I Am Officially Broken

[Daniel_F]

Been to Hell and back too many times lately.

My ex partner who i live with is a heavy drinker and has also become a frequent ice user over the past few months.

His violent outbursts have become unbearable.

We were given one last chance with our real estate back in Feb with a little one bedroom flat.

I lived there for the first 7 weeks by myself (he was in jail for a few months).

I looked after the place like nothing else. Within the space of 2 months of him getting out of jail the place looks like a bomb hit it. Holes and gashes out of walls, bedroom door destroyed, main door, screen door, bathroom door all damaged, oven door damaged. Big screen TV destroyed + the small TV & playstation and other smaller items.

I am only on the DSP, and i have also accumulated $5000 debt trying to make up for his lack of financial contributions due to his alcohol/drug use.

We have been in a temporary 2 bedroom house for the past few weeks due to storm damage on the other property. He has already had several violent outbursts here and done even more damage.

He is asleep now but today has been the worst in a while. I just know that more damage will happen.

I am the only one on the lease.

I just feel like running. But no where to go.

I am against getting vaxxed and think on Dec 15th i just need to take off and leave this all behind me.

I really don't know what to do

😞

[Daniel_F]

I am a guy by the way.

I have been diagnosed with scizophrenia since 1999. I don't hear voices but suffer from bad paranoia and depression. But my biggest issue i think is my social anxiety/paranoia. I struggle to leave the front door. I can go for many days or weeks without leaving the front door.

I really feel as though i am in an impossible situation here.

I just wish i could be put into a safe place on my own where i am in control of my environment and start healing. Every time i start making progress something bad happens and i lose all hope and neglect myself. This year alone i have had dozens and dozens of days where i didn't eat/drink water or shower.

I am worn out. I have no strength.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Daniel F, 

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

We are sorry to hear that things have been so difficult with your ex partner and his violent outbursts.  We understand this must be such a hard time for you, so please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 who provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities.

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it

[Summer Rose]

Hi Daniel

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry that you are struggling with your mental health issues, an outcome which is clearly exacerbated by the “impossible situation” you now find yourself in.

I am really concerned about you. It sounds as though your partner is very unpredictable, troubled and violent. It must be so difficult and dangerous for you to live with him in your home. You deserve so much better.

I believe that it’s really important for you to try to protect yourself—physically, emotionally, psychologically and financially. And I’d like to encourage you to call 1800 RESPECT, so that you can speak with a specially trained counsellor in domestic violence. The service helps both men and women.

If you really want “a safe place on your own” they should be able to help you formulate a plan and achieve that goal.

Of course, please don’t hesitate to ring 000 if you feel you’re in danger or if it’s an emergency.

I know this is really hard for you. I really wish there was more that I could do to help. But please know that you are not alone.

Kind thoughts to you

[geoff]

Hello Daniel F, I am so sorry you are caught up not with your own illness but having to put up with your partner as it must be very difficult to be in this position.

There may be a couple of ways to get out of this situation, your partner may well be out of order and be violating his bail if one was placed on him, secondly, if you have been moved into a 2 bedroom house because the previous flat has been storm damaged, this may have a clause where you can break the lease, thirdly you can get an AVO placed on him where he isn't able to come anywhere near you, if he does then he might be put back into gaol.

Another way is if the real estate have given you one last warning in Feb, then it's possible you'll have to leave, unfortunately, this will affect you from being able to rent, but it doesn't stop you from living with someone else.

These are decisions for you to think about, whether you want to be with this person who damages everything and may be causing you to have some of your illness or to be free where you can then get the help you need.

I know it puts you at the crossroad but we are here to help you through this.

Take care.

Geoff.