Cause you gotta have faith!

[Donte]

Every day we do certain things in complete faith and trust.

From the moment we open our eyes upon waking up, we trust that the sun has risen in the morning. We get out of bed and trust we can still walk, find our shoes, have the ability to get dressed etc. We turn on the tap and trust that there’s water. We turn on the kettle to make coffee in the belief and assurance that we have electricity.

Upon getting into our car we believe it will be working perfectly and take us to work or wherever we need to go. We get in lifts, use escalators, turn on computers and trust the internet is functioning etc. We trust that our partner will still love us and our employer will still need us. We believe we are useful and needed and valued.

We may not actively think about those things as we take them for granted and as ‘given’, however, the reality is that it takes an element of belief and trust to do anything at all.

When it comes to managing issues that affect our mental or physical health, it too takes trust that our medications will do their job, the counseling will help, the books we read will support us, the groups we attend will help us. Nothing happens without our input. We wouldn’t move if we didn’t believe that we can go forward.

Challenging cultural and religious beliefs and traditions and questioning, analyzing and evaluating their usefulness and function in our lives and recovery is important in order to move forward and is often necessary and pivotal to our wellbeing.

What notions have helped you to hold on to things you believe in and see as granted, and assisted you in navigating the complexities of life, and which others did you had to deconstruct in order to remove the hindrances that made you emotionally, spiritually, psychologically stuck and unable to grow?

Has your family, friends, colleagues, and your immediate as well as the wider environment helped you or knocked you over again and again?

[white knight]

Hi Donte

What has helped me through life and what has hindered me?

Faith in the human race has hindered me because where ever I look there is famine, wars, terrible crimes, sexism and racism, cruelty and scheming. So I've had a hard time getting through that. I suppose 40 years ago working in a prison environment doesn't help. When there as a warder I tried to make a difference but left there after 3 years believing "if you cant help them get away from them" as my motto and moved to the country with less likelihood of criminal contact.

I also developed the view to protect myself from the average individual. I didn't know I was ill though and it all made sense over time. Google

topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue

I also envy those with any religious faith. for they have a supreme being they honour and have guidance from. A base, a foundation of support. As an atheist I am less secure and it isn't through lack of trying. I read the bible twice in order to make sense of it. A great guide it be but didn't hit the "nail on the head". It resulted in a vacuum that to this day still echoes in my mind.

What has helped me is diagnosis and slowly built up confidence, the latter from mainly myself. When all alone after marriage split one can only receive a certain amount of support from family and friends. Each night as you lie awake before sleeping, the grief returns. There is only you, no one else, so you have to find a way to survive.

Being appreciative of life can be a reflection of how positive you are. Like an inmate told me once. "Freedom is only ever valued when its taken away from you". So true. As with the loss of a child or a parent. These valuable basic things in life can be acknowledged often in value if we constantly remind ourselves of them. I'm convinced many people don't think about them, whereas the mentally ill more likely do. We are deep thinkers, at times driven towards self harm or suicide, anger and frustration and in touch with the finite of our lives.

For many life is infinite, never ending and full of fun. Such an existence might seem a great way to live but I'd doubt it.

As Stephen Fry said- "if I was to come back in life as another person I want my mental illness because I wouldn't be me without it."

Tony WK

[Donte]

Thank you Tony,

This is beautiful and resonates with me. I admire people who have the courage to face reality without imaginary friends. It may be harder as there’s no supports to hold you but I’d prefer to be faced by the harsh reality than comforted with lies.

Also, we are only mentally unwell according to other people’s definitions and ideals. The truth is we are our only benchmark.

I also admire Steven Fry and love his mind.

X

[blueskye]

I agree with Tony. I have heard of many people who struggled in dark times but recovered because of their faith in religion.

While I am not religious myself, my partner helps me a lot to keep my anxiety in check.

When I get anxiety and I lash out at him, he's super supportive and calms me down almost instantly.

My family isn't big on offering supportive words and encouragement like my partner is. My family prefers criticism and feedback on how to improve (a very Asian stereotype but it's true in my family). Criticism is not I want to hear all the time, especially when I'm stressed out.

e.g. I once baked a cake where I accidentally added in salt, instead of sugar. A very easy mistake because they salt and sugar look the same! I was very excited about baking this cake and put lots of effort into making it look pretty. My partner tasted it and said it was amazing but to perhaps add less salt next time. I tried to cake myself and was shocked at its saltiness. He immediately reassured me that it was okay and everybody makes mistakes. We laughed it off. A few minutes later he left the house, my oldest sister stepped into the kitchen and tried the cake before I could stop her. She gagged and immediately said, "This cake is disgusting! You obviously put in salt instead of sugar, how stupid! What a waste of ingredients and time." That comment made me feel stupid and I was upset at her words.

Even with no partner, I need more faith in myself to keep me going and happy.

I think everybody needs more faith in themselves - to not take criticism into heart and move forward with grace.

Pretty much affirming what Tony said! Build confidence in yourself.. x

[white knight]

Hi Bluesky, thankyou for your contribution.

Lack of confidence is a specialty of mine.

People often don't mean to hurt. They do so with their words but their mind is not in the mindset to harm you. Nevertheless other people should realise that we, the mentally unwell, are sensitive and we are trying to boost up ourselves by doing tasks like cooking.

So there is a few things we can do to protect the little confidence we have and to add to it. There is nothing radical in this process just subtle change.

There is a balance we need to achieve that is normal for other people. This is a balance of communication for tormenting situations. For example- When your sister said "you wasted your time and money" you could have replied "please listen to me (wait for eye contact) , it is my time and my money and I learned a lesson" This comment should tell them that their words over stepped the mark. This is clearly mentioned in the following thread (use google)

Topic: wit, the only answer for torment- beyondblue

The other thing to realise is humour. There is often a funny side to every situation. When I read out your post to my wife she couldn't stop laughing. Her trigger for laughter was the effort your husband went to in order to please. A slight comment that didn't upset you i.e. "it was amazing but to perhaps add less salt next time"...how brave.

Overcoming sensitivity is a real challenge because its inground, part of our makeup.

topic: words are sticks and stones- beyondblue

topic: depression and sensitivity, a connection?- beyondblue

I've expressed I am not religious. However I have had a spiritual leader. His name is Prem Rawat otherwise known as "Maharaji". He became famous at 9yo for his wisdom, on TV at 13yo and now about 75yo. He has many youtube videos. The best IMO is

YouTube maharaji sunset

Youtune maharaji the perfect instrument

Cheers. Tony WK

[Donte]

Hello Tony,

I would like to thank you for the great insight and the references to the past threads. How can I access these? Is there a search option where I type the name of the thread you are referring to so I can read it? Trying to work out this website and how to navigate it.

Kind Regards

[white knight]

Hi Donte

Yes, I have 240 threads started all with an essay form on the first post

Use google for those I list like this

Topic: words are sticks and stones- beyondblue

Or try search on top of this page for - words are sticks and stones

Use google for

YouTube maharaji sunset

Youtube maharaji the perfect instrument

Chris B has a list of my 240 threads if you can contact him. You need to know the topic of the thread to search for it on this site.

Eg

Use search for- acceptance, the frog and the scorpion

If you just used "acceptance" it would be amongst hundreds of entries.

So when Im recommending a thread I suggest google with

Topic: acceptance, the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue

Makes it easier.

Tony WK

[Donte]

Ok. Great!

Thank you Tony.

🙂