C ptsd recovery & adapting to life

[sallyfrog1]

I'm in my early 30s
Am in a pretty good place now in terms of clarity (after a long time of being dissociated)
Main thing right now is building a support network

Talking to ppl (esp those without lived exp) and they don't get it

Ppl often want you to share your life experiences and usefulness up to your age

But for me it's like... I've physically grown but has taken time to allow myself to develop emotionally

[Croix]

Dear Sallyfrog1~

Welcome here to the Forum. It is a good place to come to as most here ave been through hard times and simply want to help.

I'm glad yo have now reached a stage of recovery from what has happened to you in the past and and are able ot asses the growing you where your emotions htat may have laid frozen are now coming forth - an excellent thing.

You are right, having a support system is often essential, I need one my self, but getting it is not always straightforward. Unless people have had similar experiences they are not going to know how to respond. They may ask about your expereinces (not always a productive thing for you) in the belief that will give them some insight on how to reply and support, however it may not do that.

I've found the best ones care, and listen to whatever I want to say. Then sometimes may make suggestions, based on thier experiences,  depending on my needs at the time -which may be seemingly nothing to do with my past but practical -let's go for a walk for example

Learning to relax, trust, to enjoy being with others -and be able ot give and receive. These are not things that come instantly, but time and the right circumstances foster them. I was lucky in having a wise supporting partner with infinite patience, and I was able to get away from the environment that  had harmed me.

I hope the same for you

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Dear sallyfrog1,

I understand what you are saying. I also have c-ptsd and find it is something others don't easily understand unless they have the same sort of experience. I think if you meet other people with complex trauma, or have friends who have been through some trauma, they are often the people you can talk to and who will understand.

I understand what you mean about being physically grown but taking time to develop emotionally. I think that is really normal in c-ptsd and it's a gradual process of learning to parent your own inner child in a way that she wasn't necessarily parented in your actual childhood. It helps to have some guides along the way, wise people you know, whether a therapist, mentor, friend etc. I think that then helps to internalise a way to grow yourself up internally, if that makes sense?

I'm glad you are in a pretty good place now. I spent a lot of time dissociated too. It's a bit like coming out of a fog in a way. Take care and all the best.