I’m worried about my friend.

[Gothamfan]

Hi everyone, I haven’t been on here in so long but I need to talk about my friend. 

I was at a small party just with my close friends and the topic of sexual harassment came up, and my friend and I were drunk and she mentioned how her family member had tried to assault her. I asked her what happened and she described it to me, I asked if he had assaulted her or tried to, she described the situation and said she has blanks in her memories, but from what she said it sounds like he did. She also said that she went to her mother and she didn’t believe her. After this I was talking to her about it alone and she broke down and told me another incident with different family member. She broke down and kept saying it didn’t happen over and over and I don’t know what to do so I just kept saying I believe you and hugging her. She just went out after that and acted like nothing happened.

Im so worried about her and I don’t know what to do, she says she can’t talk to her family and she can’t see a therapist so I just don’t know how to help her.

I would appreciate any advice on how to talk to her or what to say, or how to deal with the situation, I seriously do not know what to do, I know I can’t fix her or anything but I want to support her best I can.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Gothamfan

Thanks for sharing your story here. What a great friend you are wanting to best support your friend through this difficult time, 

Here is some information on supporting someone experiencing sexual harm
https://www.1800respect.org.au/violence-and-abuse/sexual-assault-and-violence/support


For counselling and information for anyone affected by family and sexual violence, we’d recommend reaching out to our friends at 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732, or online: https://www.1800respect.org.au/

Or 

If your friend is under 25 Kids Helpline can support your friend, they can be contacted on 1800 55 1800 or https://kidshelpline.com.au/ 24/7

They will be able to provide a safe space to share your experiences and offer any support you may need, and they can also connect you with local agencies for practical support, if that’s helpful.

You are of course welcome to call our Support Service at any time on 1300 22 4636 or online: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor

Thanks again for sharing here. We're so sorry this has happened, but we're glad you could share here. 

If you would like any more information on using the Forums safely, and how moderation works, you can find our posting rules here: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/community-rules 

Kind regards,   

ModSupport

[Scared]

By saying you believe her and hugging her is the best thing you can do.  You could add that if they ever need to talk about it you are always there to listen.  Sometimes this is the best help you can give. 

[GimZim]

I understand this is a really tricky and upsetting situation for you, it's hard to know what to do in these circumstances but I just want to say I think telling them you believed them probably helped immensely, I think for most victims not being believed is always our biggest fear.