Trigger warning:
I was attacked by my partner unexpectedly. They have never shown signs of any aggression before this happened. We just came from a bar (my partner's drink may have been spiked).
I don't know what to do next.
A few months after, I went out with a friend who I trusted. I'm usually a cautious person but I trusted my friend. I only had two beers that night but that was all I remember. I know I had about a 12 hour window where I don't remember anything but I keep getting snippets and flashbacks that I somehow know are linked to that night.
I get flashbacks of those incidents often. Just after the blackout, I would wake up either crying or screaming and shaking, drenched in sweat. That lasted for two months, almost every night when I was completely alone in a boarding house. I still get really nervous expressing this and I'm far more cautious of the world now. I feel like I have to be vigilant all the time and on my guard.
Along with this, I moved countries for work but I was made redundant there due to mismanagement, I became homeless, experienced financial hardship (unemployed for a year), had a threat of armed robbery, had malaria, and severe food poisoning. I lost count the amount of times my life was genuinely in danger.
All of this happened overseas and within 6 months.
I'm now back home and feel sick to my stomach most of the time. I find it very hard to find meaning here when everything is easy, and I have people around me genuinely care for me and can provide for me, instead of being alone overseas. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. I see a psychologist next week though, I hope that might help.
