Hello fellow members, Writing here today as I feel I'm unable to forgive
what's been done to me in the past. This may get rambly, I apologize in
advance. Firstly, a little background. While growing up I was abused by
both of my parents, mainly throug...
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Hello fellow members, Writing here today as I feel I'm unable to forgive
what's been done to me in the past. This may get rambly, I apologize in
advance. Firstly, a little background. While growing up I was abused by
both of my parents, mainly through verbal abuse and emotional
manipulation. My siblings also began to exhibit the same behaviour, I
was heading the same way, until I realised it wasn't normal. I'm sure I
still exhibit some poor behaviours. About seven years ago I cut all
contact with them. I now have no contact with any biological family
members. My family on one parents side were cut out of my life when I
was a child. The other side of the family was cut out of my life as a
teen, after two deaths in that side of the family. While it shocks some
people when I tell them about it, I feel having no contact with my
family is best for my mental health. As a side note, I don't feel trying
to contact extended family is a good idea, as any correspondence will
get back to my parents. After my parents separated, they went back to
their siblings and parents, bridging that gap that was put in place. At
that point I was already starting to cut out my parents, leading me to
ignore their attempts to connect me with extended family. After
everything that's happened to me, I don't feel like I can forgive my
immediate family for their actions. I can still clearly remember some of
the things that were said to me, and how they treated me. For example, I
was left alone in the house all day on my sixth birthday. I don't have
any memories earlier than that point, which scares me. At around eight,
I was told that I was viewed as the family slave. My mother even said
"why else do you think we had you?" when I got upset about it. After
that I was outright treated as the family slave, with my siblings
hurling expletive's at me if I didn't do the dishes when they wanted me
to. There's a lot of other things that happened that I won't cover here,
as it'll take me over the character limit for starters. Additionally, I
wanted to provide some background to help give anyone reading this a
better idea of my situation. I would feel more inclined to forgive them
if they proved they'd changed, which hasn't happened. People are
frequently told to forgive others, but in this case I don't think I can
do it. Am I trying to force this too early, or are there just some
things can't can't be forgiven? Thank you to anyone who read through
this post. Regards, DisplayName5742
PTSD for Medical and First Responders
