Complex PTSD - What is it and how do we cope?

[Just Sara]

'Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a psychological disorder thought to occur as a result of repetitive, prolonged trauma involving sustained abuse or abandonment by a caregiver or other interpersonal relationships with an uneven power dynamic.' Wikipedia description..

I think this pretty much sums it up yeah?

I wish I could underline; '..relationships with an uneven power dynamic'. In my own case, C-PTSD was triggered by bullying in my workplace from 2008 until 2014. I developed symptoms such as Anxiety/Panic that grew in severity until a tragic breakdown in 2014. I was forced to medically retire.

Although my history of multiple trauma's and childhood abuse caused specific responses in me from an early age, I thought I was normal and everyone was the same. In fact, a lot of people in my inner circle were.

Decades later, I find out those friends/family members/acquaintances had gone thru their own traumatic situations. So why wouldn't I feel normal around them?

Today, as opposed to the 70's/80's (my adolescence/young adulthood) where abuse wasn't discussed, people have resources to out their pain and confusion in spaces like BB forum or with psychologists, social workers, medico's, psychiatrists and even friends/family.

Treatment has become the 'norm' instead of going it alone which is what many of us here had to do until society caught up with this 'pandemic' (IMO) of psychological disorders.

So, why create a thread dedicated to C-PTSD? Well, stigma and misconception around it's still rife in our society, and people suffering with this horrible disorder and not realising it is a constant.

Your views are absolutely welcome! We really do need to talk about it as consequences of C-PTSD and the benefits of therapy are worthy and an important part of recovery.

Newcomers and current members alike are encouraged to post; old, young, male or female.

Let's pick each other's brain and see where it leads...

Kind thoughts;

Sez

[Phoenix_Morningstar]

Hi Sara,

Was diagnosed last year but am still floating and no one seems to be able to help me. I live out in a regional area where the mental health people out here know nothing! Absolutely sweet nothing. I am having a melt down atm at why they Doctors are telling me to chose my own medication, holy crap on a cracker "When Did I Become a M.D?"

They seem all sweet and caring, bu then BAM! Im too hard to handle and then they don't respond. I have been struggling with this for the past 20 years and no one can help. Can anyone direct me to where they actually can help me? and not just call it PTSD. I have having to correct them and say it's Complex PTSD, there is a difference ya know!

At the end of my teether

Phoenix

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome Phoenix;

I totally understand. It doesn't matter which area you live in, professionals still don't get it. I found one very good psychologist 'eventually' after yrs of hunting and I'm not letting her go.

I'm glad you came to this thread because I (and others) have lived your nightmare. This forum has everything you need for self insight, knowledge, wisdom, (born of pain) support and a like minded attitude to healing. Please make this place part of your resource list as it 's encouraged and driven so many like yourself thru successful recovery.

20 yrs is a long time; I know because it was 20 yrs before I was diagnosed properly with c-ptsd by a psychiatrist I had to beg my GP to see. I only wanted to have a medication review, but when he heard my story and saw my face, he knew. His prescriptions were pretty average, but at least I had a name for what I had/have.

The thing is hun, you need to make 'you' your number 1 priority and 'lead' professionals thru therapy and med's. Meltdowns are normal while you sort thru what's best and educate yourself instead of relying on them; they rely on study, not experiential knowledge as Walking (post above) says.

While ever you're trapped in a cycle of triggers and their symptoms, life won't change. Focusing on the past and your abuser/s takes you away from recovery as well; it's all about you and the way you respond to situations, connections with others and life in general. 'Unlearning' what you've been taught thru trauma is essential.

Medication will save your life! It's the best source of support when triggers and their symptoms hit because they give your mind enough calm and relief to understand cognitively what's happening to you, instead of being caught up with fear on top of responses.

What worked for me was a medium-high dose anti depressant for depressive moods and PRN low dose anti anxiety medication for panic and anxiety. In the beginning I was taking the anti anxiety med's twice daily, but this can lead to addiction. So I only used it that way until my poor exhausted mind was rested.

I still take an AD everyday and only use the AA med's when required, which these days is rare; they're great though to help with sleep. We need quality sleep to avoid overwhelming triggers as a rested mind copes far better ok.

I'd love to hear more Phoenix. I hope I've helped..

Kind regards;

Sez

[Ozbarnowl]

I just got diagnosed with c-PTSD. I’m 55 now. First diagnosis aged 20 was bipolar (then called manic depression). Only now have I realised there was a causal event before first diagnosis which was 2 years of sexual abuse as a child. A shame it’s taken so long to realise there was a cause for my mood disorder - I always thought I just wasn’t good at managing being alive - I couldn’t cope which was a failing in me. Good to know it’s not a failing in me. Now trying to find my way through to being able to self-soothe and to being able to do self-caring. Gibberish wreck a lot of the time at the moment I.e. whenever there’s something I think I should do or an appointment at a specific time that I have to get to - even though that tends to be a therapy appointment.

finding body therapy can get me calm whereas thinking usually ends with me being confused and upset.

[Just Sara]

Hi Oz and a warm welcome;

What a relief it must've been to be diagnosed with something real/tangible. BP's a confusing disorder and laden with so many up's and down's, but it's understandable once you consider that cptsd causes undeniable effects on our lives and minds. Eventually something's gotta give...

I've got to go Oz; just wanted you to know I've seen your post and will get back to you later on tonight.

Warm thoughts;

Sez

[Just Sara]

Hi again Oz;

I'm going thru my own issues atm which I've talked about on my thread 'Getting to know you...or is that me?' in the 'Long Term Support Over the Journey' section. You may find it interesting to read from a cptsd perspective.

Unfortunately I don't have what it takes to post extensively tonight, but will get back to you asap. In the meantime, have a browse thru threads and below in the links.

Sometimes having a break's necessary. I need this time to attend to some flashbacks I'm having from giving up smoking.

You're invited to follow my progress ok. It might open some doors for you..

My best;

Sez

[Just Sara]

As I've said above, I've been struggling with flashbacks from my son's (post) sexual abuse at 2 yrs old. I've been writing about it on my thread (link above if you want some background knowledge) and thought I'd paste it here for any comments you may have.

'It's pretty bloody awesome to have a safe space to write and be met with comfort and reassurance from you guys. It's validating and that's a huge thing for me. So thankyou both for being here while I gather my thoughts.

The above situation was the beginning of cptsd re my boy. It was 25 yrs ago and although the memories have lost their power over me, remnants from that time affecting our relationship causes concern.

It's a matter of understanding my responses and how 'I' acted out my own post-abuse rationale thru my parenting style. Not only is my sons' abuser at fault, my own abusers left a massive gap in my development as a woman, parent and a partner/spouse.

Probably the most defined of all was my desperate need to be 'saved'; as a child victim of abuse and as an exhausted sole parent of a tiny victim. My decisions and behaviour, looking back, reflected a life of abuse and a lack of very important functional coping/parenting skills. I do have to congratulate myself though as I think I did ok considering situations I've faced.

As well, I look at my development as an individual. Thru my recovery I've forgiven many ills I've perpetuated on myself, as without this I wouldn't have been able to move forward. Sufferers of cptsd find this extremely difficult as it flies in the face of our abuser's grooming and lack of functional development opportunities.

That being said, I still think I've done a great job at overcoming these obstacles to become the person I am today.

I now know the trigger for this current learning curve was my little dog and his pain I couldn't seem to fix. Not being able to speak or express his feelings is nearly identical to my son's situation back 'when'; it's no wonder I went into meltdown mode'

So that's it; a small piece of my inner world after facing a trigger and learning from it. I hope you get something out of it.

Kind thoughts;

Sez x

[blondguy]

Hi Sara

This is a really good thread as it helps people that have been diagnosed or are concerned about their PTSD/Complex PTSD

I am fortunate as I had a counselor gently help me understand that I have actually had PTSD for a long time. Can I ask if you can provide your 'take' on the meaning of Complex PTSD for the layperson as I dont really understand what it involves where symptoms are concerned

Please be gentle...I just dont understand Complex PTSD

Thankyou so much for the excellent thread topic

My kind thoughts

Paul

[J-J]

Hi Sez,

I worked in Real Estate for 6 years in the Property Managment side.

I was bullied by the owner, by other female staff, by tenants and owners of houses.

I have been diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety and PTSD.

Last May I left the industry and tried a self-employment and went bankrupt.

In October 2017 I had a big mental breakdown and everything had to stop.

I'm currently on sickness benefits on Centrelink and worried about when I go back to work. I've been to as a number of GP's and Psychologists. They all say you are more likely to have relapses because I've have a few mental breakdowns.

How I kind of copped with my previous industry was to make myself invaluable, I would do crazy hours and was only paid for the 9 to 5. My big worry is when the doctor says I can go back to work that my past experiences will impact on my next job.

Thank you

[J-J]

Hi Phoenix,

I've heard of online appointments, might be worth having a look into if you live in a regional area.

Best wishes

[Just Sara]

Hi JJ and welcome to our caring community;

Your previous work environment sounds challenging to say the least. I'm sorry you went thru what you did. Bankruptcy must've been so disheartening too you poor thing.

I went thru 7 yrs of intimidation, harassment and vilification, not to mention trying to defend myself against horrible lies told about me. It broke me in the end as well. So I do understand.

A good psychologist is worth their weight in gold as many of us here know. It seems you've gone from one to the other; is there a reason for this? Have you decided to stick with one in particular for consistency yet?

If you've had a major breakdown, returning to work may not be a good idea until you've rested and are well on your way to recovery. Otherwise you might be going from the fry-pan back into the fire - unarmed.

New communication skills need to be learned and practised to protect yourself from similar situations occurring. It's not so much about 'them'; it's more about you and how you respond and communicate.

There's also your central nervous system to consider. It's been damaged by long term stress and traumatic situations and needs time to heal. I know supportive finances are important, but not as much as your mental health. So is it possible to lay low for a while longer?

Do you have support at home or in your community like family/friends? I hope so. This forum's a great place to talk or vent. People are encouraging and willing to help in any way they can. So please look around and engage with others ok. It's absolutely therapeutic.

Again, welcome. Lovely to meet you JJ.

Kind thoughts;

Sez