firstTimeMum,NursesLife,FromForeignLAnd

[MuMRN1234]

Hi everyone,

So much had happened in my life. Currently, I am suffering anxiety and depression. I came here in Australia to follow my dreams. To have a family, be financially stable and work as a registered nurse. I came here in Australia 2013, got married at 2015, had a child at 2016 and this year I am working as a registered nurse after I had successfully completed my bridging program to practice nursing here in Australia.

Unfortunately, everytime I go to work, i am anxious. It all began when I did a refresher program to refresh my skills at a certain hospital. I am expecting all the support I needed but as I did my first shift and I was thrown into the deep end-I had a busy shift I had 6 patients in all- 4 just came from recovery and 2 were discharge. I did not expect it would be like that. I was teary during the shift. I talked to my coordinator of the program and shes very supportive. I gave it a shot again and the next day it was good and the next day not. I got sick during the program having severe abdominal pain probably from stress. I was in the point of giving up but my coordinator transferred me to a different ward with different environment where people are very supportive and much calmer.

I manage to continue but everytime I go to work, I get anxious probably related to my previous ward experience the fear of unknown. Also I find it hard to balance work and looking after my 17 month old son which makes me feel down. As a nurse I have shift work. I looked after my son, tue and wed morning then go to work afternoon. He goes to child care mon, thur and fri only. Sometimes I work during weekends and I feel sad I am not around my husband and son to spend quality time. And the feeling I am feeling right now really affects my life. I am not happy with my life.

[Croix]

Dear MuMRN1234~

Welcome. You have a whole load of stressful matters in your life.

You are not in your country of origin for a start. This may well mean that friends and most importunately family are out of reach, certainly the environment will be different, everything from TV to transport. Add on the fact your qualifications had to be supplemented by more training in order to work here.

You are recently married (yes 2 years is recent) and while it may be a good and happy partnership it is still another new way of life, and comes with its own pressures.

You have a one year old child, which can be a full-time occupation in itself.

As someone who is a parent of a nurse, and the former spouse of one, I'm well aware that this is a highly stressful life too - even without the shift-work.

OK, that's what you have to contend with and it really is not surprising that you are not coping 100%.

It is excellent you have an understanding coordinator who actually has the ability to make changes to your work environment. Supportive people in one's life is a must. Is your husband supportive and understanding? The fact my wife (a nursing sister) was there or me, understood my trouble and consistently helped and supported was absolute gold.

May I ask if you are under any form of treatment for anxiety, depression or some related illness? I have similar problems (including abdominal pain) - from anxiety. If you are under treatment then I'd suggest talking to your doctor and saying the current regime is not effective, and can it be reviewed. This is a common procedure as you would know.

If you are not under treatment then seeing you doctor in a long appointment and setting everything out, including the pains, would seem very appropriate. I never started to improve - quite the opposite - until I had appropriate medical support.

I did list some of the pressures you are under. Is it possible to reduce any of them - at least for a while? Shift work in itself makes huge demands and springs to mind as an obvious first target. If there are no hospital positions I'd expect there are others in day clinics, surgeries, health centers and homes.

The way you feel at the moment is no way for anyone to live, if you are like me things can be made so much better. Please feel you can talk here as much as you would like.

Croix

[MuMRN1234]

Hi Croix,

I have seen my doctor and did some test regrding about my secere abdominal pain. I had UTZ done. Will be seeing her again soon.

Also, I have been seeing a psychologist as well after I realise that I am suffering anxiety and depression. We had relaxation exercise and she suggested a plan for me like reducing my work hours from 4 days to 3 days but I will be doing that next year by January since I have signed a 3 months fixed term contract. After that I will be doing casual work.

My husband has been supportive. He actually suggested initially to talk to my manager to reduce my work days. Personally I find it silly because I signed a contract and now I want my work days reduced. Now that I still continue to have anxiety and depression, he suggested for me to resign since I am not happy. I have 6 weeks more to go and I don't think its a good idea as well.

Thats why I saw today my psychologist and told her I just want to finish my work until January. I also told her I have thoughts of dying thats triggered during the day before I go to work.

[Mathy]

Hi MuMRN1234,

Welcome to the BB forum and welcome to Australia 🙂

Congrats for everything that you’ve achieved. Moved to a new country, married, had a child and completing your bridging training - awesome!

I’m wondering if you are working full time hours? I mention this because families often have both parents working full time and use shift work to make sure that a child is looked after, without having to use childcare services. And, given the cost, no wonder this happens.

I guess that mental health for you is important and family life is important, and care of your child is important.

I wonder if a detailed examination of the family finances might be worthwhile? I say this, because using some form of childcare might help - and there are some Government concessions available - however, this is income tested - so, having a look at what you earn and what your husband earns and the income cut off levels, might be worthwhile. For many women, it’s actually better to work part time. You may have to find the balance between work, childcare costs and your mental health. Information about childcare and tax rebates is available at

https://www.humanservices.gov.au/individuals/services/centrelink/child-care-benefit

I hope that makes sense, if not, then I’m sure someone else here might have more information.

This is your place to chat, in privacy. I’d like to hear how you’re going, bestest, cheers M 🙂

[Hayfa]

Hi MuMRN1234

Welcome to the forums.
You have received some great support here and it's wonderful to see that you realised what it is that you may need to look after your well-being. I don't think there is anything silly about taking your psychologist's advice of reducing your workdays, it may be what you need at this stage.
If you are feeling anxious and having frightening visions before you start a shift then that pretty much sets up your shift as an unenjoyable and stressful event.

From what you describe, it sounds like you haven't had much time to spend on looking after yourself; migrating to Australia, starting a family, completing studies and straight into new work. If you plan to make changes in the new year then try to think about how you would like things to be and start coordinating for that to happen, talk to your coordinator and husband who seem very supportive, make sure you all agree on a plan that feels right to you.

As hard as this is for you right now, reflect on why you think this happened and come up with practical solutions for a better outcome for yourself and your family. I personally think nothing is random in life and things always happen for a reason, usually a stressful or bad event lead to a new and better beginning. Perhaps the skills you relearned in your nursing career upon coming to Australia are to lead you to better prospects that will make you happier and love your job.

Good luck with it all and I hope to hear how it turns out for you.

[Donte]

Hello MuMRN1234,

I hope you are well. I just saw your post as I was reading some old threads. Wondering how things are now.

It seems you have so many things happening. So quick too! It must be overwhelming.

Thank you for sharing your story in this forum.

Let us know how things are currently. X