So I know that is really affecting my moods big time.
Apparently there are apps for that?
I must get one of my kids to download one to my phone.

Speaking of apps.... my eldest D showed me her Stellarium app and it was SO beautiful!
You face your phone to the sky in any weather and the app shows what planets are in the sky and the constellations... with stories from different cultures. EVEN the Dreamtime which I was SO impressed about!
I want to get that app more than the cycle one lol.

Well I'm seeing someone tomorrow because I've injured my neck and my headaches just won't budge. So I'm having tomorrow off work too - ugh grrr.

Have you tried anything else to help you sleep on top of your meds?

Love EM

[Guest_498]

Mocha, it just happens sometimes. I get low moods for no reason too. Sometimes there could be an underlying issue that hasn't been brought to the forefront of our psyche, and at times they'll be triggers.
Hang in there. 🙂
Love x

[Andrewlastname]

Hi all, I’ve never faced depression before (although I have faced major trauma and PTSD) but was recently diagnosed with depression. I am in my 5th year dealing with a terminal cancer and although I have a wonderful supportive family, I am getting more and more lost as the things that make me who I am feel like they strip away. I can no longer work (and I was lucky in that I loved my job) and have no energy to do hobbies. I can’t be bothered with the things I can do like watch tv or do creative hobbies like puzzles, and overall the battle just gets too much sometimes. Not sure if I’ll be back here again or not but I just thought I’d send this out to the universe. I lost my daughter to a heart condition 10 years ago and at that time a forum of other dads who had also lost kids helped a lot, so thought this might help again. I have pills to help but so far I can’t tell any difference. Anyway, thanks for listening/ reading.

[ecomama]

Hi Andrewlastname

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter, what a sad sad thing to go through for you and you all.
Also the diagnosis for you now. You are doing really well getting through this.

I warmly welcome you to the forums and I am so sorry for the reasons that brought you here.

You are most welcome to post here and anywhere.
There are lots of interesting threads in the Wellbeing sections also which may help with how you're feeling.

In my saddest times I found that growing things raised my spirits so much. Planting things for the future made my heart sing. I kind of went a bit WILD planting trees and I really paying for it now lol. I also love to grow herbs in big pots near the kitchen, which are the most tastiest addition to cooking. Yum. I was diagnosed with leukemia a while back. Now I have a MASSIVE macadamia nut tree that's aiming to be the biggest tree in the neighbourhood ugh.

Warm welcome again
EM

[Guest_498]

Hi Andrewlastname,
I hope you stay on forum for support. I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your daughter and that youve been diagnosed with depression. I couldn't even begin to tell you what that would be like. Ciping with loss is always painful.
I was diagnosed with depression 6 years ago and battled ever since. The antidepressants won't kick in right away .. Itll take at least 2 weeks to take effect. In the meantime, hang in there.
Are you in remission with the cancer now? I can't provide sypport with cancer but I can try my best to support you through your journey with depression.
Welcome.
Bluberry (Blubes).

[monkey_magic]

Hey Blubes,

Yeh I'm ok, just finished work. I'll b even better if I can get a loan approved tomorrow for a new car. Will b a happy girl.

How have u been lately?

Today I've caught the train for the first time in ages. Beats driving sometimes.

I update everyone on my thread should I suck this up in the long term support section if u were interested in my journey. Been here at BB for approx 3 1/2 years. I don't mind replying where I think I can help/ support. Gives me a purpose I guess.

Plus I like writing lol.

My dinner is going to be battered fish tonight. Hope ur hanging in there with lock down. U must b so so over it.