Drowning in Depression

[Kazbell]

I have suffered this for over 30 years, but have never had it as bad as this. Married to an alcoholic for 25 years who has emotionally and psychologically abused me and our 16yo daughter to the point where she has freaked out so bad that we had to call police to take her to hospital. While there they questioned me about his alcoholism and i finally broke down and told them everything going on, daughter and i both gave statements and the following day husband was served with a family violence intervention order and removed from house. Our court case was last Thursday and i was not allowed to attend as it was police who served not me. He was given a 6 month complete no communication order.
Now i find my self grieving as if he has died, i am unable to stop crying, have missed days off work and am unable to cope in anyway...i just want to talk to him, explain not my fault and i want him home...i am in physical pain and feel i cannot go on without him...i miss him, his presence and i do not know how to get past this, i cannot cope, i need him back...i know i need help but live rural vic so no immediate help at hand. Have tried helplines but seem to get "i inderstand" types...i need aggressive help now...be here with me...if anyone can help or offer support please do. Thanks

[Sophie_M]

Hi Kazbell, 

Welcome to our friendly Beyond Blue online community. We're so glad you have reached out here today, we know this can be hard to do for the first time especially, so we are really grateful that you chose to. We are so sorry to hear about what you have been going through, it sounds like a really tumultuous time and we can hear that you are in a lot of pain at the moment. 

We can hear that you have been trying helplines but are not finding them to be beneficial for you. Can we ask what you mean by more aggressive help?

We would suggest that it might be worth trying to find more ongoing mental health support with a professional. If you can book a consultation with your GP they will be able to help you with a referral. Otherwise, if you are having trouble finding appropriate services due to living rurally, we would suggest getting in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service as the professional counsellors can offer support, advice, and referrals that are most appropriate for your area and your situation. You can get in contact with them on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

Many of our members have felt similar and will be able to talk through these feelings with you.  If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help you get through this difficult time.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Kazbell,

Welcome to the forums and I too appreciate you reaching out. It sounds like you haven't really felt heard by other support services so I hope this one is a little different. Like Sophie_M I also want to know what you mean by aggressive help too.

I'd love to try and offer some help or support but if it's okay first I just want to better understand what's happening for you.

In your post you wrote how your husband emotionally and psychologically abused you, and also how you miss him and want him back. Is there a part of you that regrets talking to the police? Or a part of you that still wanted to be with your husband even if it meant being continually abused too? I'm asking these questions not out of judgement but just to better see what things are like for you. Maybe you feel this way or maybe you don't - that's okay. It can be possible (and even normal) to feel like maybe you want your husband back while also knowing that what you did was a good thing to keep yourself safe too ?

I hope this post makes sense. There's lots of support here for you in these forums so I hope that you'll find what you need here.

rt