Complex PTSD - What is it and how do we cope?

[Just Sara]

'Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a psychological disorder thought to occur as a result of repetitive, prolonged trauma involving sustained abuse or abandonment by a caregiver or other interpersonal relationships with an uneven power dynamic.' Wikipedia description..

I think this pretty much sums it up yeah?

I wish I could underline; '..relationships with an uneven power dynamic'. In my own case, C-PTSD was triggered by bullying in my workplace from 2008 until 2014. I developed symptoms such as Anxiety/Panic that grew in severity until a tragic breakdown in 2014. I was forced to medically retire.

Although my history of multiple trauma's and childhood abuse caused specific responses in me from an early age, I thought I was normal and everyone was the same. In fact, a lot of people in my inner circle were.

Decades later, I find out those friends/family members/acquaintances had gone thru their own traumatic situations. So why wouldn't I feel normal around them?

Today, as opposed to the 70's/80's (my adolescence/young adulthood) where abuse wasn't discussed, people have resources to out their pain and confusion in spaces like BB forum or with psychologists, social workers, medico's, psychiatrists and even friends/family.

Treatment has become the 'norm' instead of going it alone which is what many of us here had to do until society caught up with this 'pandemic' (IMO) of psychological disorders.

So, why create a thread dedicated to C-PTSD? Well, stigma and misconception around it's still rife in our society, and people suffering with this horrible disorder and not realising it is a constant.

Your views are absolutely welcome! We really do need to talk about it as consequences of C-PTSD and the benefits of therapy are worthy and an important part of recovery.

Newcomers and current members alike are encouraged to post; old, young, male or female.

Let's pick each other's brain and see where it leads...

Kind thoughts;

Sez

[Flighty]

Hi StaticRose, apologies for the delay in replying, I've only just started my cptsd journey unfortunately, but these are my current coping strategies.

I see my therapist weekly and she encouraged me to read The Body keeps the Score. I read it in bits and pieces, if I get to a trigger part I put it down until I feel I can carry on with it. I haven't read it for 8 days currently as I'm on childhood which is obviously why I'm delaying. It has been enlightening especially with regards to how trauma rewires a person's brain. I will finish it and will probably read it again.

Week 1 was that on Bad days I have a soft blanket, warm drink and watch something easy on tv.

Week 2 I try to walk every day

Week 3 I plan healthy eating for myself

Week 4 My hubby went with me to therapy and we told him. That was a day to just cry and then continue with the previous weeks.

I go again next week 🙂

As far as my family goes, I haven't told anyone other than my therapist and my husband. I'm not quite ready and I suppose it is easier because I emigrated and am in a different country to all of them.

I think that it is such an individual process for each of us, what works for me may not work for someone else but knowing you aren't alone or crazy is hugely supportive.

I'm still in a shock, disbelief, questioning phase so self care is the priority for now. I hope you find the answers you need.

Hugs xx

[Anomalous]

Hi Just Sara, Starting new and everybody,

I’ve been tagging along for the ride for a little while. Got a few things keeping me busy at present (good things) but I wanted to say what a good thread you have going here and to thank you for your amazing commitment and contribution. I clicked with one of the original posts about uneven power dynamic....boy does that sound like me.

i then found an article (I must have been trolling the net looking for answers...again) written by some one called Lily Hope Lucario called “12 Life impacting symptoms Complex PTSD survivors endure”. Great read am happy to report. Anyway, it seems that I am not alone and what I deal with daily is in some way normal.

I am 15 to 20 years into my experience now, so I’m not sure how I fit into this forum. Do I need help, or can I offer support? I’ve read through all the advice about forums and read this entire thread through. I’ve even got diverted to other threads but I keep coming back to this one. I certainly don’t want to say anything bad or discouraging for anyone....perhaps i’ll Try this....

I’m through the worst of it now. I have climbed out of the black hole (for me it was a “well”) that was so deep and dark I couldn’t see any light or any way out. There was nothing heroic or even stoic about coming to the surface. It was more like a refusal to give in, or to give up. Having said that I should admit that I did give in and give up...so many times, so many many times...and yet by degrees I came to the surface and one day I felt the sun on my face, I turned and felt the sun on my shoulders. I was out of my well. The damned thing lives with me all the time now...never far away but I can shy away from getting too close to it. So there is a way through...it’s not easy...but I now have a good life and it is getting better steadily.

My struggle to survive is perhaps a little unusual...maybe it falls into the realm of “don’t do this at home children”...so I suspect that details here, might not be helpful. I haven’t got any secrets but I don’t know what is helpful and what isn’t.

Now I struggle with things like....is it possible to have a relationship with someone...and should I tell them about my inner workings....if so when. For sure I’m not going to be brutally honest and say so up front.

Anyway, at the end of all my wanderings, I want to say that life does get better...much better. And Thankyou all so much for being on this thread. I’m not alone anymore.

[demonblaster]

Hi Anomalous and Flighty welcome to the forums ☺

Just popping in to add support our beautiful Sez is still around but as Starting new is too I'm helping if ok Sez 🤗

Anomalous congratulations on your determination to keep going although so many times you went under you still as every brave person here had the grit to keep going.

I can relate to pretty much all of your post and will next research the info you spoke of.

I'd like to thank you for such an inspiring post and that you've found a way to live with this is I'm sure going to inspire many.

I really am sorry for peoples pain and the causes of it. A positive which god knows we need to look for and hold on to is there is help out there, here and knowledge to get through our pain, you're as our beautiful Sez here testament to this. I also know of a friend that speaks past tense of PTSD (similar).

Uneven power dynamic has helped me a lot, it looks like amongst other things I too have C-PTSD.

Thank you everyone for being so brave and sharing your stories inthis incredible safe enviroment.

Anom not that I'm the best one to suggest this 😅 (accidentally broken many rules) if you haven't seen them there's 5 Red buttons at top of page that could help you ☺ also a FAQ thread if you have queries. People here are so lovely and helpful.

Hoping everyone can find peace and some light in their days ☺

[startingnew]

Hi Flighty


Apologies for my delay in responding to you, I am glad you are in therapy but I havent heard of the book you meantioned. I may have a look into that myself since your finding it enlightening too.

How are you going with coping the past few days? have you found things that are most helpful that youd like to share?


Oh yes I agree, putting yourself first is really hard to do esp when all of life has been about putting others first (even at the expense of yourself). Your therapist sounds like she is quite good, not only for your mental health but also for your physical health too by encouraging exercise, self care, and healthy eating. I find if our bodies are healthy then its one less thing to worry about and feel abit better within ourselves too.


Very well done on allowing your hubby to come to a therapy session with you, I can imagine how scary and emotional that wouldve been for you. It does make sense for sure, im glad there was a good outcome for you.


Acceptance yes is a major part of healing from our traumas, try not to rush that part either. Having that trust is your therapist is so important, whilst I didnt have trust with mine, I realised that is why the therapy sessions I was having werent going well. Im not sure if the memories and disbelief really ever go but they do fade and we can learn to manage them, this is something worth meantioning to your therapist about as well as they can guide and support you through these steps.

It is so good to hear of your positive progresses, while it might not seem like a lot or anything major, many people who are reading would be benefiting to know that things can get better and hopefully inspire them to reach out and ask for support so they too can feel less alone.
And no your not crazy, even if your mind says otherwise sometimes 🙂

[startingnew]

Hello Anomalous


You are of course welcome here! It doesnt matter your age, gender, race, experience, whether you need support or how far into your journey you are, your always welcome 🙂 I am happy youve found us and feel not so alone now.


As survivors of C-PTSD, we all know there are those deep dark bad moments and its ok to share those. The lovely Sez here has taught me many lessons, one of those being that it is ok to share those bad moments but also the moments that have helped you to work through them and the progresses youve made despite those challenges which is what you have done perhaps without realising it. Thank you so much for sharing some of your journey with us. To hear that things that life gets better is really inspiring and brings hope to those who are still in that dark space. The article you meantioned sounds interesting as well so ill have a read myself and perhaps others will too.


Do you still have supports in place to continue to help you when things get tough?


The challenges you meantioned like is it possible to have a relationship with someone and if they should know about the inner workings, are ones I face too and from what ive read from others with not only C-PTSD but any mental health issue there are many that have the same questions. I am not much help in that area im afraid, however if a relationship is something youd like then I say go for it! Perhaps by joining an interest group so that you can build friendships based on similar interests would be a good starting point.


It is nice meeting you and again welcome to BB!

[Anomalous]

Hi Starting new,

thanks for for your kind words and advice. Much appreciated.

yes I have a wonderful counsellor who advises me to drop in when ever I want to. Her support staff are great, they seem to find a time for me even when things are busy there. I find now that when I want to discuss something it is best done while the subject is fresh.

ive had a number of counsellors with varying qualifications and early on,I had an absolute battery of professionals trying to diagnose and find a fault with me. Many people wanted me to be well, so I toured the hospitals for tests of organs and levels of hormones, nutrients and what not. In hindsight it was the psychiatrist that had it right....he said...nothing wrong with this man, just a long exposure to extreme stress....

I’ve had two counsellors who were exceptional and quite a few who were not quite so helpful. It’s worth finding some one who you connect with. I hated being simplified to “depressed” when I knew there was more going on.

all for now....best wishes to all of you, so great to read your stories and be able to relate to them. Hugs....

[startingnew]

Hello Anomalous


Your most welcome, thank you for sharing some of your journey with us.


Im so glad you have a wonderful cousellor and her support staff too. It is so hard to find those! Yes I agree talking about things while fresh is good then it doesnt just stew away either.
Im really glad that you kept on persisiting in getting help and support knowing that you werent just 'depressed'. Your persistence wore off 🙂 well done!

[Ayisha]

Hi Sara

I am a brand new member to this community and it is also my first time visiting any forum sites. I realise you posted back in 2018 but I was drawn to your post because you suffer from CPTSD, as I do. I was wondering how you are coping? Do you have a good psychiatrist? Are you on medications? I have had CPTSD since I was 6 years old but was only diagnosed at age 55 and now I'm 58. I am a text book case when it comes to CPTSD. Anger, addiction, distorted thinking and low self-esteem have influenced a great many things in my life. I am in the midst of writing a book about the cruel realities of CPTSD.

Hope to hear from you

Ishy

[Ayisha]

Hi Sez

I am a brand new member to this forum. I have had CPTSD since I was approx. 6 years old. But only officially diagnosed

[Ayisha]

Hi Starting New

I am a new member to this forum. I have had CPTSD since I was six years old. But only officially diagnosed at age 55. I am now 58. Anger, Addiction, Distorted Thinking and Low Self-esteem have had a massive impact on my whole life. Three years on I still struggle with the fact that my persona is not my own. I have grieved for a life that I never got to live. Because of the symptoms of CPTSD I have destroyed relationships with family and friends. And despite the consequences I will not refrain as I genuinely cannot help what I do or say.

Relationships and CPTSD are more than possible. It maybe my 3rd marriage but I have been married to a wonderful man who loves me unconditionally for 14 years and together for 16 years.

How are you coping with your CPTSD?

Ayisha