Complex PTSD - What is it and how do we cope?

[Just Sara]

'Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a psychological disorder thought to occur as a result of repetitive, prolonged trauma involving sustained abuse or abandonment by a caregiver or other interpersonal relationships with an uneven power dynamic.' Wikipedia description..

I think this pretty much sums it up yeah?

I wish I could underline; '..relationships with an uneven power dynamic'. In my own case, C-PTSD was triggered by bullying in my workplace from 2008 until 2014. I developed symptoms such as Anxiety/Panic that grew in severity until a tragic breakdown in 2014. I was forced to medically retire.

Although my history of multiple trauma's and childhood abuse caused specific responses in me from an early age, I thought I was normal and everyone was the same. In fact, a lot of people in my inner circle were.

Decades later, I find out those friends/family members/acquaintances had gone thru their own traumatic situations. So why wouldn't I feel normal around them?

Today, as opposed to the 70's/80's (my adolescence/young adulthood) where abuse wasn't discussed, people have resources to out their pain and confusion in spaces like BB forum or with psychologists, social workers, medico's, psychiatrists and even friends/family.

Treatment has become the 'norm' instead of going it alone which is what many of us here had to do until society caught up with this 'pandemic' (IMO) of psychological disorders.

So, why create a thread dedicated to C-PTSD? Well, stigma and misconception around it's still rife in our society, and people suffering with this horrible disorder and not realising it is a constant.

Your views are absolutely welcome! We really do need to talk about it as consequences of C-PTSD and the benefits of therapy are worthy and an important part of recovery.

Newcomers and current members alike are encouraged to post; old, young, male or female.

Let's pick each other's brain and see where it leads...

Kind thoughts;

Sez

[J-J]

Thank you for your kind words Sez,

The beginning of March this year I moved back home so I wasn't isolated. It's nice to cook a meal with someone as when you live by yourself you are more likely to eat the same food.

I'm working with a new psychologist, she has brought up some ideas for reasons I worked over the top.

However I'm feeling I'm self editing what I'm saying to her. I feel I even self edit my thoughts from myself , like I'm protecting myself.

I only joined BB yesterday and already everyone has been so supportive.

Best wishes

[Just Sara]

I'm so glad to hear you're in a supportive environment at home and are being welcomed by others here as well. It's so therapeutic to write and engage thru posting.

I'm not sure if you've read my first post on here or not. I've included a brief interpretation of Complex PTSD and further down the page I've added one for PTSD. Reading them can give you an idea of which one you suffer from and discuss it with your psych.

There are clear differences so therapy hopefully can address specifics if required. Self editing in therapy is also good to talk about with your psych. There are many reasons people do this, so discussing it might bring them out into the open and hopefully clear up any fears or expectations.

Again; welcome. Lovely to meet you JJ...

Sez

[J-J]

Thanks, Sez,

I have an appointment with my psych next week.

From reading the different types I feel I suffer both of them.

2014 I had a tenant stalk me, to the point the Police had to be involved and still today I have problems being around white bald men without checking, who it is.

I also suffered bullying at work, which I panic about if my work is good enough and I get physically sick from stress to this day.

I have brought up the self-editing, she has encouraged me to do some work on my own to see if I can pull the information from myself.

Still working on it for now.

[Just Sara]

Good on you JJ!

In the end we're the ones who do the work. We gain insight and support from others, but it's us who need to change and grow from what we've learned. I've gained loads of self knowledge from journaling and self assessment if you're interested in trying.

It's good to know you've discussed self editing with your psych. I'm glad good came from it. Well done!

Yes, the two ptsd interpretations usually surprise people just as they did for me. They're simple to comprehend which is really helpful; not just for sufferers, but their loved ones.

I'm sorry to hear about being stalked. That's no way to live and definitely requires police support. Stalking's now a criminal offence whereas a few yrs back it didn't hold any penalty unless other laws were broken. Though I'm not sure about state to state.

Living on a knife's edge must've been terrifying. Was he prosecuted, given a restraining order or warnings? How did you cope with this process?

Bullying in workplaces seems to be a systemic trend in Oz. Not sure about other western countries though I'm sure there's room for improvement in each.

Satisfying supervisors when dysfunctional management practices prevail is an uphill battle I'm afraid. The govt has created policies to stop people from claiming insurance or compensation of any sort. I wonder what research they did to take this drastic action. I'm sure victims weren't included!

Thanks for the catch-up JJ. I see you've been supporting others around the forum too. Mighty nice of you and thankyou...

My best;

Sez

[Wattlebird]

Hi Sez

i was very recently diagnosed with complex PTSD

i have been doing a little googling on the diagnosis and have come across this site so thank you

I am going to read thru and I may not say much but I wanted to introduce myself and give my appreciation to all the contributors in helping me understand wtf I can do about it 😬

Thanks Lyn

[Just Sara]

Hi and a big welcome to our caring community Lyn;

Thankyou for introducing yourself. It's nice to meet you..

Yes.. wtf! does have its place in the cptsd journey for sure. I was just like you; wanting to learn everything I could to heal my poor mind and heart. I get it so good on you!

You sound driven. This is a necessary component required to face the road ahead. Recovery's not for the faint hearted; so buckle up.

You seem to have the courage it takes too. That'll come in handy when times are tough.

For now though, read on and use the forum as a resource for healing. I truly hope this thread can help you find yourself and your amazing truth.

My best;

Sez

[startingnew]

Hello Wattlebird and welcome

im glad youve found us here, feel free to ask your own questions, take a look around and start your own thread so we can support you more through your journey as well

i agree, WTF is right! your not alone 🙂

[Wattlebird]

Thank you so much, my self image is pretty bad but one positive self image I do have is courage, so when I realised I was actually living my life in true fear I felt that if I didn't address this than life really wasn't worth living. I know that sounds dramatic but it's how it went. It's scary sure, but it's natural to be scared that's where courage comes from 😬

[Banjocasper]

Thank you for this incredibly supportive and informative forum and l am incredibly grateful to hear people sharing their cptsd experiences in such an open and honest way. Wow takes such courage.

l was diagnosed with cptsd in 2009 after working in a highly stressful, violent treacherous environment. I had a bad fall as a result of the stress, (blood pressure drop out) fractured my skull etc. I lost a lot of my memory for about 6 months (similar issues to that of having a stroke without the awful physical impact as well). My GP informed me that if this fall had't occurred l may well have had a massive stroke or heart attack in the week ahead.

It was only due to this incident that l was 'mandated' to attend psychotherapy as part of my recovery and my eventual return to work. l will fill in more historical detail with each post but wanted to cut to the chase with this post.....l hated therapy...hated, resented,wanted to scream at my 'up herself, know it all' therapist for trying to pry into my life and cause me this overwhelming emotional pain. l was ok, l had just had a fall, was managing just fine thank you very much. It took 15 months of weeky intensive therapy for it to finally dawn on me that, OMG, l had lived a life of disassociation, living under constant threat, hyper vigilance.....fear of having the 'real me' exposed etc. So it wasn't carthartic for me to discover this....l became a mad raging bull of a person, lashing out at those closest to me etc. This in itself was bewildering for me as l had gone through my life being the 'good person' always fair and reasonable, always balanced and no -judgemental. So, my therapist guided me through this emotional mayhem and thanks to the ongoing love and support of my partner of 22 years and my nutty siblings and mother and stepfather...l came through fairly okay. Yes l too have a history of serious abuse...physical, sexual, emotional, perpetrated on my siblings and l from day dot by my biological father and also constant screaming and violence from domestic violence perpetrated by my biological father on my mother.

I have not been in therapy now for four years but am able to contact my therapist on an as need basis. l do have the skills and tools required to get me through the not so bad periods. I did change employment fields and although it has its challenges the re triggering of my cptsd is not as drastic.....to be continued!

Thanks to all you brave people out there...you inspire me to share my own story

[Just Sara]

Hi Lyn;

Sorry for the late reply. 😞

Cptsd's just as you describe; living on fear and adrenaline thinking it's normal until someone tells you it's not. I talk about peace on here a lot. I suppose most would interpret that as a peaceful mind, but for those with cptsd, it's our bodies that need silence.

The first time my body went 'quiet' I cried with relief and grieved for the life I didn't realise I'd missed out on. Initially I thought something was wrong with me as I'd never felt that feeling before.

It's been hard work but peace and quiet is all worth the struggle. Living in fear's just a memory as my body lives in the here and now instead of the past.

You can have peace too Lyn. As well as working on your damaged mind, focusing on how your body and brain function is a must. Which comes first? The chicken or the egg; the mind or the brain? It's of course the brain...

This confuses many; we assume our personality causes all our triggers and problems, but it's how our brains function that holds the key to recovery.

Please research 'fight/flight/flee/freeze' responses; specifically adrenaline output. Cptsd sufferers have overworked adrenal glands that seemingly never turn off. That's what causes the vibrating, shaking and breathlessness.

Once you understand your brain's a machine, the penny will drop. This in turn leads to a more speedy recovery because you'll finally realise it's not you; it's your brain doing what it does best...responding thru learned behaviour.

Observing and assessing how your body responds to triggers is a major component of therapy; please talk with your psych about it.

Trauma 'shocks' the brain and body. In the case of on-going traumatic experiences, early intervention can't work because there's no time away from the problem to heal.

I hope you get something out of this post Lyn. Again, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you earlier.

Please take care;

Sez