Dehumanising experience at doctors

[PinkFeather]

Today I drove 3 hours to the doctors to get my psych re-evalutation. I am falling apart. It's official, I'm experiencing anxiety at unprecedented levels. To get there wasn't easy. You see I had to travel with my husband whom I'm on the brink of breaking up with...the icing upon so much trauma it doesn't even bear thinking about.

The necessity for this second dr's trip was because the first time, said husband had a melt-down and punched a car in the street... all before my all important dr's appoint. Yes, I felt I had been purposely derailed. Needless to say, I'm a blithering mess at the appointment and the dr gives me meds and walks me to reception to make the next appointment. Next appointment (today) I arrive and they've changed dr's on me, and as he isn't my normal dr, said he couldn't give me a psych assessement so I can get a referral for some much needed help.

Again I'm a blithering mess with this unknown dr today, who instead of apologising to me, just rings the receptionist and blasts her instead. Between tears I explain it's a 6 hour round trip and I don't have my own transport.

On a positive note the meds are starting to help; they make me feel vulnerable thinking that I need to rely on them, so I was stubborn to seek help again on this front. They are working and I'm glad that I did.

Love and blessings to you all.

[Guest_342]

Hello Pink Feather,
How upsetting that must have been, especially when you had such anticipation of things panning out well during your trip.
I'm glad to hear the medication is going well. I have been taking something for my anxiety for a number of years now - I too voiced my concerns initially that I felt like taking medication was a cop-out and a failure on my part to cope with life's ups and downs. But I was told that so many people have similar needs and it's not a weakness at all to take medicines - it's simply the way some of us are wired, to excessively worry. So many people take medication for a range of things - headaches, high blood pressure, etc. and mine is for my anxiety which, while not a physical condition per se, is just as important for me to to nip in the bud and keep under control because, in turn, it can take a massive toll on me physically.
Sorry for my rambling... hope it helps 🙂
Best wishes, and big hugs.

[Jstar49]

Hi pink feather,

Wow, sweetie can I give you a virtual hug? That sounds truly awful! I think I would have been a mess too. I hope you're doing some really good self-care ( I noticed you have been popping in to the self care thread) to help yourself recover from your traumatic experience. Sometimes for me it feels like all my nerve endings get fried and it takes time and gentleness (and self care!) before I can be properly in this world again.

The whole situation sounds really difficult.

You sound very self aware throughout it all, I noticed some good boundary settings in your other posts.

My H is hard work sometimes- can tend to indulge in his own emotions and experiences. Not very supportive. And we're not young, so for us it's a lot of work to create new habits. We've found the most fantastic counsellors which really helps. But then again he made the decision finally to attend counselling with me, so he wants to change. Does your H express any desire for the relationship to work better?

It's great that the medication is helping. Even if it's just for now, to soften out the edges and help you cope while learning new skills and strategies. My sister in law has found CBT to be really helpful for anxiety. And there's a neat 5 senses exercise for calming a panic attack- concentrating on observing smell, sight, sound, taste, and touch. I'm guessing it's very grounding. Like gardening 😉

Big hugs!

J*

[Tammy_]

It sounds like you have a lot going on and you were let down at the doctors both times resulting in you being a blithering mess which is totally understandable! You went there for help and left feeling misunderstood and not heard and the tablets must feel like a band-aid. I too have anxiety and feel the same about them however they are what keeps me going while I put into practice other things on a daily routine like meditation, walking etc things that I enjoy for myself that are good for myself. It sounds like you are in the process of breaking up with your husband, whether that's your decision or not, these tablets will be of great help during this traumatic time. It sounds like you rely on him to get around which must make it ever harder for you but please know there are services and people out there that do listen and can help you and your situation.
Love and blessings to you.

T.