Advice for moving forward -

[Leisa_E]

I guess you are the right people to ask. I separated from a 16yr relationship with my girlfriend. We have two children. We both had breakdowns. Hers was caused by a death at work. Mine was caused by my family suddenly dumping my kids when they had there own biological grandchildren. They were growing up knowing my parents as nan and pop and the rejection definitely hurt my eldest the most. My partner gave birth to our babies as I had lost my younger brother at 5 and really could not. Previous to meeting my partner I had probably dated 20 women.

After the separation the war started. I started getting terrible threats on my social media channels and all of my tech was hacked - often. I asked a friend whom I had had since the age of 6 to help me out. She suggested a friend of her husbands whom worked in tech security. So I agreed to meet him at a pub from there my drink was spiked, I was hypnotised and taken advantage of. Apparently it was filmed as "revenge porn". I reported it as rape to the local police as my consent was taken away from me and it was laughed off, they asked "what were you wearing?" After I went to the local pub and my drink was spiked, there were no cameras as it had just opened back up and I passed out unconscious for 30mins. I spent the night at RPA hospital. (where my ex and her sister used to work). My brother was involved in the "rape".

I again reported to to police as my blood alcohol reading was 15 drinks - which was not at all the case. I had 2 drinks. I sourced the info from my blood alcochol and gave it to the police - nothing was done. I moved away after the abuse for protection and it affected my kids. I moved back to Sydney to try and be there for them. They would call me crying as my ex partner is sometimes ferocious and I was their "mum" at home whom they relied on. I would have to tell them to hide under their beds and it tore me apart.

I moved back to sydney and received an invite to a bogus lesbian night which I attended, a woman gave me her number. I called her afterwards to meet up for a drink which she did. She asked to go to my place which we did and again I was taken advantage of. I am completely traumatised, cannot love someone without anxiety attacks and each time I try to book a psych with a GP or try and get help it is diverted. My trust is totally broken.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Leisa E,

We are so grateful that you've shown such strength in sharing your story here with us tonight- we know that this would not have been an easy thing to do. We're incredibly sorry to hear about what you have been through and that upon reporting this to your local police you were dismissed. We understand that this negative experience may have discouraged you from seeking help, and we are so glad that you had the courage to reach out here. We hear you and we believe you. Please know that you are strong and you are valuable, and you don't have to do this alone- our community are here for you.

We can hear that this is an incredibly difficult and painful time for you and you're wanting to heal emotionally. We would strongly urge that you contact our friends at 1800RESPECT, who offer confidential information, counselling and support 24/7 for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely, supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice to support to those who have been through trauma like this. You can contact them anytime on 1800 737 732 or also through their online chat of you'd feel more comfortable talking online: https://www.1800respect.org.au Please also know that the caring counsellors at our Support Service are here for you anytime on 1300 22 4636 to also through Webchat 1pm-12am AEST at: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport They can also help offer support, advice and referrals to help you through this. 

We hope that you can find some comfort here in the forums and that you can find the courage to keep trying to reach out, as you deserve support through this. Feel free to keep us updated here on your thread throughout your journey, as we'd all love to help support you through this.