Hello Shelley
I have not seen you around lately and wondered what was happening in your life. And here it is. I am sorry you find yourself in such a pickle. Like Croix, I want to say there is never a right answer other than the one you choose. I recently had some major surgery and spent quite a while making the decision, to go ahead or not. My psychiatrist told me I had to be completely certain either way that it was the best solution. My GP suggested I talk to the specialists that treat me for other medical conditions.
So I asked and got reasons based on my specialists' fields of expertise. They all gave me reasons for going ahead with the surgery, some of which I had not taken into account. I have had breast cancer twice, the second time being three years ago. I wonder if I would have survived until now if I had refused to have the cancer removed first time. It had not reached the same stage as the second cancer so I had no follow up treatment except monitoring. Second time I had radiotherapy.
I suppose the question you need answering first is do you have a cancer. No point in going further if is not correct. Meanwhile you can perhaps do more research on alternatives which is what I guess you have done. It most definitely is your choice, just be certain of your reasons.
You have so much fear within you and this was true for me also. My sister died of ovarian cancer many years ago. She had quite a number of surgeries followed by chemo which made her ill. Towards the end she decided no more treatment. The oncologist told her she had survived the chemo in the past at a time when it was the chemo rather than the cancer which killed people. It was much gentler now he said. She stopped fighting, refused further treatment and passed away eleven years after the first diagnosis.
I have myeloma, which is a blood cancer. It's not active at the moment but I see the haematologist regularly and have tests. He seems to think I will need treatment in a couple of years and I am very uncertain I will have this. No need to make a decision now but I will keep being monitored.
This is a huge reply for you. I hope I have not made anything more difficult or confused. I think, looking back, if I had access to alternative treatment I may well have taken it. Hospitals and meds are not the best and I have several times had combinations of meds that have had a disastrous effect on me. Now I do not place my entire faith in medicine.
Make the best informed decision you can.
Mary
