To tell or not to tell? Disclosing your mental illness to your boss.

[Donte]

Hi all,

The other day our new HR manager asked all staff to complete a form disclosing any illnesses and conditions they have that could either impact on their work or at a time of emergency, the company should be aware of and/or inform the paramedics etc.

As I had health insurance refuse to cover me in the past due to the fact that I ticked 'Yes' to the 'Do you suffer from depression or other mental illness' box on the form, I hadn't disclose to my employer about my mental illness until now, even though, many colleagues, including my Coordinator are aware of my health issues.

Even though, my overall performance hasn't been compromised and I complete my tasks successfully, there are times where my depression and anxiety can get the best of me and/or my moods affect me. At those times it can be difficult to concentrate, and I feel tired, unmotivated and lacking energy.

So, when I was asked to complete this form the other day, I wrote down all my conditions and medications/treatments. Not sure why, this time around I felt the urge to disclose. Perhaps, because I feel sick and tired hiding. Or maybe, because I have seen the fear others display in telling the boss what's happening with them and struggle all alone due to stigma from our cultural background. I thought that maybe talking about my experiences might encourage others to be more open about mental health at work, as well as helping to change people’s attitudes. Also, being upfront about it might stop rumours spreading or people gossiping. (I had disclose to a colleague who's behavior towards me has now changed and have been worried that she might dob me in!)

Maybe being open and upfront will be helpful in case there is any dispute about my performance with my employer in the future.
I know there is legislation to protect me and I have a good network outside work that I can rely on and I’m not at a point where I need any additional support, but I don’t want my boss/colleagues to think I’m weak or not pulling my weight.

However, I’m not sure it will stay confidential. I’m comfortable talking to my boss about this but don’t want anyone else to know and I don’t want it going on my employment record. I have been worried that if people found out they could use this against me somehow or that I might be discriminated against.

How has your experience been? Have you disclosed at work? In your community? If yes, how did it go? If no, why not?

[Donte]

Hi Ru!

Yes, you can do a two-day course and receive a certificate plus the Mental Health First Aid book.

Every few years you can do a refresher, similar to First Aid course.

It’s a very detailed and great course that provides very useful skills.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Donte

I think disclosing was an important step in your journey. It's about being comfortable with who you are and walking the bb talk. Took courage. No reason yet to expect anything but the best.

[Donte]

Thank you Summer Rose,

I was just talking about it with Counselors from Beyondblue, Lifeline and Crisis-line last night and one of the conclusions was that I finally had the courage to formally disclose to my employer after having worked there for almost 15 years. This is indeed a huge step for me as I am combating my own internalized shame and stigma and hope that my own perception will change and this will be an empowering thing for myself and others in the same boat who are still hiding out of fear. X

[geoff]

Hi Donte, you may or may not be lucky that your employer accepts your disclosure, sometimes it could work in your favour, while other times it could run through with your workmates knowing.

A pecking order is then formed.

Employers may seem to be friendly but deep down are the opposite and will find another way to get rid of you.

It's happened to me but I do wish you luck.

My answer is still no.

Geoff.

[Donte]

Well, luckily, one and a half months later, no one has said anything and all seems normal. It goes to show, most of our fears are in our own heads. Or, nobody reads the forms we sign. Or cares. 🙂

[Donte]

Since my disclosure I have felt on one hand a big weight coming off my shoulders as I don’t need to be spending emotional energy trying to hide and ‘fitting in’. It’s been great in this regard as I feel more real and visible and can now concentrate on doing my work instead of worrying about others.

On the other hand, there has been an element of anticipation, especially during the first days when my anxiety went rampant and I was expecting the worst. However, once a bit of time has passed, I feel much better about it. No point worrying about something I cannot change.

A couple of other positives: I started counseling again and this time focusing specifically on my anxiety and the way it manifests at work and the fear of possible consequences from my disclosure.

Also, since I disclosed formally on paper to HR I have felt more at ease to talk to other staff about it and I have been overwhelmingly supported. This has given permission to others to open up about themselves and their issues too. So, not only I feel the benefit, but have encouraged others too in the process.

I think so far, the positives overweigh the possible negatives and this has given me a sense of peace and stability and has calmed me down. 🙂