What do you fear (today)?

[The_Abyss]

In line with my "when were you last truly happy" post, I wondered about what other people fear?

Is it an "every day fear", or is it a "just today" fear?

Do you fear getting out of bed? Do you fear opening the mail? Do you fear the phone ringing? Do you fear being alone? Do you fear the darkness descending? Do you fear confrontations? Do you fear rejection? Do you fear not feeling anything at all?

I wonder if just voicing that fear, sharing that fear, will help to take away it's power? Or will it give it life?

For me, my big fear at the moment is being found out. Fearing my kids or family will come across my posts. Fear a colleague will recognise my writing style or circumstances. Fear that someone will see through this big brave front I put on to get through the door each day. Fear that someone sees my vulnerability.

[Moonstruck]

I fear today...my friends here have deserted me.

I fear there is no-one I can turn to in the "real world" for help in this situation I am dealing with - I can think of no-one who can do anything, stand by my side, (literally I need another person WITH me) in standing up for myself and presenting my case.

I fear my depression is deepening and I will never climb out of this dark hole.

[CMF]

Dear Moon,

If i could, I would stand beside you and stand up for you.

Thinking of you Moon.

cmf x

[Zenobia]

Oh Moonstruck,

Yes we are here! And yes we are standing beside you, we are standing behind you. We are here to catch you before you fall. Your friends are here. I owe you so much! You helped me many times and I wish I was wise enough to give it back to you. Please ride this wave out and when the seas quieten, hopefully your fear will not hold any power over you.

zenobia x

[The_Abyss]

Moonstruck, I know that hole so well. I have set up home in it's base. Come join me for some shelter against the torrent?

It is really tough when you feel there is no one to stand with you. Is there anything we can assist with? Is there an advocacy group at your local health centre that can assist? What about your GP or mental health team?

Know we are here with you, standing strong, prepared to slay your dragons.

TA

[The_Abyss]

I must welcome all of our newbies to BB. Congratulations for having the courage to take that first step in admitting your fears. Often just voicing them can be a huge relief. Don't stop now though, keep the posts coming, spread your wings and get involved!

[JessF]

Today I fear I may upset some of you with this post 🙂 ...

I just thought I'd ask for those of you who have listed your fears, some of them very extensive, in here, whether you have felt any better after doing it? Or had any ideas about how you might work to overcome those fears?

I agree that it's good to get things out in the open, but sometimes it can also (this is what has happened for me) make you dwell on it even more, especially if it's not connected to actions I'm taking to work through the fear, or listing it alongside things that make me calm, or situations where I feel confident as a balance.

Anxiety is all about the FEAR and the DANGER, but we rarely give ourselves credit for the valiant or heroic moments in our lives, even if they're modest.

[Moonstruck]

No you haven't upset me Jess...(I can't speak for others of course) I think I may know where you are coming from.

One of the well known "self help" (wish they;d think of a better term) theories of approach advocates "not giving our attention to it"....."the more we give our attention to it,explain it, talk about it, etc makes it grow bigger - gives it more energy" - this is the line of approach they use.

Your question - did voicing my fears "make me feel better"?....good question - not really no. What is advantageous (to me) in joining this thread is the sharing and sense of others understanding that makes me feel better. Not the actual "listing of the fears"which is doing precisely what the therapy-path I am on warns against...i.e. "giving attention and therefore "more energy" to the negative situation, thought, fear etc.

(this is beginning to sound like drivel....many of you will have tuned out by now I expect!!)

So to try and answer your question "did I feel better after listing the fears"? I felt better reading the sympathetic loving responses I guess - heres another point you may find interesting Jess. I would not "list my fears"in my journal , particularly at present when I am in despair and confusion.

I suspect my written word, especially by hand in my personal journal would give the thoughts and fears more energy...too much energy. So No, I don't write them down - like giving them even more power over me.....some may totally disagree with me..and that's fine too.

If I write anything down now, it would be "better feeling thoughts"...any thought to give some relief from the fear.

another point to ponder....perhaps save for a different time ,is the constant headlines and news in the media about the "WAR on drugs"..and how we are Losing The War On Drugs. Has anyone ever wondered why?

Wasn't there a song, or a movie once called "What if they gave a war and nobody came?" (sounds like something John Lennon would say doesn't it?).......nice talking with you Jess. (come on, come clean....you're really Angela Lansbury aren't you?).

[JessF]

Thank you for such a thoughtful answer. I hadn't thought about it in that sense, that seeing others are afraid of things too help puts your own fears into perspective, or at least makes you feel more normal for having them. And maybe that's why listing the fears in a space like this is better than a journal, because you can have a chat about them, rather than in a private space where you can just re-read them on your own and make things worse.

Oh yes, I have opinions on the WAR on drugs (and the WAR on terror and other things that make little sense to me). I'll be sure to put in my two cents if that ever comes up somewhere here.

PS. I'm Angela in my dreams, I think, but I fall far short in reality!

[Moonstruck]

It is quoted that Mother Theresa once said

"I will never attend an Anti-War Rally. Next time you hold a Peace Rally, invite me!"

[Guest_128]

What I fear today is,

that the last couple of posts on here doesn't make any sense to this thread.

Thats what I fear, I don't comprehend that that has to do with our fears.

Sorry if I am out of place,

Later