As background information I was diagnosed with PTSD related to being caught in a bushfire a child. Most of the time I am fine but find hot weather particularly if the fire danger is high I struggle. For the last week it has been hot and now my husband who I care for is sick. I am currently on some medication for a physical health issue which is making me feel blah! On top of that I am tired from lack of sleep due to heat & some health issues.
Last night was very hot (although fire danger wasn't severe) & my husband was coughing & sounding very ill. This led to a very broken sleep. At one point I had a horrible dream about a bushfire where I couldn't think straight enough to organise myself so I could leave before too late. I found when I woke up I was still half in the dream & spent the rest of the night worrying about how useless I was. When I got up I was still breathing fast & feeling very shakey due to the anxiety & bad feelings brought on by the dream. I know it was a dream but that didn't stop it triggering the negative beliefs about myself caused by the original fire. Thoughts include feeling guilty & useless because I didn't do anything to help as a child with the dream reinforcing the fact that I still can't deal with situations where I need to act as a competent adult to prevent harm to myself or others. This then morphs into feeling useless anyway. I feel like when it is hot my life is put on hold. I'm unable to do anything useful and I can't do anything enjoyable. Summer stretches in front like a prison sentence.
Does anyone else relate to this.
