What happened doesn't have to define me

[Mia001]

Hi everyone!

I'm new here. Not really sure what to do. Where do I start? Any suggestions?

Mia

[White_Rose]

Hello James

Lovely to hear from you and to know you celebrated your birthday in the way you wanted. Why are we not all able to do this and state our preferences?

Mary

[Mia001]

Hi Mary and James,

Great to hear from you both! Glad to hear that you’re both going okay. Sorry to have not replied earlier; I’ve been pretty busy with work. I’m really looking forward to being on holidays next week.

Some exciting news... I bought a car! 🚗 I’m really hoping to have my P’s before I start my course in April.

Mia

[White_Rose]

Dear Mia

Wow! Congratulations. Nothing holding you back from adventures now. One more step to get your P's. Have you got a date for your driving test?

I am having a bit of a slow down as my usual activities stop for Christmas. Start again in February. I hope the weather cools down soon. These hot muggy days are not good and cost too much in air conditioning.

So many upsetting things happened last year and I am determined to move forward this year. 2018 the year of change,

Mary

[Mia001]

Hi Mary,

I’m aiming to sit the test sometime in April before I start my Diploma of Nursing. I don’t want the date to be to set though, in case it takes me a few more months. I tend to set high expectations and then feel like a failure when I don’t meet them.

I don’t have many hours left to accumulate. If I drive every day to work I should have all my day hours within a month. Night hours will be a bit harder, but if I can plan a time to drive at night each week that shouldn’t be a problem.

I had a pleasant surprise at work yesterday. One of my friends moved away a few months ago and I didn’t expect to see him again, but he’s moved back! He was going through a very difficult time when he left. It was so nice to see him yesterday looking happy. I’m really looking forward to catching up with him next week.

The weather here has been quite hot and muggy too. It would definitely be good to have some cooler days!

A few people I know have been struggling. It seems like we’re all getting better and more on top of things at the same time. 2018 is definitely the year of change!

Mia

[White_Rose]

Hello Mia

You sound so much more positive these days. I am so happy for you.

It's great your friend has returned. Always good to have a catch up with what your friends have been doing.

I agree you do not want to book your test too far ahead as it does put you under a bit of pressure. If you are approaching your driving lessons etc in the same way you have been taking care of yourself lately, then I am certain you will get your licence soon.

With the warm weather I think I will just have to grit my teeth and wait for autumn. Thank goodness for air conditioning. No incentive to walk, though I don't need an excuse to chicken out.

My granddaughter will be eight in a few days. We usually celebrate in a nearby park but I hope we are going to a water park even though I don't get in the water. It's usually much cooler.

Mary

[james1]

hey mia,

it's great that your friend's back and congrats on buying your first car!

i remember being super excited when i bought my first motorbike 🙂

yeha we had to do 120 hours of driving and 20 at night. it was pretty dreadful. I think I ended up getting most of my hours in holidays by driving to do grocery shopping or some, er, rounded up road trips to canberra 😛

It's been so hot here. Apparently 47 degrees out west, but about 44 for me on sunday. so bad!

James

[Mia001]

Hi Mary and James,

Yeah, I’m so excited about the car! I have some night driving planned this week which is great. James, I know what you mean about the rounded up trips! It’s so hard to get the hours, I’m really lucky that we live nearly an hour away from town. That does make it easier! The night hours are definitely the worst. My best friend faked quite a bit of her night hours so she could get her P’s.

Its been reaching 45-47 degrees here lately. Today is cool and overcast though which is a nice change.

I saw my counsellor yesterday. Every time I see her I mean to tell her exactly what happened to me but somehow I never do. So I told her that. I guess that’s the first step. She said there’s no rush, and that maybe I’m not ready for it. Apparently most people don’t start talking about this stuff until they’re well into adulthood so... I don’t know. It’s got me thinking. I guess I’ll just wait until I think I’m ready.

Mia

[White_Rose]

Hello Mia

Learning to talk openly to your counsellor can take time. Sometimes we cannot bring ourselves to speak about specific occasions and push them into the background. That's OK for a while but as we all know, keeping some things hidden only reinforces their holds over us. So we need to walk that fine line between keeping something suppressed and having the courage to speak up. Neither is an easy choice.

Waiting until you feel ready is OK as long as you don't try to keep it suppressed forever. You have carried this knowledge for many years and I have no doubt it has been a huge burden of fear, pain and abuse. Finally being able to talk about it may hard and difficult for a while afterwards, but will give you some respite and a way of being able to focus on your own life and your own way of of life, instead of wondering why this happened an d trying to take the blame for events, which clearly were not your fault.

In Brisbane the temperature has gone down to 33C but in other parts it's been horrendously hotter. Hope you are coping.

Mary

[Mia001]

Hi Mary,

Sorry I didn’t write back sooner. I’ve been a bit fragile since I saw my counsellor last week. I guess I thought that because I was going well, everything was okay. In reality, it was probably just lurking in the background because I refused to think about it. My counsellor suggested that I write it down and send to her in an email. I’m planning to do that before our next appointment.

My birthday party was last night. A few people couldn’t make it, but we still had a good night. I prefer a quiet party anyway.

Its been cooler here over the last few days. We even had some rain last night which was great! 🌧

Mia

[james1]

Hello Mia,

The email sounds like a good idea. It's not a bad thing to try and push things to the side. Sometimes we have to do that in order to get about our daily lives and not be consumed. So the email lets you hopefully acknowledge what is happening, then put it to the side for when you have the support of your counsellor with you.

I am glad to hear you still had a good party.

So will you be up to much before April when you start your diploma? Are you still working?

I'm back at work again and...boo! I want to be on holiday haha.

James