Stressed

[1fr4]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to let you know that life can be so exhausting, even when I haven't done much. I've struggled a lot with caring for myself, feeling safe and having fun. I worry too much about what others will think and always assume that others hate me. It's gotten to the point where when I first started living independently to now, I barely go out and just maladaptively daydream. It's stopped me so much. I've also thought of seeking professional help. If anyone wants to, please use this post to share your experiences, I want to know how others are or have been working things and if you have any advice (of course I've heard of the 'don't give two hoots of what others think and do it!' but it's so hard). Anyways, thank you for this 

[Catto23]

Hihi 1fr4,

I'm pretty new to this forum too, (did my first post a few months back), and still trying to understand the format of this place. Pretty much I can relate too, when you said you "always assume other people hate you", I instead "feel like those around me are automatically lessor because they chose me" HA. I used to also have this thing where I felt like other's just didn't like me. My experience is that, I have ideas about myself, ways I automatically do things -- from my upbringing or experiences that sometimes make me feel sad or bad about myself. But I am *trying, to take the approach, hey, can I learn some other way to do things or talk to a therapist. 

Professional help for me has helped me realised 1) It's not all my fault, who I am 2) ways for things to be easier, but it has taken a lot of time and effort to *learn what I didn't know and it's expensive.

Hope this all made sense,

👍 

[1fr4]

Hi Catto23, 

Thanks for responding to me, it means a lot. And you're right, hearing from you and reflecting, I've realized that I have these beliefs that keep me locked in this state of self loathing. Like I don't like it at all and it's sad we think of ourselves like this. I also feel like the fact it'll take time and it's not going to be a straight road makes me go "ahhhh noooo" but I have to do it. Otherwise nothing changes. Thanks a lot, Catto. I'll see what I can do to seek help and get a diagnosis too cause I've suspected of ✨ ADHD ✨ and yesss it did make sense and make me feel like it'll be worth it for me too to seek help however possible 

[Catto23]

Hi 1fr4,

omygosh, I replied to this cos I could relate but I didn't expect a reply, I'm almost tearing up. lol ah I can a bit relate to the ahh nuuu bit (like I am assume you are younger, first time living more independently) -- for example we feel like other people are moving forwards, like our friends are doing things, we see a lot of "progress" in social media, our families have expectations of us - eek, and maybe we feel like we are falling behind a bit. I have A LOT to say about this topic, but pretty much for me in a really dark place, a family friend told me *you are a fighter for seeing a psychologist and *trying to fix ur problems. I never saw it like that before. (also totally everyone's upbringing and backstory are totally variable but no body sees that, no body is on equal grounding starting out I swear)

A diagnosis may also seem scary at this stage, but you've lived with it for this long, it is not going to get *worse. But I hate diagnoses myself, it just feels like I've done something wrong, but technically it does give me more ways/information/learning to learn how to co-exist with it, and once I get over telling people *technically, it's supposed to be freeing.

I'm glad you're reflecting, that was the hard bit for me, looking inwards, is kinda really scary sometimes. And something you said did resonate with me too, I wonder if * I too have these beliefs that keep me locked in a constant state of self-destructiveness, or I can't do it-ness *, hmmm interesting

👍