Being used

[Mskpop81173]

Hello I have just moved to the city, which is great. Walking distance to most places, only bus for church and cat café.

I have a new sub-let we get on ok. just last couple of weeks, I feel he is seriously taking advantage of my friendship or using me be another term.

He is Korean-American, we was going to help each other out with citzenships, I told him the other day I wish to get Korean citizenship, on my own. I travel there every year for a holiday and that is that, I love it there it is awesome place, been there 4 times this year will be my 5th trip back.

I am helping him manage the new place he has just leased out while he is managing another.

Mainly to show people their rooms, give them keys or collect if they leave of course and to report any damage, etc to the property.

I have an intellectual disability that I have had all my life, and it hurts when they don't believe you.

I explained it to him and nothing sinks in.

I just got told I got carpal tunnel syndrome from all the lifting the last few days, offered to show my medical report from the hospital, he just did not care. Was told not to do any heavy lifting for a week, and yesterday made me push a heavy fridge.

He has called me names, he has almost evicted me. But got saved thanks to my pastor.

He was upset I humiliated him on Facebook, I did a quiz bout True Friends vs Fake Friends and I shared it and he thinks I humiliated him. I was curious way he has been treating me.

I have no where to go, I can't afford bond or rent for a new place due to me saving for seoul, I have my airfare and booked my accommodation. Now just saving for spending, which takes me 7 months to do in total anyways.

He makes me cry all the time. He complains when I do!

He is worse than my folks who have been known to bully their own flesh and blood

Please help, I have messaged unity housing and affordable housing I will look for new place when I get back from seoul end of October.

Any advice please

Kylie P

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Kylie,

I hope it’s okay if I extend a warm welcome to you to the forums 🙂

I feel your distress, hurt, fear and frustration through your words. Things sound very strained with your housemate (or landlord?).

Name calling isn’t okay and it’s understandably very upsetting for you. I wonder if you have tried raising this with him about how you don’t like it when he calls you names and ask him to stop.

Also, I feel you shouldn’t be cornered or forced to do anything that you don’t want to do (or shouldn’t be doing), such, as moving heavy things because of your health issues. Perhaps it’s time to practice being more assertive and learning to stand up for yourself. If he tries to pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable doing, learn to refuse to do it calmly and respectfully. You have a right to say no.

Another suggestion is to find a disability advocate who could talk to him on your behalf. They can help you understand and assert your rights.

I don’t know too much about disability advocacy but perhaps try searching online. However, I would like to gently add, please make sure you look up reputable sites, such as, government based websites or large organisations e.g. the Salvation Army, Red Cross, etc as they may have contacts for disability advocacy.

I find it very impressive that you save enough money to go on an annual holiday to South Korea. You seem so determined and I admire that. Hopefully things work out and you will be able to travel again this year.

Thank you so much for bravely sharing your story and reaching out. You’re always welcome to continue writing here (if you want to). It would be wonderful to hear from you again.

Caring thoughts,

Pepper